NCIS: The DiNozzo Dossier
by jfine
Summary: My first fanfics. It's basically about the angst and hilarity of the big D. The story starts at the very end of the Suspicion episode from season 4. Each of the 6 chapters has a new case in a continous storyline. TIVA!
1. The Beginning

The camera snaps another picture. Jeanne laughs as Tony kisses her and reminds her he's keeping her from work.

"Tonyyyyyyy," she moans out, "I really have to go"

"Come on, you haven't measured yet," Tony chuckled.

Jeanne laughs and smiles at him.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, Jeanne Benoit," Tony blurts out without thinking.

"What did you say?" Jeanne says with a puzzled look on her face.

"I love you, Jeanne Benoit and I'm not afraid to say it. Ok, maybe a little." as Tony kisses her once more and she kisses him back.

"Hey, now where's that tape measure?" Tony joked, then they both laugh.

Another picture snaps and the sound of a recorder rewinding then playing back, "I love you, Jeanne Benoit." plays.

5 days earlier

Gibbs walks into Director Shepard's office with a bag of food.

He starts to set out the food

"Uh oh, what's wrong now, Jethro?"

"Why do you always say that when I bring in food?"

"I know you."

"Yeah, well...what kind of missions is Tony doing for you?"

"You know I can't tell you that, Gibbs. You really need to give him more credit. He's a very capable agent."

"I know that, I trained him"

"Well, you should let him know that more often."

"If he's sick, you need to tell me."

"Sick? What gave you that idea?"…Thinking for a second... "Oh, no, you misunderstand. Tony isn't sick, Tony's in..."

"What?"

"Lets see, he came to me, instead of you."

"What, Tony's in love? Did he buy a new mirror or something?"

"I guess the second b does stand for bastard."

The next day…

Ziva walks out of the elevator.

"Hey, McGee, did you have a good weekend?"

"Not really, I think I'm catching a cold"

"Ewww, stay away from me."

Ziva notices a white box with a pink bow on Tony's desk.

"Is Tony in yet, McGee. Sorry, stupid question. I wonder what's in the box."

"He'll kill you, you know that."

She lets out an evil grin. "Yeah, I know, but it'll be fun. What you say, we take a look?"

"I dunno, Ziva. Remember the last time someone touched something on his desk."...rubbing his left eyebrow…"It took 6 weeks for it to grow back."

Ziva walks over and inspects it a little closer. Lifting up the bow, reading the tag…"Jeanne Benoit. Who's that?"

"No idea."

Ziva lifts the box…."It's pretty heavy"…shaking it a bit.

"I'm gonna take a look."

The elevator beeps and the doors open.

Ziva quickly puts the box down and turns and walks to her desk.

Tony walks in whistling, wearing his shades, carrying his backpack over his right shoulder.

Ziva takes a step forward; "Who's Jeanne Benoit?"

"Uh, what?" Tony said softly, stopping in his tracks.

"Well?" Ziva waiting for an answer.

"She's...She's my typing teacher. Yeah, that's it."

"She's not a very good one then, Tony" McGee joked.

"Zip it, Probie."

Ziva and McGee both come over to Tony's desk.

Tony looks up…"What?"

"What's inside?" Ziva wondered

Gibbs walks into the bullpen area.

"Pink's not your color, DiNozzo"

"Right, Boss. Getting rid of it, Boss."

"Come on, open it, Tony"…Ziva urges him.

"Tony, I think your box is leaking."…as McGee points at a liquid forming around the bottom of the box.

"What are you talking about, McGee?" as Tony picks up the box and notices the small puddle that's recently started to develop

"Tony, do NOT open that box" Gibbs raised his voice.

Tony quickly grabs his cell phone and hits speed dial, first calling Jeanne's cell...it rings 4 times, then goes to voice mail. Tony then calls UNI-hospital, a nurse picks it up..."Is Dr. Jeanne Benoit there?"…Tony says quickly.

"One second, sir." ………."Sir, she called in sick." Tony's hands fall to his side, his cell phone dropping to the floor

"Gibbs..."

Gibbs rushes over…"Tony, don't open it"

Gibbs picks up the phone..."We…"

Just then Tony starts to open up the box...and Gibbs places his hands on top of his, stopping him.

"Tony, if what I think is in there is, you do not want to see it."

"But, I have to know, Gibbs" ...a single tear escapes his left eye.

"Let me do it, Tony"

Ziva moves behind Tony…"Sit, Tony"…as she realizes what Tony has been hiding from not only her, but everyone. Tony sits…"Tony, listen to me, let Gibbs do this"…she placing her arms around his neck, hugging him softly.

Gibbs slowly takes off the top; an envelope lies on top of what seems to be bloody tissue paper.

It has 1 word on it..."se7en."

The area now surrounded and taped off.

"McGee, get me those security tapes, I wanna know who put this here. Now." Gibbs snarled..."and tell Abby to get ready to pull DNA from this envelope."

"On it, boss."…McGee leaves quickly

Tony sat on the stairs; Director Shepard was keeping him at a distance, holding his hand.

Se7en? With a #7? Why?" Ziva stood puzzled

"I have no idea"...Gibbs put on his latex gloves.

Gibbs picks up the envelope and turns it over, opening it carefully. A mini cassette recorder is inside, it has a post-it note that reads "play me" and a folded letter.

"Gibbs, please, let me help, I'm begging you." Tony pleaded from across the room.

Gibbs puts his head down and sighs "Ok, Tony"

Tony walks over as Gibbs asks..."Are you sure?"

Tony nods as Gibbs clicks play on the recorder..."I love you, Jeanne Benoit"...followed by silence...then suddenly, screams, unrelenting...the scream stop..

Jeanne shaken voice speaks, "Tony, I lo..."...then dead silence

Tony's head drops, his whole body shakes. Ziva reaches out to grab him, to do anything; she's in tears….she whispers…"Tony?"

"I got 'em, boss and Ab..." McGee returns then stops mid sentence, looking at Ziva crying, trying to console Tony."

Gibbs looks at McGee…."Well?".

"I've never seen her cry before."…McGee said with a surprise look on her face.

"McGee!"…Gibbs raised his voice.

"Right, Boss, it was delivered by a delivery man, I'm heading over there to check them out."

"Good, take Ziva with you."

Ziva looks at Gibbs…"No, I want to stay with Tony."

"No, go. I need you out in the field."

McGee and Ziva head out...Ziva's eyes never off of Tony, as she backs her way into the elevator and the door closes.

Ziva wipes the tears from her eyes. "Where are we going, McGee."

"12th and Fairfax. Speed Delivery Service"

Gibbs opens up the letter...Jeanne Benoit's Medical ID falls out, the letter reads:..."Next time, it's the whole head."…Gibbs puts down the letter and splits the tissue paper apart, revealing a dismembered ear.

Gibbs takes off his gloves and picks up the phone…"Ducky, I need you upstairs."

Abby steps off the elevator…"Tony."…as she walks over and hugs him.

"Abby, I was about to call you, take these downstairs and see what you can get from them." Gibbs said softly

She pulls away from Tony, but Tony holds on. "It alright I go down with her, boss?"

"Sure go ahead, DiNozzo."

McGee and Ziva now by the car.

"You drive, McGee"…as Ziva gets in the passenger side door

McGee starts up the car.

Ziva runs her fingers through her hair, then holds her hand in front of her face.

Ziva breaks back into tears.

"I love him."…Ziva said between the tears

"I know"…McGee hands her a tissue

"You knew what, McGee?" trying to dry her eyes with a tissue

"That you loved him."

"How's that?"

"Oh, the way you've been acting around him, you've been so worried about him and you've started laughing at most of his jokes."

"I have?"

"Yep...and it's not like I can blame you, Tony is cool."

"Oh, Tim, isn't this the same guy who's super glued your face to your desk…twice?"

"Oh, he can be a complete bastard, that's for sure, but...remember, when I thought I killed that undercover cop?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Remember how Tony came over and stayed up with me, trying to cheer me up? Those are the kind of things Tony does that go unmentioned...hey, you wanna know a secret?"

"About Tony? Sure."

"Ok, don't tell him I told you, but...he told me the first time he fired his weapon in the field, he wet his pants."

Ziva laughs and blows her nose. "Thanks, Tim"

They arrive at the delivery store and go inside

Ducky arrives with Jimmy Palmer and they start to inspect the ear.

"What can you tell me, when was it severed, Ducky?"

"Oh, it's definitely fresh, Jethro...I would say within the hour. Let me see." ...Ducky takes a closer look..."Hmm, looks like it was burned off, see these burn marks?"

"You mean, with a blowtorch?"

"Indeed, whoever did this, has done it before...quite brutal."

"Anything else?"

"There's a few strands of hair, I'll send them down to Abby for testing...How's Tony holding' up?"

"Not good"

"I figured as much. Poor lad...Mr. Palmer, takes these to Abby, please."

"Yes, doctor"

"Ducky, if the ear was burned off, would there be this much blood?" Gibbs asked while rubbing the top of his head

"Hardly, no. I hate to say this, but the owner of this ear is most likely already dead or bleeding to death as we speak."

Back at NCIS, the deliveryman is in interrogation.

McGee and Director Shepard watch through observation.

"What do you know about a white box with a pink bow?" Ziva asked

"I already told you lady, a guy paid me 500 bucks to delivery it...it was 500 bucks, I didn't ask any question, that's a lot of money."

"You're lying!"

"Why would I lie about that?"

"What did he look like? Tell me. Now!"

"I dunno, 5'11-6', muscular, he had a weird accent"

"Like mine?"

"No, I think he was European."

"Anything else?"

"He was bald"

"...and?"

"That's it, I swear."

In Abby's Lab

Tony sits on the floor, leaning against the cold storage in Abby's lab. Abby, just finishing up the evidence Jimmy brought down walks towards Tony.

"You want to hold, Bert?"

Tony looks up at Abby..."No, that's ok, Abs."

"He always helps me when I'm down"

Tony reaches for Bert and squeezes him. "I usually love fart noises...but not today."

"Aww, Tony" as she sits next to him. "Everything is gonna be ok, Tony. Gibbs will catch these guys."

Tony sighs

Abby leans over and touches her head to Tony's head "Tell me about Jeanne"

"What do you want to know?"

"How did you meet her?"

"I can't say"

"Why? Because of some secret mission?"

"No, I just don't want to hurt anymore people I care about."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember when we talked about MOAS's?"

"Yeah, was Jeanne it?"

"She was one of them. I have several."

"Tony, look at me, you can tell me anything. I love you dearly and I would do anything to help you."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."…Abby holds his hand

Tony swallows hard and places his other hand on top of Abby's hands…"Abby...it's just that whenever I get close to someone, something bad happens to them. Especially to those I fall in love with. First Kate, not Jeanne."

"We all loved Kate."

"Yes...but, not in the same way."

"Are you telling me, you and Kate? ...Kate?"

"Yes."

"Oh My God...I knew it!"

"You knew?"

"No, not really, but I always wanted it to happen."

"Well, it did...and I hate myself for it."

"You can't mean that!"

"But, I do."

"Stop that!"

"I can't...every woman I've ever gotten close to, as either left me, gotten hurt or I've pushed them away."..."My mother...Kate...Jeanne."

"I care about you...have you pushed me away?"

"No, but you're different, Abs."

"No, I'm not...and Ziva and the director care about you. Hell, Ziva loves you, anyone can realize that."

"Ziva? Loves me? Fat chance."

"She does. She's been really worried about you. Thinking you're having complications from when you had the Plague."

"I am. That's why I was at the hospital. That's how I met Jeanne."

"Are you ok? You're not going to die are you!?"

"No, but I'm gonna be on medication for the rest of my life."

Abby slaps Tony Gibbs-style

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"Don't scare me like that!"

"See...I hurt the people I care about."

Abby slaps him again "Snap out of it, buttwad!"

"Buttwad?"

"Don't make me slap you again, DiNozzo!"…as Abby stands up

"Lets go find your girl." reaches out her hand to Tony

Tony holds out his hand and she helps him up.

Abby now working at her computer. Tony is looking at all the evidence on the table.

"se7en, with a #7? Isn't that a movie, Tony?"

"Yeah, starring Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman searching down a serial killer who killed using the seven deadly sins."

"Hmmm, but what does it have to do with this."

Tony sighs, "In the end of the movie, Brad Pitt's character gets a box that has his wife's head in it."

"Oh, I remember that now...wait, wasn't she pregnant?"

Tony goes silent.

"Was Jeanne pregnant, Tony?"

...silence...

"Tony?"

Abby turns around and realizes Tony is gone.

Gibbs arrives at the lab

"What you got, Abby?" handing her a caf-pow

"The DNA does match Jeanne Benoit, I got it off the hospitals records."

"Anything else?" Gibbs looking around…"Hey, where's Tony?"

"What, he's not up there? He left here maybe 10 minutes ago"

Gibbs picks up his phone and calls Tony...it rings 4 times before Gibbs hangs up.

"Great, now I have to find him, too."

"Oh, Gibbs, I got a partial from the mini-cassette itself and I'm running it, nothing back yet."

"Keep me informed, Abby."

McGee's phone rings

"The description of the delivery man was average height and bald, right?"

"Yeah, Tony. How did you know?"

click

"Tony?"

McGee picks up the phone and calls Gibbs

"Boss, I just got a weird call from Tony."

"What did he say?"

Gibbs walks off the elevator hanging up his phone

"Boss?"

"I'm behind you, McGee."

"Oh, nothing, he just gave me the description of the man that paid the delivery guy and I told him that it matched and he hung up."

"He knows who it is. Quick, track his phone."

Gibbs runs upstairs going right into the Director's office.

"Damn it, Jen, what was DiNozzo doing for you? He's gonna get himself killed!"

"Jethro, he was just doing some surveillance for me, nothing more."

"Well, then, you must know of the description the delivery man gave, don't you?"

"Yes, it was one of the targets I had DiNozzo working on."

"Who is it?"

Gibbs phone rings

"McGee, I told you to track DiNozzo's phone."

"Boss, you know I have to do this."

"Don't be stupid, Tony. You don't even know what you're up against."

"They're arms dealers, who bought illegal weapons using blood diamonds and I'm gonna kill every last one of them sons of bitches."

click

"Tony? DiNozzo? God damn it!"

Gibbs runs out of Shepard's office and yells "McGee, did you track it!?"

"Sorry, boss. His cell isn't on anymore."

Gibbs pounds on the railing

Gibbs cell rings.

Tony sits in his blue Mustang, he loads his gun and puts it on the passenger seat. He takes his badge out and looks at it. He breathes on it and rubs on it, cleaning a smudge.

"The only thing I ever wanted to be was a cop."

Tony tosses his badge into the glove compartment.

"I'm not a cop today"

Tony gets out of his car and opens the trunk. He takes off his leather jacket and puts on his NCIS bulletproof vest, he grabs his back-up gun and tucks it into the front of his pants. He puts his leather jacket back on and zips it up. He grabs the remaining 5 clips from his trunk, putting them in his left jacket pocket.

Tony gets back into the car and takes out his cell and hits Gibbs on speed dial and places it on the Mustang's dashboard. He starts the car and revs the engine.

"Here comes the pain."

Tony hits the gas...

Gibbs answers his cell

"Here comes the pain."

Gibbs starts to speak, but stops...the sound of a car accelerating and smashing into something is heard.

"Tony!?"

Muffled voices are heard and then a gunshot

"Boss, he left his cell phone on, we can track him."

"Good boy, DiNozzo...good boy. Do it, McGee."

Gibbs runs down the stairs "Got it yet, McGee?"

"One second, boss."

"Ziva, get ready!"

"Gibbs, what was that? Is Tony ok?"

Gibbs turns toward Ziva...

"Got it, boss, he's at an old warehouse 9 miles south of here."

The team rushes towards the elevator.

Tony lies silently on the hood of his car covered in blood, his head busted open, his jacket missing, his bullet-proof vest riddled with bullet holes, his right hand holding his bloody left shoulder.

Gibbs and company arrive on the scene and notice the back of Tony's car sticking out one of the warehouses.

"Tony?!"…Ziva pleads desperately

They quickly move up to the back of the car, a bald man is lying hog-tied 10 feet left of Tony's car inside the building, he has a gunshot wound to his lower leg that has a tourniquet made from a belt.

Ziva sees Tony on the hood…"Tony!"…She runs over to him. He doesn't respond. She checks for a pulse. "He's alive!"

"McGee, call for an ambulance!" Gibbs shouts as he checks on the bald man. The man is unconscious.

"Ziva, how is he?"

"He's lost a lot of blood...his pulse is weak."

"The ambulance is on its way, Boss."

"Damn it, DiNozzo! What the hell were you thinking?" Gibbs angrily said.

McGee walks over to Tony and sees that Tony has written something in blood on the hood of his car. "Gibbs, there's an A and an R written in blood next to Tony."

"Where the hell is that ambulance?!" Ziva places a handkerchief on the gunshot wound on Tony's shoulder and holds it tightly.

Gibbs moves towards the others when he hears something further back into the warehouse. He draws his weapon and moves back slowly, when out of nowhere, a man on a motorcycle speeds past Gibbs knocking him down. Gibbs flies into a crate shattering it. Gibbs jumps up and aims, but it's too late, the person is gone.

The ambulance arrives. The paramedics jump out and head towards a yelling Ziva.

"Who was the guy on the motorcycle? He almost ran into us!"

Gibbs walks back towards the others. "I'm officially pissed."

Tony leaves in an ambulance, Ziva accompanies him.

"Boss, Ducky is 2 miles out, he should be here any minute."

Gibbs walks over towards the bald man, who's now on a stretcher.

"He's got 2 gunshot wounds, both to the same knee, Boss"

"Stick with him, McGee...when their done with him, get his ass in interrogation."

"Got it, boss."

The second ambulance leaves with bald man and McGee.

Gibbs walks towards Tony's car...he grabs Tony's phone from the dashboard and places it in his coat pocket.

"Damn DiNozzo, I can't believe you did this."

Ducky and Palmer arrive on the scene.

"Ducky, we have 2 bodies further back, just follow the blood trail."

"How's Anthony?"

Gibbs sighs…

They're both silent..."Ziva's with him, he didn't look too good, Duck."

Ducky lowers his head...

"Mr. Palmer, my bag."

"Coming, doctor."

Ducky and Palmer make their way to the back.

"So much blood."

"Indeed, Mr. Palmer. It's quite remarkable how much blood is in the human body"

The first body is of a gigantic man, he's been shot numerous times, amongst other things…

"He's been shot at least 10 times, Jethro. Maybe more. Did Tony do this?"

"I honestly don't know."

"Liver temp tells us he's been dead less than 20 minutes."

Ducky takes a couple more minutes looking over the body and then he moves further into the warehouse, Ducky finds a man duct taped to a wall.

"My lord, this man has been tortured. Some of his fingers have been shot off. I do hope Tony didn't do this Jethro."

"Cause of death?"

Ducky removes the duct tape from the man's head and places it in a bag.

"Gun shot wound to the head. Instant death."

A NCIS agent walks up to Gibbs

"We've collected all the blood samples and evidence, Agent Gibbs and here's the coffee you wanted."

Gibbs takes the coffee and takes a drink.

"Hopefully Abigail can give us more answers, Jethro."

Gibbs takes another drink of his coffee.

"Let me know if you find out anything else about the bodies, Ducky."

Ziva paces in the waiting room, tired of hearing you can't be in here.

"Damn it, I want news!" She pushes her way back into the ER area.

"Miss, please, let us work on him."…An older nurse grabbing her hand…"Come on, dear, I'll sit with you."

"I just want to know what's going on."

"I know you do, but you have to let the doctors do their job...so, is he your husband?"

"No."

"Well, you obviously care for him."

"He's my partner."

Ziva puts her face in her hands and starts to cry, the nurse hugs her tightly

"CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE! Bring in the crash cart!"

"TONYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"No pulse, doctor. He's in v-fib"

"Charge to 300. Clear!" The doctor places the paddles on Tony's chest and zaps him

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

"Clear!" the doctor zaps Tony's chest again

bloop...bloop...bloop...beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

"Charge to 360."….the nurse charges it to 360…."Once again...Clear!" the doctor zaps his chest once again

"I got a pulse, doctor!"

"Whew, great job everyone."

The older nurse walks out into the waiting room and nods to Ziva and smiles. "He's gonna be fine, Hun."

Ziva hugs her "Thank you." ...wiping the tears from her eyes..."Now, I'm gonna kill him."

Ziva and a doctor stands outside Tony's recover room, he's still unconscious.

"How is he, doctor?"

"He's in critical condition, he suffered multiple gunshot wounds...and.."

"Multiple? I only saw one."

"One of the bullets that entered his vest was hit again and it pushed it through the vest and into his body, it punctured his lung, but we were able to repair the damage. He's gonna be in a lot of pain and out of action for quite awhile."

A frustrated Ziva…"Anything else?"

"He suffered head damage, 14 stitches to close the gash on his forehead, he also has a concussion, so we've placed him in a medically induced coma hoping the swelling goes down. The next 12 hours are critical"

"Can I see him?"

"Yes, for a little while."

Ziva walks in, Tony lies silent, his breathing is shallow, he's hooked up to numerous machines, they seem to beep in unison. Ziva grabs Tony's hand and holds it.

Ziva clears her throat…"Hey, Tony..."…She grips his hand tighter..."Can you hear me, Tony?"...she wipes tears from her eyes..."Don't die on me, Tony."

A nurse walks in. "Sorry, I thought no one was in here. I'll give you a couple more minutes."

"Tony...I have to tell you something."...She move her mouth to his ear and whispers in his ear...she then kisses him on the cheek. She leans back, wiping her tears away once more and leaves the room.

Gibbs walks into the elevator and his cell rings

"His name is Martin Bastion, Gibbs. He's a known arms dealer working out of S. Africa and Europe. Chatter about him seems to lead to a French group called, _Le Grenouille."_

"Good work, Abs."

"Do you know how Tony is doing?"

"Nope, Ziva went with him, but when you find out, let me know."

Click

Gibbs steps out of the elevator and walks towards his desk.

"Boss, he's in interrogation room 1." Gibbs changes directions as McGee quickly gets up from his desk and follows him.

Gibbs walks into the interrogation room, McGee goes into observation.

The bald man sits in interrogation #1, in noticeable pain.

"So, Martin Bastion is it?"

"You know my name, but I don't know yours."

"Special Agent Gibbs."

"Nice to meet you, Special Agent Gibbs."

"Who do you work for?"

"No one, I was attack by some brute...and believe me, I'm going to sue."

"Who do you work for?"

"Are you deaf, Special Agent Gibbs?"

"Who do you work for?"

"You must be"

"I'm only asking one more time"

"What, are you threatening me?"

Gibbs puts his hands on top of the table and stands up..."Do you want me to threaten you?"

"I want a lawyer."

"We're all out of lawyers"

"I have rights, ya know?"

"Dirtbags like you do have rights, the right to get your ass kicked."

Gibbs grabs the table and forces it left and looks down at his knee.."ooh, that must hurt...I've never been shot in the knee before."

"What are you doing?"

"McGee, bring me a phone book."

"You can't be serious!?"

"A thick one, McGee."

Gibbs walks back to his chair and sits.

"What are you doing?"

Gibbs just sits there staring at his knee.

"You're a psycho."

McGee opens the door and walks inside. "Here you go, boss." ..handing him the yellow pages.

"Nice choice, McGee."

"You can't, you're the law. You can't do this!"

Gibbs stands up, walks towards Martin Bastion, points at him, then the yellow pages.

"You won't do it."

Gibbs nails him in the knee as hard as he can swing.

He screams and falls off his chair.

"I really have to work on my follow through"…as he's about to hit him again

"Stop! I'll talk."

Gibbs stops..."Well?"

"I work for...the IRA"

Gibbs hits his knee again. "Wrong answer!"

He screams again.

"I can do this all day...McGee, get me some coffee."

"Stop! Stop! I...work for this French guy..."

"Go on"

"I...I...I've never even met him yet. He's in the market for something big."

"La Grenouille?"

Looking shocked..."How did you know that name!?"

Gibbs hits him again in the knee with the phone book "Want some more?"

Martin Bastion Screams…"What do want from me!?"

"Where's Jeanne Benoit?"

"The psycho American asked about her, too and like I told him, I don't know who she is."

Gibbs hits him in the knee once more

"I don't know who that is, damn it!"

"I don't think I believe you."

"It's the truth. Talk to the other guys."

"Can't, they're all dead."

Gibbs is about to hit him again when...Director Shepard walks in...

"Jethro, that's enough!"

"I need some coffee, anyway"

Gibbs walks out...

Gibbs answers his cell

"Gibbs, I need you down here. I have something to show you."

Gibbs arrives in Abby's Lab

"What do you have, Abby?

"Tony's DNA was on the bullet that Ducky pulled from the duct taped body, we still haven't identified him...so, whoever shot him, shot it right through Tony's shoulder."

"That's one helluva shot."

"And get this, I sent all the DNA samples through CODIS and one came back as being closed and the files have been erased."

"Odd...anything else?"

"Yes, the two bullets from Martin Bastion's knee were from Tony's weapon...so, its possible Tony may no more than we know."

"Good work, Abby."

"You think it would be alright to go visit Tony?"

"Yeah, go ahead, but take McGee with you."

Abby and McGee arrive at the hospital

"We're here to see Tony DiNozzo."…Abby says with a smile, McGee stands behind her with boutique of black roses.

The nurse types in his name on the computer. "Sorry, he's not in the computer...are you sure you have the right hospital?"

"McGee! Did you take me to the right place?"

"Yes, Abby, this is where Ziva told me where he was."

"Can you look again, Ma'am. Thanks."

She tries again. "I'm sorry, he was here, but he's been release from the hospital."

"What!?"

"Yes, he was signed out by his doctor."

"What is the name of his doctor? Can I speak to them?"

"Ummm, lets see, the doctors name was Caitlin Todd."

Tony is shown in a hospital bed in what seems to be in the back of a moving truck, he's still unconscious. A person in a hooded sweater sits beside him. His IV is still in, it's bouncing around. A hand goes to his forehead, holding a wash cloth, their fingernails are painted pink.

Gibbs answers his cell

"Boss, we have some bad news."

"What is it, McGee."

"I dunno how to say this, but Tony is gone."

"Tony's dead?" Gibbs lowers his head, his hand covering his face

"Dead?" McGee looking confused ...Abby quickly takes the phone..."Gibbs, he's missing, not dead, but he could be dead. Oh my god, Gibbs, he could be dead." Abby starts to panic.

"Abby, where are you?"

"Oh, please, don't let him be dead. Please, please, please."

"Abby!"

"Yeah, Gibbs?"

"Where are you?"

"We're at the hospital."

"Stay there, I'll be right there. Oh, is Ziva there with you?"

"Nope, I haven't seen her since this morning."..."Tim said he heard from her about an hour ago. She was gonna check on something, but she didn't mention what."

"All right, I'll be there soon. Stay calm, Abby."

Abby hangs up..."Abby, you forgot to tell him about who signed him out."

Abby looks at McGee…"No, I didn't...that's not something I can tell him over the phone."

Ziva arrives at Tony's condo...she quickly picks the lock and goes inside, this is the first time she's ever been here without Tony.

She takes a few steps inside, checking his mail that's on a table by the front door, just bills and a letter from Paula Cassidy. She puts the letters down and walks into his living room.

For a bachelor, she was quite impressed with Tony, sure, he had the huge TV and the leather recliner, but it was very clean and sleek, something she found sexy. She sat in his chair, she could smell him on it, she felt at ease.

She rose and moved to the kitchen, she was shocked he actually had vegetables in his fridge and he even had those little wine coolers she always made him buy when she came over for movie night.

She wandered to his bedroom, the bed made perfectly, nothing out of place. She walked over to his dresser, she opened up his top drawer and saw a box of pictures, some of them when he was child, he didn't look happy at all, but some of him and Abby and of Kate.

"I would've liked to have known her."

Then there were some pictures of Ziva, zany-style pics of her sticking her tongue out at Tony or of her laughing.

"Tony, you made me laugh so hard my sides felt like they were gonna burst."

She puts the pictures back and sat on the end of his bed, then lied back.

"So, this is how it feels to be on the big D's bed, yes?" she chuckled

The look in her eyes screamed she wanted that more than anything.

Her phone rings.

Ziva answers her cell

"Ziva, get your ass over to the hospital, Tony is missing."

"What do you mean, Tony's missing, Gibbs? I just saw him 45 minutes ago."

"The hell I know, Abby and McGee are there now and he's gone."

"Alright, I'll meet you guys there."

click

"I cannot believe it, even when he's in a coma, he disappears…._Zdayen_

_Harah!"_

She leaves his condo.

Gibbs arrives at the hospital

"Gibbs, over hear!" Abby jumps up and down waving her hands.

Gibbs walks over to them .

"This is the doctor who was on call at the time, Gibbs."

"What happened doctor?"

"We're not sure, it seems he was released to his personal doctor."

"Personal doctor?"

"Gibbs, something screwy is going on."

"Why's that, Abby?"

"His personal doctor is...Caitlin Todd."

"What!? Doctor, do you have security tapes?"

"Of course, come this way."

They head into the security room

"Can you show me the footage from ICU from about 45 minutes ago?

The man rewinds the tape and it shows a woman in a doctor's scrubs.

"Anyone know who that is?"

"Nope." They all answer

"Can you zoom in on that ID tag?"

The man zooms in and it reads: "Caitlin Todd"

"That's definitely not Caitlin Todd."

"How do you know that?" the security man asked

"She's dead."

"Oh..."

"Can you make me a copy of this?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Abby, you and McGee take it back to lab and get to work on it. I want to know everything you can find out."

"On it, boss. Let's go, Abby."

They all start to walk out and they meet Ziva just coming in. "What's going on, guys...where's Tony?"

"No idea, some woman took him pretending to be Caitlin Todd." Gibbs quickly replied

"Tony's dead ex-partner?"

"Yes."

"What the hell is going on?"

"Find out."…Ziva just stands there…"Now!"

Tony is still in a hospital bed, the truck has stopped. Everything is still. The person in the hooded sweater is now injecting something into his IV.

The voice of a man is heard from behind..."What is that for?"

The person in the hooded sweater turns around, revealing herself to be Jeanne Benoit. "It's gonna bring him out of the coma."

"Is he secured?"

"Yes, but he's not going anywhere...he's badly hurt."

"Do not underestimate him...stick to the plan, my dear."

Gibbs and Ziva walk into Abby's lab

"What did you get off of that tape, Abby?"

"Not much, Gibbs. She basically just rolled out with him."

A very frustrated Ziva "Damn it, I should've stayed with him."

"Stop it, Ziva. It's no one fault, lets just find him...Abby, start going over everything again, maybe we missed something." Gibbs leaves.

Abby starts pulling out all evidence of the case onto the table. Ziva watches her like a hawk over her shoulder.

"A little room, please."

"Sorry, Abby...I just want to help."

"It's ok, I understand. Just stand over there."

Abby pulls out blood evidence and says, "Jeanne Benoit."

"What does she look like anyway, Abby?"

"Hmm, I don't know, let me pull it up through her hospital ID."

"That's her!"

"What? What's her?"

"The woman who rolled Tony out of the hospital."

"That's Jeanne Benoit? His so-called girlfriend kidnapped him?"

"Yeah, that's our Tony, always picking' the psychos."...Abby picks up the phone and calls Gibbs..."We got somethingGibbs."

A few minutes later Gibbs walks in

"What you got, Abby?"

"The woman who took Tony was his missing so-called girlfriend Jeanne Benoit."

"Again?"

"Oh my god, I totally forgot about that, Gibbs. That is so weird."

"Do I even want to know?" Ziva groaned

"No...what's her address, Abby."

"1920 S. Boulevard, apartment 202"

"Lets go, Ziva."

Tony starts to move, his mind is still not there, but slowly he's starting to come around.

Jeanne wipes his brow with a wash cloth..."You still have a fever, Tony."…in a worried voice.

"What are you doing?" the unknown man said..."Don't tell me you actually fell for him."

"No, he was my assignment...nothing more."

"Good." ...as he walks away...

She leans in..."That's not true...she sighs...I can't believe I fell in love with someone I'm suppose to kill."

Gibbs and Ziva arrive at the Jeanne Benoit's apartment...Gibbs kicks in the door...they walk inside to find nothing, the place is completely empty, it smells of new paint and bleach.

"What now, Gibbs?"

Gibbs shakes his head in disgust..."Tony is on his own..."

"You're just gonna give up!?"

Gibbs looks down at his cell phone, he hits it against his leg. "Damn thing won't stop making that damn noise." ...tossing it against the wall.

"Gibbs, I think you have a voicemail."

"A what?"

"Here, give me your phone."

Gibbs bends down, picking up his cell...then tosses it to Ziva.

"You do have a voicemail." ...she plays it: "Boss, he's not..."...a gunshot is heard and Tony moans, he's just been shot.

Tony's eyes flicker, trying to focus on anything, his hearing is distorted, he tries to make sounds, but nothing happens.

"Tony, can you hear me?"

The unknown man walks in, "It's time, Jeanne."

Jeanne takes out Tony's cell from her bag and speed dials Gibbs and places it on Tony's chest.

Gibbs cell rings...he looks at it and sees that it's from DiNozzo...he answers...light moaning is heard...

"Ziva, call McGee, tell him to track DiNozzo's phone"

Ziva calls…"McGee trace Tony's cell."

"He's got it, Gibbs...123 Cherrynut St."

"No, it can't be…"

"What, Gibbs?"

"No, God no."

Gibbs and Ziva are on their way to the location

"Are you going to tell me what's going on, Gibbs?"

"It can't be...it just can't be..."

"What the hell is it, Gibbs?"

"Now kill him, Jeanne."…the unknown man says..."And be quick about it."

Jeanne picks up a pillow smashes it down on Tony's face, busting his stitches open...she takes out her gun and fires 2 shots into the pillow...the pillow slowly soaks up the blood.

"Excellent, Jeanne...now, its time for you to die"

"What? I did what you said. Please, don't!"

The unknown man pulls out a gun and shoots Jeanne 3 times in the chest

She falls over Tony's body and lies there...laughter fills the truck, as the bed slowly becomes more and more blood soaked.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"…He stops, grabbing a rifle and loading it..."Gibbs, I hope you're harder to kill than Kate was."

Gibbs turns onto Cherrynut St.

Gibbs phone rings...

"It's DiNozzo, again."

"Hello, Special Agent Gibbs."

Gibbs slams on the breaks...

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What is it, Gibbs?" Ziva asks franticly

"It's ok, Special Agent Gibbs, put it on speaker phone...I'd love to talk to my so-called sister."

Gibbs puts it on speakerphone...

"How are you, Ziva? Have you missed me?"

"B...But, I killed you."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk...do you honestly think I would fall into that pathetic trap?"

"What do you want, Ari!?"

A sniper scope comes up..."All of you dead...first there was Kate, so sweet, so orgasmic...then DiNozzo, his death came too quickly...I wanted him to suffer more."

The scope's cross-hairs firmly on Gibbs' head...then he switches to Ziva..."So, who will be first, you decide."

"Shoot me first, Ari!"

"Awww, Gibbs, so brave, so tough...I think I'll shoot...Goodbye, Ziva."

He squeezes the trigger and the sound of a gunshot is heard.

The bullet passes though the brain, leaving a massive exit wound.

"When are you bad guys gonna learn, kill first, talk later...have you never seen a single episode of Batman?"

DiNozzo drops to his knees and grabs the bloody phone.

"Boss, I'm in a lot of pain and this bastard is bleeding on me...Can I go home?."

"Tony!" Gibbs and Ziva at same time

"Boss, this reminds me of the end of Lethal Weapon 2."

"DiNozzo?"

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Shut up."

"Shutting up, Boss."

"Oh, Ziva..."

"Yeah, Tony?"

"I love you, too."

Click


	2. Dragonskin

Tony lies on a bed, his eyes closed, his head completely healed.

The camera turns toward the bathroom, a naked Ziva walks past the door.

The camera turns quickly to Tony's face…Tony lets out a huge grin.

"Tony...want to wash my back?"

Tony leaps up, dashes into the shower and stands behind Ziva.

Ziva chuckles…"Good morning, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo"

"Indeed, Officer David."…as he starts to wash her back, taking in her scent…"God, you smell good."

"I love that honeydust you gave me."

"Heh.. Me, too." ...Tony drops the soap..."oops, I totally dropped the soap."

Ziva laughs..."let me get that."...bending down..

Ziva steps off the elevator into the squad-room..

"Good morning, Ziva."

"Same to you, McGee."

"How's Tony doing?"

"He's great"...She closes her eyes and thinks..."Really great."

"When is he suppose to be back?"

"In a couple weeks."

"I went over to his place yesterday, but I guess he wasn't home."

"We were there."

"You didn't answer."

"Sorry, Tim...we were busy."

"Aww, I see. Well, anyway, glad he's feeling better."

Gibbs walks in

"A Marine captain has been murdered at a drive-thru...Ziva, take McGee, Ducky will meet you down there."

Gibbs tosses the truck keys to Ziva.

"You're not coming, Gibbs?"

"Yeah, I'll meet you there...I need to do something first."

Ziva and McGee now in the truck…

'You know, you're a lot better...and safer driver now, Ziva."

"Yeah, Tony's been teaching me...I always thought yellow light meant speed up"

"You and Tony have been spending a lot of time with each other."

"Yeah, so?"

"Oh nothing, it's cool and all, it's just that I never see him anymore..."

"It's a new relationship, Tim...we're in the whole lot of sex stage."

"LALALALALALA, I don't want to hear about this...LALALALALA."

"Oh come on, McGee, who doesn't like sex?"

"You I'm fine with, but Tony?"

"He is called the big D for a reason, McGee."

"Oh great, I'm gonna have that image in my mind for the rest of my life."

Ziva laughs...

Gibbs is sitting in his car..

"Hey, Boss. Thanks for the ride."…Tony opens the door.

"You think you're ready to return, Tony?"

"Yeah, I'm going crazy at home during the day."

"It's only been month, Tony"

"Yeah, well...anyway, do we have a case?"

"Yeah, but you aren't going, you're on desk duty until the office shrink allows you to go back on full active duty."

"Oh come on, Boss...that sucks, you can't do anything?"

"It's directly from the director."

"heh...maybe I can talk Jenny out of it."

Gibbs shakes his head..."how close did you and director get anyway?"

"Do you really want to know, Boss?"

"On second thought..."

Gibbs drops off Tony and heads for the crime scene...

Tony walks into NCIS and takes the elevator down to Abby's lab

Abby is working at her computer, when Tony sneaks up behind her and covers her eyes with hands.

"Peek-a-boo, who is it?"

"TONYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" ...she turns around and hugs him..."I've missed you so much, Tony!"

"Thanks, Abs...how have you been?"

"I've been great." ...she Gibbs slaps him in the head...

"Hey! What was that for?"

"You should've called me!"

"I'm sorry, Abs, I thought Ziva was letting you know what was up."

"Oh, she has...but it would've been nice to hear your voice."

Tony hugs her..."You're a doll, Abs...well, I gotta go, I have to go talk to Jen, errr, the director."

Tony starts walking out when he picks up Bert and squeezes him..."FFFFAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRTTTTTTT"...

"heh...I love fart noises."

Abby laughs..."see ya later, Tony!"

Gibbs arrives at the fast food place, Ziva, McGee, Ducky and Palmer are all on the scene...Gibbs gets out and walks over to the car, inside is a man, in Marine dress clothes with no head."

"What we got, Ducky?"

"Our Marine Captain was decapitated, on site."

"TOD, Ducky?"

"Around 12 hours ago, Jethro."

"Know what was used to kill him?"

Ducky points out the cut around the neck, then at the large amount of blood and it's spray pattern, "Most likely a chainsaw or saw of some kind."

"Anything else you can tell me before you get him back to autopsy."

"He was caught unaware, he has no defensive marks, whatsoever."

"Possible drugging?"

"Could be, Jethro...I'll send everything I find to Abby."

Gibbs walks over to Ziva and McGee..."Tell me what you know."

"Found his wallet, Captain Marcus Phoenix."

"heh, like from Gears of War."

"Gears of War? What the hell is that?"

"Gears of War is a video game, Boss."

"Good ol' Elf Lord."

"Anyway, Boss, he was on vacation, started yesterday, first leave he's taken in 2 years."

"Bad luck. Anything else?"

"Found a receipt for a video rental place, he rented a couple movies last night at 8:13 p.m. So, going by Dr. Mallard's timeline, give or take 30 minutes after renting them, he died."

"Did you find the movies?"

"Nope, we were about to go to his house."

"Good, get on it."

Ziva and McGee take off for the Captain's home.

DiNozzo's phone rings

"What are you doing at work?"

"Hey, honey buns."

"Don't honey buns me. Why are you at work?"

"Oh god, something else I'll never forget."

"Zip it, Probie...been talkin' to Abby, I see...It was suppose to be a surprise, but I gotta do this stupid shrink think to get back on active duty."

"Don't rush yourself, Tony."

"I just need to be out of the house, you know that, sugar plums."

"Please turn off the speaker phone, I'm beggin' ya."

"Quite, McGee!"

"Sorry, McGee...the big D is in love. I can't help myself."

"That's ok, Tony, you are Tony after all."

"What's that suppose to mean, Probie?"

"You know what he means, Tony, you're a sex crazed maniac."

"Yeah, so, what's wrong with that?"

McGee thinks for a minute..."I got nothing"

"McGee, plug your ears."

"Why, Tony?"

"Just do it."

"Does he have his ears plugged, Ziva?"

"Yes..."

"I love you, baby."

"Awwwww, that was sweet, kit kat."

"Kit kat?"

"Shut up, I'm not good at this lovey-dovey stuff."

"Apparently not, sweet cheeks. Later."

click

"Can I pull my fingers out yet?"

Ziva grabs his arm, "yes, Tim."

"What was that about?"

"Sex, Tim...all sex.."

"Figures..."

Tony walks into Director Shepard's office.

"Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo reporting for duty."

"Close the door and sit down, Tony." Tony closes the door and sits, as she grabs a file from a drawer and sits down...she puts on her glasses and opens up the file..."how are you, Tony?"

"Jenny, I know what you want. I still have _La Grenouille _on my mind, I can still do this."

"I'm pulling you, Tony."

"You can't."

"You got too deep and you almost got killed for it."

"Totally different circumstance, Jenny and you know it. I worked my ass off for this...that was a frickin' setup"

"I'm sorry, Tony."

"Great, first I'm off active duty and now this."

"There's something else, Tony."

"What?"

"You're leaving Gibbs team. You're finally getting your own team."

"What? Why?"

"You know why."

"Because of Ziva?

"Yes...believe me Tony, this is for the best."

"No, I won't leave. Gibbs still needs me and I'm not leaving Ziva."

"I am sorry, Tony...your new command will be in Rota, Spain."

"...and if I don't take it?"

"Then you'd be done with NCIS."

"Are you serious?"

"I am...and it's my final decision."

"Is this about me and you?"

"What do you mean, about me and you...what we had was casual."

"Casual?"

"Yes, it was only sex...you had no feelings towards me."

"Says who?"

"Why are you making this difficult?"

"I cared about you...you're the one who broke it off, because Gibbs came back."

"Tony, you know that's not true."

"Of course, it is...what day did you call and tell me we couldn't see each other anymore? Huh?"

She's silent...

"Hell, you pushed me away...and I did everything you asked me, I didn't quit on you, I stayed through it all. You think I liked having people think the only reason I got to be team leader is because my boss quit? Hell, McGee gave me crap about when Gibbs came back and how I lost my job. It made me look weak."

She's still silent...

"You know what, I don't need this...call me when you actually want a damn good agent who actually wants to do his damn job, until then, you can take that promotion and shove it." Tony walks out of Director Shepard's office…slamming the door on the way out...

---------------------

---------------------

Tony's cell phone rings as soon as he slammed the door...he looks down at it, it reads: "Jenny"

Tony whistles..."Hey"...Director Shepard's secretary looks up as Tony tosses her the phone. "It's for you." …as Tony walks out.

McGee and Ziva arrive at Captain Phoenix's house.

They knock on the front door and a little girl answers it.

Ziva kneels..."Hello, dear...is your mommy home?" The little girl turns and runs away, a teenage girls comes past her."

"She die a couple years ago." McGee puts his hand over his face, lowering his head..

Ziva stands..."I have some bad news."

"My father's dead, isn't he?"

"Yes, I'm sorry...did you have any reason to believe he was in trouble?"

Emotions start hitting the teenager. "He seemed distant lately and he started carrying his gun everywhere. Even to just go and eat."

McGee steps forward, "What's your name? How old are you?"

"Megan. I'm 15."

"...and how many siblings do you have?"

"Just the one, Sienna's 4."

"Do you have any relatives nearby?"

"Nope, we do have a grandma in Indiana."

McGee turns to Ziva, "I'll call CPS."

Ziva nods..."Hun, did your father rent you any movies last night?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"It's not important. Can you pack a bag, you need to come with us."

"They're gonna meet us at NCIS, Ziva."

Megan comes back with a duffel bag.

"Are you guys ready to go?"

"I think so." As Megan picks up Sienna. She walks forward to pick up the bag, but McGee stops her.

"I'll get that." McGee picks up the bag as they leave through the front door."

Ziva takes out her phone and calls Gibbs, "Gibbs, we're at Captain Phoenix's house, he has 2 daughters, both under 16. We're bringing them to NCIS." ...she listens to him..."Yeah, that's right. Ok, gotcha."

Gibbs hangs up his phone...he heads into the morgue..."what you got, Ducky."

"Awww, Jethro...he was drugged, he had enough horse tranquilizer in him to kill 5 horses." Ducky points out a syringe mark on the Captain's arm..."I sent trace under his fingernails and blood to Abby."

"What's with that ugly scar there." Pointing to his leg

"That is indeed odd, it looks as if healed numerous times. Like he keeps opening up before it completely heals."

"He a sadist?"

"Could be, Jethro...but I doubt he cut off his own head."

"Ya think, Ducky?"

Ducky chuckles, "Although there was this one time, in was in Scotland, this man was shaving his sheep..." Gibbs stops him..

"Keep me informed." As Gibbs leaves the room.

Ducky looks down at the body..."Aww, Captain, poor lad...I hate to meet you like this, but I'll take care of you...I'm sorry we didn't find your head, but Gibbs will, don't worry."

Ziva calls Tony..."why isn't Tony answering?" I've called him 4 times in the last 20 minutes."

"Who's Tony?" Megan asked

"He's my...boyfriend.."

"What, that the first time you've said that, Ziva?"

"Yeah, I guess it is, McGee."

"I dunno, maybe he's in with the NCIS psychiatrist."

"That's probably true."

"Tell me about Tony." Megan leans forward

Ziva turns around, "Oh, he's just an average guy."

"I doubt that, you seemed really worried about him."

"Well, he's just coming off some injuries."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's ok." ..patting her on the head... "he's a good man."

"I bet he's great...he has you, doesn't he?"

"Aww, that's sweet..."

"Wow, you're such a girl now, Ziva."

"I know, it's weird isn't it?"

"You have no idea."

Ziva, McGee and the girls walk into the NCIS office.

"Sit here, it's Tony's desk."

Megan sits in Tony's chair and pulls up another for Sienna.

"Do you have a picture of Tony?"

"Oh sure, one sec"...Ziva goes to her desk and pulls out her purse."

"You have a purse now, Ziva?"

"It's not a purse, McGee...ok, maybe it is." she rumbles through her purse. "Oh, I found them."

"The great Ziva David is officially a woman."

"Do you want this woman to break your arm, McGee. In 17 places?"

"No, that's ok. I'll shut up now."

Ziva walks over to Tony's desk and show Megan a picture of Tony.

"Wow, he's a hottie."

"Oh god, here we go again."

Ziva gives McGee an evil look

McGee brings his fingers up to his lips and makes a locking motion

"Do you think I'll get to meet him?"

"I'm sure, he's suppose to be here."

The elevator beeps and Abby comes out

"Guys..." she stops mid-sentence, seeing the kids..."hey, who are these kids? I love kids. Anyway, guess what? Tony got fired or something. I can't believe it. What's going on? Things are crazy. Gibbs is upstairs talking to the director. I hope it's not true. Please, don't be true."

"Abby, what do you mean Tony got fired!?" Ziva grabs Abby's hands

McGee rises from his desk, "Tony got fired? He just got back today."

A very angry looking Ziva starts toward the stairs, "McGee watch the girls!"

"Uh, oh..." Abby says while biting her fingernail

McGee sits down..."Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned..."

Meanwhile, in the morgue.

Ducky walks into his morgue, walks over to his desk and picks up a chart and realizes one of the morgue drawers is slightly open...he walks over to it and opens it.

Tony is inside, wearing his shades.

"Mr. DiNozzo, what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Just looking for a place to think, Ducky."

"You picked quite a unique place, my boy."

"Just some place, I would be alone."

"I know the feeling, you're not the first to think of this."

"Yeah, I saw it in a movie."

"I figured, as much...so, what are you thinkin' about, Tony?"

"My life...what I want to do...death...sex...you know, the usual."

"Well, I'll let you be then." starts to close the drawer..

"Hey, Duck, is it better to stay and fight or move on to greater pastures?"

"Tony, choose which will make YOU happiest in the end."

"Thanks, Ducky."

Ducky closes the drawer...

Inside the Director's office….

"You don't even care about him, Gibbs."

"What? He's the best agent I've ever trained."

"What does that have to do with caring?"

"I have to be tough on DiNozzo, I'm training him to be my replacement. My job is not for the weak-hearted, Jen."

"That's non-sense, Jethro."

"Tony can take it, he's tough."

"I offered him his own team once, but he turned it down, because he was worried about you. Can't say the same about you."

Gibbs thinks for a second..."He turned down his own team? DiNozzo?"

"Yes, Gibbs, he did."

"Damn it, Jen. You actually think I don't care about Tony?"

"The man nearly died from the plague, the frickin' plague, Jethro."

"So, just because I don't baby him, I don't care about him?"

"Who else do you treat like Tony? Not a damn one."

Gibbs sighs..."I can see myself in him...Frank did the exact thing to me and I came out all right."

"He's not you, Jethro. When are you going to realize that!?"

"So, because of this, you're making him take his own team?"

"There's more to it...there's the whole thing with Ziva."

"What about it? Me and you were together as partners. I don't think it's smart, but hell, it was fun while it lasted."

"There's me and DiNozzo."

"What...then the scuttlebutt was true?"

"Yes, Jethro...and if it makes you happy, I broke up with him because of you coming back."

"Why?"

"I don't know.." she sighs..

The very angry Ziva walks toward Director Shepard's door...

"Hey, wait, you can't go in there..."...Ziva turns to the secretary..."...uh, umm, go right in..."

Ziva busts through the door. "What in hell is going on?"

Gibbs moves toward Ziva. "Down, Ziva...down..."

"Gibbs, please get out of my way."

Gibbs puts his hand on Ziva's shoulder..."give me your weapons, Ziva. ALL OF THEM!"

"It's for everyone's own good, Ziva."

"You're not helping, Jen."

Ziva trying to force her way past Gibbs..."Damn it, Ziva, give me your weapons...NOW!"

"Fine"...Ziva pulls her gun, then her back up, then her knife, then another knife...

"Now sit down."

"Come on, Gibbs...you hold her and I'll break her arms."

Gibbs slaps Ziva on the back of the head..."I said sit down!"

Ziva grabs a rubber band from her pocket and pulls her hair back into a ponytail...Gibbs steps in front of her..

"I'll take care of this Ziva. I promise."

Ziva hands Gibbs the sharpened hair clip she had just taken from her hair.

"I trust you, Gibbs." ...as she turns and leaves through the doorway.

She walks down the steps

"Everything alright, Ziva?"

"Yeah, McGee, I'm gonna go look for Tony."

"You want me to go with you?"

"No thanks."

Ziva goes to her desk and grabs another one of her back up guns and puts it in her holster.

She walks toward the elevator...the elevator door opens...Ducky walks out..

"Aww, my dear...if you're looking for Tony, check the morgue...drawer # 7 and no, he's not dead."

"Thanks, Ducky." ..as she steps onto the elevator...she arrives at the morgue and walks through the door.

She walks over to drawer and starts to open it.

"What's up, Duck...oh, it's you. "

"What are you doing' in there?"

"Just thinking about stuff."

"There enough room in there for another?"

"To do what?" Tony cracks a grin

Ziva laughs..."You'd love that wouldn't you?"

"Heh, it would be different...that's for sure."

Ziva bends down and kisses him...then places her hands on the drawer, lifting herself up and lies next to him...

"Why are you wearing your sunglasses?"

"...'cus they make me look cool."

Ziva takes them off and puts them on herself.."...so, am I cool now?"

"No, just beautiful and sexy and good with weapons."

Ziva laughs..."Stop it."

"heh, well, you are better at some things...like when you do that thing.."

"Tony?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

"Shutting up and kissing you..."

Tony grabs the top of drawer and pulls it closed...

Ducky walks back into his morgue...the sound of metal clanking is heard...

"Oh good heavens...get a room you two."

The metal clanking stops..."Technically, it is a room, Ducky, it has 4 sides and a door."

"What are you doing, Tony?"

"Talking to Ducky."

"Why?"

"I didn't want to be impolite."

"Tony...less talking...more doing..." The metal clanking starts again

"Sorry, babycakes..."

"Awww, to be young again."

ding...Gibbs gets off the elevator..

"DiNozzo!?"

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Where you at?

"#7, Boss."

"Jethro...he has someone with him."

"In an morgue drawer?"

"Indeed, he has quite the imagination."

"...and you've been listening to them?"

"It's the best sex I've had in years."

Gibbs does a double take..."What?"

Ducky and Gibbs both head toward the elevator "Oh, it seems our Mr. DiNozzo is quite the..."elevator door closes

the elevator re-opens..."Oh, Tony?"

"Yeah, Boss?"

"You have your job back, but you still have to do the shrink."

"Do the shrink, Boss?"

"Shut up, Tony."

"Shutting up, Ziva.

Gibbs and Ducky on the elevator, "She really said that about Tony? Our Tony? ..shakes head in disbelief...

ding...the elevator door closes...

Ziva's phone rings..."ugh.'

"Just answer it."

"I have no idea where my phone is."

"Here, let me reach for it."

"Tony, that isn't my phone."

"heh, I know...hey, I found it..."..click ..."Ziva's phone, may I ask who's calling?"

"When you two are done grab-assin' get your asses up here, you have 5 minutes."

"Come on, Gibbs."

"Ok, make that 4 minutes."

click

"Well, that was fun."

Tony and Ziva both ride up the elevator...Ziva's hair is a mess, it's everywhere, her top is buttoned wrong and she's missing a shoe. Tony smacks her butt and hands her her shoe. He's dressed perfectly, even his tie is perfectly straight. She moves behind him, staying out of sight, trying to get her shoe on.

"How Tony? You're wearing more than me...and you were completely naked in there."

"Yeah, I know, man was it cold."

Tony turns around and fixes the buttons on her blousse.

"There you go...it's a gift...here, I have your rubber band, turn around and I'll fix your hair." ...Ziva turns around and Tony pulls her hair back and into a pony tail..."you ready?"

She smiles and nods and they step out of the elevator

"Tony, the Director wants to see you."

"I don't really feel like going up there, Boss."

"Just go see her."

"If you say so, Boss."

Tony heads upstairs as Ziva rejoins everyone in the squad room.

"Tony, wait a second."

"Yeah, Boss?"

Gibbs walks over towards Tony..."Let me say something before you go...Thanks, Tony."

"For what, Boss?"

"Sticking with me...through everything, I know I can be a bastard."

"What's this all about, Gibbs?"

"Just what Jen said to me, it made me feel like I take you for granted. I don't Tony."

"It's ok, Boss. I know why you do the things you do."

"Oh, one last thing Tony. If you ever do what you just did at work again, I'm kicking both of your asses, you got it?"

"Got it, Boss."

Gibbs slap Tony in the back of head

"heh, I've missed that, Gibbs."

Gibbs chuckling..."Yeah, well, I've missed doing it, DiNozzo."

Tony walks into Director Shepard's office

"You wanted to see me, Ma'am?"

"Tony...I just don't want to see you hurt."

"Ma'am?"

"Stop the Ma'am-ing, Tony. Talk to me."

"Why should I? You acted like a complete and total bitch to me."

"I know I did...and I'm sorry."

"How was sending me away from here, from the people I care about helping me? That would hurt me more than anything."

"I over reacted, Tony...and maybe, just maybe...I'm a little jealous of what you and Ziva have now."

"That's your own fault."

"I know that...so, please forgive me."

"I'll think about it, Ma'am."

"Tony..."

"It's ok, Jenny." ...walks towards her..."permission to hug, Director Shepard?"

"Granted." They hug..

"That perfume...it's one I bought you is, isn't it. You smell delicious."

Jenny laughs..."why you're here, take Ziva's weapons back to her"...she hands them to Tony.

"Jenny..."

"Yes, Tony?"

"Never say you're sorry, it's a sign of weakness." He gives her a wink, then leaves...

Tony now in the squad room, hands Ziva back her weapons...

"Toda"

"Eya davar."

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, is Tony speaking Hebrew?"

"Learning it, Probie."

"I have a bad habit of speaking Hebrew in bed, McGee...so, Tony wants to learn exactly what I'm saying."

"Why do you care, Tony?"

"I'm a thoughtful lover, McCheesy...that and I want to know if I'm good or not. Heh.."

"Tov!"

"Ummm, Ani zakuk lerofe?"

Ziva laughs..."You just told me you needed a doctor."

"Heh...I'm still learning!"

"McGee, where are the girls? Megan wanted to meet Tony."

"They're in interrogation #2."

"Who's Megan?"

"She's a 15 old, whose father we're investigating, he was beheaded at a drive-thru."

"Ouch, does she know?"

"Yeah, they both know."

"Both?"

"Yeah, she has a 4 yr. old sister."

"That's awful...what's her name?"

"Sienna."

Gibbs walks in, "We're going to the marine base, so gear up...except you DiNozzo, you're report to the shrink pronto."

"What about the girls, Gibbs?"

"Don't worry, Ziva, I'll watch them when I'm done with the head doctor."

Gibbs looks at him, "Are you sure, Tony?"

"Yeah, kids love me!"

Everyone chuckles except Ziva

"At least I have one on my side."

"Now behave, Tony and if you're a good boy, I'll bring you back a surprise."

"I like surprises!"

Jenny walks out of her office..."Special Agent DiNozzo?"

"Yeah?"

"You forgetting something?" ...holding up his cell phone...

"Oh, I totally forgot about that." Tony runs upstairs, as the others start to leave.

"You might want to get your number changed, someone keeps calling for Spanky."

"Damn...again?"

"Huh?"

"Nevermind..."

Tony arrives at interrogation room #2 holding a bag...and he knocks on the door and opens it.

"Hey, I'm Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, but you may call me Tony."

"Hey, you're Ziva's boyfriend, right?"

"That would be me...she told me you wanted to meet me?"

"Yeah, where's Ziva?"

"She had to go out, I'm gonna be watching you guys for awhile, if that's ok."

"S..sure, I guess."

Sienna hides behind Megan's leg.

Tony kneels..."Hi, you must be Sienna, I'm Tony." ...he holds out his hand…"It's ok, I don't bite"...with Megan's urging she reaches out her hand and Tony shakes it, "It's nice to meet you, Sienna...you, as well, Megan."

"Nice to meet you, too." ..Megan tries to get Sienna to say something, but she doesn't.

"Ok, I have to do something for a bit, but I'm all yours thereafter."

"Really?"

"Yep, we can play a game, I can give you the famous DiNozzo tour, or whatever you wanna do."

Tony puts the bag on the table..."Here are some sandwiches, cookies and milk, I'll be back in 15 to 20 minutes, ok?"

"Thank you, Tony." Tony gives her a wink, stands up and leaves

Tony now outside the shrinks office.

"Well, this is gonna suck..."

"Special Agent DiNozzo, please sit down...I'm Dr. Gillian."

Tony sits, "Hello."

"You're here to see if you're ready to go back on active duty."

"Yup."

"How have you been since your injuries?"

"I'm great."

"Nothing further to add?"

"Nope."

"All your answers seem to be short."

"I prefer precise."

"Ok, so...let me ask you about Jeanne Benoit."

"What about her?"

"How are you coping with her death?"

"I feel sad about it, but at the same time, she kidnapped me, so I also feel like she got what she deserved."

"You two had a sexual relationship?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"We're trying to judge your state of mind."

"Yes, we had a sexual relationship."

"You've had a lot of sexual relationships, haven't you?"

"I suppose"

"Do you feel your job neglects you from having a steady relationship?"

"No."

"That's right, you're in a relationship with Ziva David, correct?"

"Yes."

"Would you call it a steady relationship?"

"Yes."

"You've also had a sexual relationship with the NCIS director Jen Shepard?"

"No comment."

"How about Special Agent Caitlin Todd?"

"What about her?"

"How did you feel when she died?"

"...like a piece of me died."

"You had a sexual relationship with her, as well?"

"No comment."

"It's safe to say, most of women in your life you've grown close to you, have left you in some way?"

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Well, let me ask it another way...are you scared Ziva will leave you, as well?"

"No comment."

"Is it true Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs abuses you?"

"Absolutely not."

"He doesn't smack you in the back of the head or belittle you in front of other teammates?"

"Absolutely not."

"Are you afraid to die?"

"No."

"Why?"

"We all gotta go at some time."

"How did you feel when you shot Ari Haswari?"

"Happy. Closure."

"Why?"

"He deserved to die."

"So, you were his Judge and Executioner?"

"Yes."

"What gave you that right?"

"The safety and well being of my fellow teammates."

"Did his death accomplish that?"

"Yes."

"Did Special Agent Caitlin Todd's death waiver on your decision."

"No."

"One last question...do you think you're a good agent?"

"Yes."

"Ok, thank you for coming, Special Agent DiNozzo."

Tony gets up and leaves...and heads back towards interrogation room #2, he stops and leans his forehead against a wall...

"Shalom, Kate..."

Gibbs and the team arrive at the military research facility...they are brought to the United States Army supervisor on the project, Lt. Colonel Blake Jensen.

"Special Agent Gibbs, Ziva and McGee...we'd like to ask you a few questions about Marine Captain Marcus Phoenix."

"His death shocked us all, Agent Gibbs. Anything I can do to help, I will."

"Did he have any enemies?"

"Absolutely not, everyone loved him. He always bought coffee and donuts for the men every morning. God, I forgot about his girl..."

"Don't worry...we got them." ...he lets out a sigh of relief..."Was he seeing anyone?"

"Not that I'm aware, his life was his job and it's daughters."

Ziva asks, "His daughter said he was really jumpy lately, started carrying his gun everywhere."

"I never realized anything was wrong, especially something that bad...yesterday he was extremely happy he was going on vacation, he was taking his daughters to an amusement park in Florida."

"What exactly were you working on here?"

"It's a prototype new armor codename: "Dragonskin"...it can stop a sniper bullet from a .50 cal rifle, not even a hand grenades shrapnel can get through it."

"What was Captain Phoenix role?"

"He was the senior tester."

"Are you missing any files or prototypes?"

"I'll have to check on the files, but no prototypes are missing, we only had 2 and they're right here Agent Gibbs." ...pointing to them.

"McGee, check their files, see if everything is in order, etc."

"On it, Boss."

"Ziva, talk to all the tester, see if you can anything from them." She heads off...

"Thanks, Colonel Jensen."

Tony goes into interrogation #2

"Hey, Tony."

"Hey, Megan...sorry about that, it took a little longer than I thought."

"That's ok."

"So, what will it be?"

"How about the tour?"

"Sure...hey..."...Tony kneels, "how about I carry you on my shoulders Sienna?" ..Tony holds out his hand..

Sienna walks over to him and he lifts her and places her on his shoulders.

"Ok, here we go..."

"Do I leave my bag?"

"No, I'll carry it." ...Tony picks up the bag..."now stay on my six, Megan."

"Huh?"

"Oh, sorry, stay behind me." ...she nods and they leave the room...

"Ok, that was an interrogation room, that's where we...Megan?

"Interrogate people?"

"ding...ding...you just won yourself an ice cream."

Tony now takes them to Director Shepard's office..

"See here, this is the head boss of NCIS, her name is Jenny."

"Hey, kids...what are you doing, DiNozzo?"

"Oh, just giving them a tour...so, Director Shepard, am I getting a raise soon?"

"Tony!"

"Come on kids, does Tony deserve a raise?"

"YEAH!"

"ding...ding...add another ice cream...ok, it's time to go..."

They walk out Shepard's office and Tony points at spot by MTAC, Junior Field Agent McGee once puked right there on a Halloween, too much sweetarts."

"Ewwww..."

"I know...and to think, you didn't even see it..." ...shivers..

Tony now looking down, see that desk there?

"The one McGee was sitting at?"

"Yeah, McGee's head has been super-glued to it twice."

"That must've hurt."

"Probably, it certainly looked painful"

Tony and girls are now in Abby's lab

"Hey, Abs." Tony hands her a caf-pow..

"Awww...thanks, Tony and I didn't get you anything."

"You wouldn't have to have anymore of the ice cream, would ya?"

"I sure do, I'll get it for ya."

"Thanks, Abs."

"Tony walks over and grabs Bert and hands it up to Sienna." She squeezes it. (farts)

Sienna laughs..."so, she can talk, huh?" as Tony lifts her off his shoulders and places her on the stool next to Megan.

"You're really good with kids, Tony." As Abby hands him the ice cream

"Shhh, don't tell anyone." Tony pulls 4 sporks out of his pocket...handing them out to everyone.

"Do I want to know why you have sporks in your pocket?"

"...'cus sporks rule, that's why."

Abby shakes her head..."You just ain't right."

They all eat their ice cream...

"So, now what do you want to do?"

"Sienna likes to play makeup."

Tony looks confused, "What's that?"

"It's where she puts makeup on someone, usually me."

"You think you'd want to do that Abby?"

"I'm sorry, Megan, I can't today, I'm awful busy."

"I'll do it."

"Really?...you'd let Sienna put makeup on you, Tony?"

"Sure, it'll come off, right?"

"I dunno about this Tony." Abby said having a worried look on her face

"Go ahead, I'm stuck on desk work anyway."

"Ok, before you gals start, if you're gonna do it, you should go all out."

"heh...do your worst Abs."

Abby pulls out her makeup kit, her BIG one..."I'm sorry, Tony."

They start putting makeup on Tony."

"Now, what's this called?"

"It's eyeshadow, Tony."

"Oh...and that?"

"That's mascara."

"What color lipstick should we give him, Abby?"

"Definitely black."

"I thought you were awful busy, Abs?"

Abby lets out an evil laugh..."..not anymore and this is fun."...she giggles..

Megan thinks to herself..."I think he needs a few hair clips, Abby."

"I do?"

They put hair clips in Tony hair and Sienna puts powder on his face.

"What, are you turning me into, a clown?"

"No, worse..." as Abby lets out another evil laugh

"Oh, I have something perfect..."...Megan starts searching though her bag...she starts placing ideas from her bag onto the table.

"Hey, is that a new game or something?" Tony points at a square box with a name: "Dragonskin" on it.

"I dunno, it's my dads."

"Aww, too bad, I wanted to make McGee jealous."

"Oh well, I can't find it." Megan returns her items to her bag and zips it up.

"Am I done?"

"Almost, Tony." ...as Abby finishes up working on the lips.

"Wow, Abby, it's kind of scary...if he had longer hair."

"I see what you mean..."

"I don't want to look do I?" Tony said in a depressing tone

"You look bootiful." Sienna blurted out.

"Awww, she's adorable. I want kids, Tony."

"With me?"

"Sure."

"What?"

"I'm kidding, but I'm not...you would be a good dad..."

"Ok, you're done, Tony...close your eyes and we'll take you to a mirror."

Tony stands up and closes his eyes...Abby grabs one arm and Megan grabs the other and led him to a mirror.

"Ok, Tony...open your eyes!"

Tony opens his eyes..."Hey there, Abby"

"What Tony?"

Tony looks to his left and sees Abby then back forward, then back to his left, then back to the mirror..."Holy crap...I look like you."

The girls laugh

"Hey, am I the only one who's a little worried about the fact I look like you, minus the hair."

"You've got great skin, Tony."

"I do...don't I?...Hey, stop it!"

"All you need now is a dog collar."

"heh...you got one to fit me?"

"I should...let me look."

"One thing, why is my face all white, yours isn't like that?"

"Sienna went a little over board."

"Man, I look like you, Abby."

Abby puts a collar on Tony..."...your new name is Tabby."

"Tabby?"

"Don't touch your face, Tony...you're smudging your makeup."

"Sorry...hey, I got an idea...how about I take your place when Gibbs and everyone gets back and we scared the crap out of them?"

"Brilliant idea, Tabby...brilliant."

The elevator beeps

"Hurry everyone, into my office!" Abby, Megan and Sienna run into Abby's office and hide.

"Tony get at the keyboard, slouch some and put on that long lab coat.." ...Tony puts on the lab coat, slouches as much as he can and turns off the light.

The elevator beeps and the door opens

"Hey Abby, why's the light out?"

"I have a headache, Gibbs."

"You sound weird, Abby, you catching a cold?"

Gibbs walks over to Tony sitting at computer and puts his hand on his shoulder. "What you got, Abs?"

Tony turns around...Gibbs jumps back..."what the...?"...as Abby runs out from her office.

"DiNozzo!? Are you freakin' kidding me?"

"its name is actually Tabby." Abby laughs.

"Sorry, Boss."

"I'm scared, DiNozzo...please tell me you haven't seen the shrink yet."...shakes head and lets out a laugh

Tony takes off the lab coat and picks up Sienna and puts her on his shoulder again..."Shall we continue the tour?"

Megan nods and they step into the elevator.

"Please tell me that wasn't DiNozzo's idea."

"He let the girls put makeup on him, he was just keeping them company...and I...umm, help."

Gibbs lets out a chuckle, "I see that."

Anyway, what did you find out?

"The skin samples under his fingernails were his own...the blood sample came back with high traces of horse tranquilizer, but you already knew that. Sorry, Gibbs."

Tony and the girls get off the elevator on the squad room floor.

A shocked McGee...just sits and watches as they walk by.

A tired Ziva walks with her head down

"Hey, baby..." as they walk by.

Ziva looks up and back, "Tony?"

Tony walks down the hallway, heading toward the psyche-area.

"Oh, Dr. Gillian?"

Turning around in her chair..."Yes, may I hel..."

"Hey girls, do you think I should be put back on active duty?"

"YEAH!"

"Sorry, girls...I'm all out of ice cream. How about caf-pow?"

"Sure."

"Then off we go." As a very confused Ziva walks behind them...

"Tony?"

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?'

"Beverage break...is it alright if Ziva joins us, girls?"

"That would be great."

"Know any songs, girls?"

Megan starts to sing, "we're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of the oz."

Tony offers Ziva and Megan an arm and they skip their way to the break area.

Dr. Gillian peeks out the door as they skip down the hallway. "I should've taken that job at the FBI."

Tony, Ziva and the girls sit in the break room.

"What was with that whole thing with the skipping?"

"I was just trying to show the girls a good time, trying to make them forget." ...as he starts to take off his makeup.

"Here, let me do that" Ziva wipes it off with a napkin.

"I think I came back too early...the shrink asked me some questions I didn't want to hear."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Naw, you already have too much on your mind."

"We're pretty much at a standstill."

Tony rubs Ziva's back, "Why, what's the case about anyway?"

"Oh, about some high tech new body armor, snakeskin or something."

"snakeskin? wait, was it dragonskin?"

"Yeah, it was...why?"

"Megan, could you bring me that thing of your dads, please."

"Yeah, sure."

Megan gets in her bag and brings over the square

"I need to borrow this, ok?"

"Sure, Tony."

"Solve the case, Ziva." Tony hands her the square

Ziva slaps Tony on the back of the head..."cheer up, would ya? Remember I have a surprise for you later."

"heh...I do love surprises."

"Megan?"

"Yeah, Ziva?"

"Could you help take off his makeup for me?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Thanks" ...and she leaves...

"The box we got from Tony is just the design specs for the dragonskin."

"Then he was dirty, he was looking to sell them."

"But who, Boss?"

"If I knew that McGee, he'd have my foot in his ass already."

Gibbs walks to the elevator..."I'll be in autopsy, if you need me."

-----------------------

Gibbs arrives in autopsy, "I need to know about that weird scar, Ducky."

"Oh, Jethro...I did have a look at that after you left and if I have my calculations correct, he put the square inside his own skin to sneak it out."

"Any trace left inside the wound?"

"None."

"Why sneak it out like that?"

"Shame?"

Gibbs is visible upset...he leaves..

Gibbs enters the lab

"Anything knew, Abs?"

"Other than DiNozzo being a really ugly woman?"

"Yes, besides that...and I didn't think he looked that bad."

Abby shudders..."anyway, only Tony's, Captain Phoenix and Megan's prints are on the case. None on the memory card, the Captain's DNA is on case, I found a small trace glitter. Probably from the girls."

"What kind of glitter?"

"Just your average glitter, Gibbs."

"Run some kind of doo-dad on it."

"All right, Gibbs."

"I need to talk to those girls..."

Tony?"..."Wake up, Tony."..."Come on, Tony, open your eyes."

Tony raises his head..."Kate?"

"Yes, it's me, Tony."

"Wow, you look great for being dead."

"Tony!"

"I mean heaven must have some killer stair climbers."

"Tony! Is that all I ever meant to you?"

"What do you expect from me, Kate? You teased the living hell out of me. Then when you finally let in, I got to have you once."

"One night, Tony...not just once."

"I would give anything to relive that night...anything."

"Tony..."

"...and you got 50 of me, you didn't get to have all of me. You got the Y-pestis Tony."

"If it means anything to you...you at 50 was better than anyone I've ever had."

"No it doesn't...wait, really?"

Kate laughs..."I knew that get the DiNozzo ego a goin'."

"heh...well, you know me Kate."

"You're hard to love, Tony."

"I know, I get that from my deep psychological problem with my mother. It's not like...I enjoyed using woman. It was just easy for me. It was just sex...can't get hurt, if I don't get too close...but, Kate you were different."

"How so, Tony?"

"You never took any of my BS, you shoveled it right back at me. That's hot, Kate. I mean really hot."

"What about Ziva?"

"She doesn't shovel it back, she uses a bulldozer to run you over. She scares me, Kate."

"Scares you?"

"In a good way...like, damn, this is gonna hurt...soooo good."

(DiNozzo!)

"What the hell was that?"

"It means you're about to wake up."

"...but I don't want, too."

"Yes you do, Tony...remember Ziva still has her surprise to give to you."

"Will I ever talk to you again, Kate?"

"Let go, Tony...let me go."

"I love you, Kate."

...silence...

"Do you hear me, Kate...I LOVE YOU!"

(DiNozzo!)

"I will always love you..."

Kate appears behind Tony...she hugs him...and whispers in his ear..."Ditto"...then vanishes...

"Damn it, DiNozzo, wake up...you're back on active duty...and apparently you got a raise.."

"Ghost..."

"What DiNozzo?"

"Nothing, Boss."

"What about the girls, Gibbs?"

"CPS is here, in the squad room...we're going to Abby, you can talk to them if you want."

"Thanks, Boss...come on, girls."

Tony picks up their bag and takes them to the squad room.

"Are you the people from CPS?" Two men dressed in black suits stand in a vacant squad room.

"Yes, we are, sir."

"Did you find their Grandmother?"

"Not yet, but we'll be taking them with us."

"We don't want to go, Tony."

"Hey, can they stay with me until you guys find their grandmother?"

"Absolute not"...as one of the men grabs Sienna.

"Hey, man...you don't have to do that!"...Tony steps towards him and the other man hits him over the head with a gun...Tony falls on the floor as they grab Megan and her bag and run into the elevator."

Tony stands and runs to the window, he sees that they are driving a black SUV. Tony bangs on the window and one of the men pulls a gun and fires in Tony's direction, shooting out the glass, the shattered glass opens up a gash on Tony's chin and neck. Tony pulls his gun and fires twice, hitting him both times, both in the shoulder. He jumps in the car...

"Tony!" Megan screams

The SUV speeds away as Tony looks down, seeing a UPS truck.

"Don't do it, Anthony...don't..."...Tony jumps.."...you crazy bastard!"

Tony lands, then rolls off the roof, grabbing the side view mirror, hurting his shoulder..."damn it!"..

Tony drops..." I need your truck."

"What?" Tony throws him out and tosses him his badge.

Tony hits the gas and speeds off after them...

"What the hell happened?"

Jen rushes out of her office..."I have no idea, but I heard multiple gunshots."

Ziva looks around, "Where's Tony?"

"He's suppose to be meeting the CPS here."

"The girls are missing, too, Boss."

Gibbs speed dials Tony

The sound of Tony's ringtone is heard..

"Where's that coming from?"

They all search..."hey, I found it, it's out on the ledge here, Boss."

"What? Tony fell out the window!?"

Gibbs looks down and see the UPS guy looking upwards.

"Hey, some guy just stole my truck!"

Gibbs hollers down, "What did he look like!?!"

"He threw me this badge!"

"We'll be right down."

The team goes downstairs...

"Tell me what happened.."

"I dunno, man...all hell broke loose, I was in back doing something and I heard gunfire and then some guy fell on my truck or something, then he came in here and threw me out and toss me this badge."

Gibbs takes Tony's badge..."How long ago? Which way did he go?"

"Couple minutes. He went left and he was bleeding pretty badly, man.."

"Let's go..."

"Damn it, I lost my cell."

Tony smashes into cars left and right, chasing them down one way streets and alleys...they turn a sharp left and Tony nearly over turns the truck.

The black SUV speeds through a red light, but is t-boned by another truck...a body is tossed from SUV. Tony slams on the breaks and is hit from behind and Tony is knocked out through the open door.

Tony struggles to get up...he makes his way over to man who was thrown from the SUV, he was the driver. He was dead. His neck was broken.

"Hey, call the police!"

Tony limps over to the SUV. The man he shot is holding Megan hostage, his gun to her head.

"Put it down...it's over."

The man is screaming, "I'll kill her, man!"

"Put your damn gun down!"

Tony realizes he's lost his gun. He turns around and sees it by the truck. "Damn it."

"Don't hurt her...what do you want!?"

"I want the memory card...she has it."

"No, she doesn't."

"Yes, she does."

"Stay calm, Megan...we found the memory card, its back at NCIS."

"No, she has it!"

"No she doesn't, let her go, damn it!"

His arm starts to shake...

"Don't do anything stupid!"

He pulls the trigger, shooting Megan in the head.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

He turns his gun on Tony, firing a couple time, then goes after Sienna."

Tony runs at him screaming...he turns the gun back on Tony, shooting him in the left arm.

Tony doesn't flinch...he continues, pulling his knife...the man pulls the trigger again, Tony grabs the slide, stopping it from firing and stabs downwards, his blade smashes through his skull, entering his brain, Tony snaps the blade off. Tony pulls the gun from his hand and empties the clip into his face.

Tony drops the gun, then drops to his knees, taking Megan in his arms.

"God...no...why?"

"T...Tony?"

again..."Tony?"

Tony looks to his left, seeing Sienna, blood on her face, still inside the car.

He lets Megan slide out of his hands, her blood covering his hands and chest.

"I'm coming Sienna."

"Freeze! This is the Washington D.C. people, put your hands up!"

Tony struggles towards the car..

"Sir, if you don't stop, we will shoot you."

"Then shoot me, I don't care anymore." ...as he reaches in and grabs Sienna.

"Sir?"

"Hold fire."

Tony picks up Sienna, holding her away from her sister's body and walks toward the police

"she needs an ambulance."

Police rush in..."paramedics are standing by."

"You've been shot..."

"Take care of her first." ..as he hands her over to the paramedic.

"Where you going, sir?"

"I have to get my gun."

"Who are you?"

"NCIS" as Gibbs walks into frame

"Tony...here.." McGee gets under his arm and helps him walk

"I have your gun, Tony." Tony takes his gun from Ziva and starts back towards Megan

"Tony...she's dead.."

"I know..." Ziva runs to him

"Damn it, stop!"...Tony stops..."this isn't your fault"

"I dropped my gun..."

"Tony, you're bleeding..."

"I don't deserve any help..."

"Tony...look at me.." Ziva gets in his face..."look at me, Tony!"

Tony looks into her eyes...she puts her hands on his face...

"I couldn't save her, Ziva. I tried, but I couldn't."

Gibbs points towards Tony, sending a paramedic his way

"Sir, please come with us."

Tony looks towards them and then looks away.

"Tony..."...Ziva moves his face so he's looking at her again. Ziva kisses him...then whispers something in his ear...she backs up, wiping tears from her eyes and walks back towards Gibbs.

Tony looks at Ziva...then at the paramedic...then back at Ziva...Tony heads off with the help of the paramedic.

Ziva walks past McGee and then Gibbs.

"Ziva, what did you tell him?"

"I'm pregnant."


	3. Parenthood

8 months later...

"Boss, this is disgusting."

"Why do you think I'm not doing it, DiNozzo."

Tony continues digging through the muddy pond

"Where's Probie?"

"He's worse off than you, DiNozzo, he's in a sunken graveyard."

"Yikes, that sucks...whoa, something just touched my leg"

"We are in wilderness, Tony."

"Don't remind me, Gibbs."

"How are things at home, DiNozzo."

"Much better, Boss...Ziva's out of the throwing knives stage...well, large knives, now she just throws small ones and she usually tells me they're coming."

"That's considerate of her."

"Yeah and on the good side, I'm starting to get good at catching knives."

Tony gets his foot stuck and he starts pulling on it, making a huge splash

"Ugh!...gross, I got some pond scum in my mouth."

Gibbs drinks his coffee..."How's Ziva?"

"Very pregnant. V-E-R-Y."

"When she due?"

"Hopefully soon"...wipes his brows..."Next Tuesday, Boss."

"Found something, Boss"...Tony reaches down and pulls a sword out of pond."

"That's it, DiNozzo. Good job."

Phone rings..."not me, DiNozzo."

"Crap, can you get my phone, Boss?" Raises his arms.

"No."

"Come on, Gibbs...it could be Ziva, don't you want your godchild to know you don't like them?"

"You're pushing it, Tony."

"Wait, godchild? Me? Are you insane?"

The phone continues to ring...

Tony's now out of the water

"Not a very nice way to start off being a godfather."

"Stop saying that."

"Godpapa."

"DiNozzo!"

"Come on, I'm sure your godchild will want to learn the craft of boat building."

"If it's anything like you DiNozzo, it'll only care about movies."

"How about movies about boat building?"

"Why haven't I kicked your ass, yet?"

"You love me, Boss."

"The hell I do."

"We don't know if it's a boy or girl yet...so, there's a chance, if it's a girl, if might find the scent of sawdust sexy."

"I do admire that in a woman."

"Why do you think I said it?"

"Operation: Kicking Your Ass commencing in t-minus 10 second."

"Gotta go, Boss." runs past Gibbs

"DiNozzo, get your ass in the car, we have to go pick up McGee."

"Hold on, Boss. You can't rush perfection."

"You're taking a leak, DiNozzo, not creating world peace."

"Gibbs are you always mad at me?" Tony gets in the car.

"Only when you do something stupid."

"So, all the time, huh?"

"Pretty much."

They pick up McGee

"So, you still dating that boondocks-probie, Probie?

"Ruby hates me, you know that."

"I told you, Tim...get more rest before a date."

"I know...I fall asleep once during sex and it's like I've got the plague...no offense, Tony."

"None taken."

"Why are you taking women advice from DiNozzo, McGee?"

"I asked you first, Boss...but you told me to quit before I started."

"That's good advice, Tim."

"It's definitely cheaper."

"That's the first smart thing DiNozzo has said all day."

"I told you, you loved me, Boss."

Tony gets smacked

They arrive back at NCIS HQ

Tony rubbing the back of his head..."That's seven smacks today, Gibbs."

Gibbs smacks him again.

"Damn, make that eight."

"You want to go for nine, DiNozzo?"

"That's ok, Boss."

They head in.

"I'll take the sword to Abby, Boss."

"Alright Tony, meet us in the squad room afterwards."

Tony grabs a caf-pow before heading down

Tony steps off the elevator..."Hey Abs, I have a caf-pow and some evidence for you."

"Wow, you spoil me, Tony."

"Still don't have the Gibbs-nesses down?"

"Sorry, Tony."

"'Tis ok."

"Any news on Sienna, Tony?"

"Still waiting for the adoption papers to go through."

"It was very wonderful of you to take her in."

"I couldn't let her go to an orphanage after her grandmother died. She's been through hell."

"I talked to Ziva today."

"Did she find my nudie mags again?"

"Ummm, no."

"Whew, I don't have to find a new hiding space yet."

"...anyway, we were talking about marriage."

"What?"

"M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E, Tony."

"I can't spell, Abs."

"When are you gonna make her a proper woman?"

"Whenever I think of marriage, Gibbs pops up in my mind and he'll be building a boat in his basement."

"Yeah, so?"

"I don't have a basement, Abs."

Tony walks into the squad room and sits in his chair and puts his feet up on the desk

"Man, I'm beat."

"Ziva been running you ragged getting things for her?"

"Yeah, but that's not why I'm tired. Searching through a pond takes a lot out of a man."

Gibbs walks in

"You were in there 10 minutes tops, DiNozzo."

"I had a late night last night, if you must know...(with a Jewish accent) Ziva was harman."

"You can say horny, Tony."

"She wasn't horny...she was harman."

"What's the different?"

"Horny is when you have wild crazy sex...harman is when you have wild crazy sex after she ties you up, gags you and curses you in Hebrew all while you watch Letterman and remember to tape it for her...big different, McGee."

"Letterman is on too late for me."

"Exactly."

"He still have those stupid pet tricks on, DiNozzo?"

"Sometimes, Boss."

"I once had a dog who'd bring me a beer."

"Really, Boss?"

"Yeah, he was a great dog."

"I had a dog once, but my dad got rid of him."

"Why's that, Tony?"

"Well, Probie...it seemed the lifeguards weren't very happy when I trained him to retrieve bikini tops."

"How old were you, 14-15?"

"Naw, 31."

Tony arrives at home, opens the door and sees a black lab puppy

"When did we get a dog?"

Sienna runs it...'Tony!"

Tony picks her up and hugs her, as the dog attacks his ankle..."Here Sienna, I got you something"...he reaches into his pocket and hands her a candy necklace..."Shhh! don't show it to Ziva, she'll take it away from you...and eat it herself."

Tony puts her down and walks into the kitchen, where Ziva is standing in front of the stove.

"Ma shelomkha?" as Tony puts his arms around her

"I'm fine...just a bit tired."

Tony rubs her tummy..."...and the baby?"

"Active today."

"Did you go get Mexican again today?"

"No...yes...but that's not it."

The dog continues to bite Tony's ankle

"Ziva, what's with the pooch."

"Oh, we saw it today and Sienna had to have it."

"What's its name?"

"Doesn't have one, Sienna said you'd name it."

"Hmmm, what about flotz?"

"We're not naming the dog fart, Tony."

"It's not fart, its flotz."

"My family will be proud."

"Most of your family hates you or wants you dead, don't they?"

"Oh, speaking of family...my mother arrives Friday from Tel Aviv."

"What?"

"You have to pick her up at the airport."

"Does she hate me, too?"

"Probably, I do."

"Aww, that's just your sore back talking."

"No, that's my tired feet talking, my back wants to kill you."

"I can take care of that"...he picks her up and take her to the bedroom, placing her on the bed and starts to massage her feet.

"Hmmm, you are good for something else."

"Huh?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Heh...OH...I got it!"

He continues to rub her feet.

"Don't worry about dinner today, Ziva...I'll take care of it."

"Sienna, I'm cooking tonight!"

"Sienna runs in..."YAY, PIZZZZZZA!"

"Heh...she knows me so well."

"Hey, Sienna, is that a candy necklace...can I have some of that?"

"Quick, Sienna...RUN!"

"Daddy!"

"She's calling you, Tony."

"Huh?"

Tony gets up and goes into Sienna's room

"I had a bad dream."

"It's ok, I'm here now." He stays with her until she falls asleep

Tony walks back into his bedroom..."She called me daddy, Zee..." ..Tony notices that she's asleep and he grabs another blanket and covers her with it.

Tony now at work

"Boss, I got that license number for you, it's a no match."

"You got that trace up yet, McGee."

"Still offline, Boss."

"Hey, Gibbs...can I talk to you about something in the elevator?"

"About what, DiNozzo?"

"I'm just a bit confused...about some things."

"This have to do with personal life?"

"Yeah."

"Then why ask me, I thought you didn't like my advice woman and relationships."

"This is about a different kind of relationship, Boss."

They both walk into the elevator and Gibbs hits the emergency button

"So, what is it, DiNozzo?"

"It's just that...Sienna called me daddy for the first time...and it felt odd."

"You get used to that, Tony."

"My childhood growing up sucked, Boss. I SO want to be a good dad...but I fear I'll turn into my dad."

"What? You want me to tell you that you're gonna be a good dad? I can't."

"No, I don't want that...and I know you can't."

"Look, Tony...I felt the same way before I became a dad...it's normal."

Tony sighs

"I might not act it, but I am happy for you, Tony...it's totally gonna change you, probably for the better."

"I'm sorry about all the godchild stuff, Gibbs."

"Don't be, I'm looking forward to it."

"Huh?"

"I'm not a complete bastard, DiNozzo."

Tony hits the emergency switch and the elevator stops at the squad room floor...Tony starts to walk out, but Gibbs puts his arm across the front of Tony's chest.

"You're aren't gonna be a good dad, Tony...you're gonna be a great one." ...as Gibbs walks out.

Tony now stands in the middle of the squad room after gathering Gibbs, McGee, Abby, Jen, Ducky, Palmer and even agent Lee.

"I have an announcement to make."

"Is Ziva in labor, Tony!?"

"No, Abby."

"Well..?"

"Well, we're throwing a HUGE party on Friday at exactly"...looks at hand..."..7 p.m..bring a date, bring your mom, bring your dog, it doesn't matter, bring someone."

"What's the special occasion , DiNozzo?"

"Ziva's mom is arriving on Friday and thus, the more of you at the party, the less chances of her killing me."

"She's not gonna kill you, Tony."

"I dunno, Boss."

"I've talked to her 3 times on the phone and I could feel death breathing into my ear...kept yelling at me in Hebrew about how I polluted her little girl with my evil semen...and the worse thing is, she doesn't know I understand Hebrew, she probably thinks I won't be expecting it."

"Uhhhh, nice description, Tony." McGee said with a look on his face like he was about to puke

"Oh sorry, guys...anyway, can you guys come?"

"Will there be an open bar, DiNozzo?"

"Absolutely, Boss."

They all say they will be there.

"Hey Director, can I talk to you for a minute."

"Sure, Abby."

"We should throw Ziva a baby shower."

"You think Ziva would like that?"

"Probably not, but it's not her call."

"Well, talk to Tony about it and if he's ok with it, I'll help."

"Thanks."

"Hey Tony, you think it would be ok if we threw Ziva a baby shower?"

"Sure, why not."

"Shouldn't you talk to her about first?"

"Naw, she doesn't know we're having a party on Friday. I'm sure she'll be pissed too much about that to care about being pissed at me about the baby shower...so, have fun."

"Ummm, thanks, I guess."

Tony picks up the phone, "I need to order a keg for Friday."

"Better make it two, DiNozzo,"

"Right, Boss...make that two kegs, please. That's DiNozzo. Spell it? Big D, little i, big N, little ozzo."

Tony hangs up..."God, I love when I do that."

"Where did you find Goth baby clothes, Abby?"

"I made them myself, Ziva." grinning

"Well, thanks."

"Yeah and they're uni-sexual, so it doesn't matter if you have a boy or girl. By the way, do you know the sex of the baby yet?"

"Nope, I want to be surprised."

"Here, Ziva...this is from me." handing her a medium sized box

"Thanks, director." ..as she starts to open it

"You can call me Jenny, you know."

Ziva opens the box and inside is lingerie

"That's for after the baby is born, of course."

Ziva puts it back in the box. "He'll never see it."

"Come on, you don't mean that." Jenny trying to comfort her

"Look at me, I'm fat." ..as she eats another cookie

"No, you're not, you're pregnant."

"You'll be back down to weight in no time, Ziva." Abby added

"...and it's not like it stops you guys from having sex, right?"

"We have sex all the time."

"This may be out of line, but as the only one here not to have sex with Tony...how good is he?"

Jenny and Ziva both look at her evilly...

Meanwhile, Tony arrives at McGee's.

Tony knocks on the door..."Come on, McGee, open the door."

"What you want, Tony?" Tim opens the door

"They're having a baby shower at my place, I'd thought I'd hang over here with you for awhile."

"You can stay if you want, but I'm in the middle of a chapter of my new book."

"New book? Is Special Agent Tommy in this one, too?"

"I'm not telling."

"Come on, Probie...Mcspill it!"

"Nope, sorry, Tony."

"You suck...anyway, get dressed, we're going over to surprise the Boss."

"Surprise him with what?"

"You'll see..."

"Tony...the last time you tried something on Gibbs, he head slapped you for an hour."

"Yeah, I know...but this is GOLD."

Tony and McGee pull up next to Gibbs house

"Grab the box in the back seat, McGee."

Tim grabs it and they head to his front door...Tony picks the lock

"You've definitely spent too much time with Ziva, Tony."

"Shhh...be quiet.."

"He's not home, Tony...his car isn't here."

They go inside and go into the basement.

"What the hell is that, Tony?"

"That's a brand new bass boat, McGee."

"How'd the hell you get it in here?"

"Practice."

Tim puts down the box and looks inside, "An electric drill and sander?"

"Give me the banner, Probie."

"Congratulations Goddaddy? Are you freakin' nuts, Tony?"

"There, finished. Looks good, doesn't?"

The sound of a door unlocking is heard..."Oh god, he's coming."

"Quick, hide McGee."

"Where?"

Tony points at work cabinet...and they both run and jump inside.

"Crap, forgot to turn the light off"...Tony jumps out, turns off the light and jumps back in

"Tony..'

"Shhh..."

Gibbs turns on the light..

McGee starts to talk, but Tony grabs him and puts his hand over his mouth. "Shut up, McGee." very softly...then takes his hand off

Gibbs starts going down the stair..."Congratulations Goddaddy?" He puts his hand over his face. "What am I gonna do with you, DiNozzo?"

Gibbs looks at the bass boat. "McGee!"

"Yeah, Boss?"

"What the hell, Probie?"

Tim opens the door...and gets out.

"Hey, Gibbs."

"Get out of there, DiNozzo!"

"How'd you know we were in there?

"McGee's teeth."

"Damn you, McGee...and your good teeth."

"What is all this, DiNozzo?"

"Remember when my dad cut me off?"

"Yeah."

"Well, since I'm finally having a kid, he re-opened my trust fund and when I was here last week you didn't have a boat down there, so I thought, hey, Boss needs a new boat."

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, there you go...of course, if you don't like it, I can send it back."

Gibbs shakes his head...

"Boss?"

"Nothing...thank you."

"Boss, I know you build the boats in your basement for a reason...that's why the bass boat has a trailer."

"What, no truck, DiNozzo?"

Tony walks into squad room and notices a box on his desk, inside are the electric drill and sander.

"I had Abby sell the boat on ebay, I got nine thousand for it...that'll buy a lot of lumber. Thanks, DiNozzo "

Tony looks shocked..."You're welcome, Boss."

Tony lays back and puts his feet on his desk..."Man, we had a wild time last night, McGee."

Tony takes off his glasses and looks around..."Where the hell is McGee?"

"He's not in yet, DiNozzo."

"Crap, am I early or something?"

"Nope, late as usual."

"Huh, that's very un-McGee like, Boss."

Tony calls McGee..."Nothing...maybe his sister was framed for murder again, Boss."

"What did you guys do last night after you left my house."

"Nothing much...stopped at this bar, had a couple drinks...wingman'd up for McGee, had a woman hooked for him, but he puked on her shoe...totally blew it...then I took him home. He had a half a beer, Boss."

"If you worried about him, go over there."

"I think I will, but I have to go see Abby for a minute, you need me to take anything to her, Boss?"

"Nope."

Tony goes downstairs to Abby's lab with caf-pow in hand

"Hey Abby, how was the baby shower?" ...holding out the caf-pow

She takes it, puts it down then hugs him

"I love your hugs, Abby...you grind in all the right places."

Abby playfully slaps his chest, "Tony!"

"Heh...just telling the truth."

"What can I do for you?"

"Oh, I just came to give Sienna's godmother a card she made her."

"Awww, that is so cute."

"I'll tell her you loved it."

"Thanks, Tony...and I'll call her later. Oh, sorry about the whole boat thing."

"It's cool, I didn't think he'd take it...and it was his after all."

Tony starts to leave, "Oh Abby, have you heard from McGee today?"

"Nope, not today...anything wrong?"

"Naw, he's just late...I'm going over there now."

"Ok, let me know, Tony."

Tony leaves

Tony arrives at McGee's place

Tony knocks..."McGee, you in there?"

McGee neighbor comes out, "stop all that racket!"

Tony looks at him..."What?"

"Why is there so much yelling coming from that apartment!?"

"What the hell you talking about?"

"There was constant yelling from that place last night."

Tony takes out his gun and points towards the neighbor, "get back in your apartment."

"Probie!" ...knocks on the door again..."Tim!"

Tony kicks in the door..

Tony kicks in the door...he walks in and starts to look around, nothing seems to be out of place...nothing is stolen, all his computers and equipment are untouched. His workbag is still on his desk.

"McGee!?"

Tony walks into the bedroom, the bed is made and hasn't been slept in...he finds his cell phone on the nightstand next to his bed, Tony checks it, his last call was to a local arcade at 11:12 p.m., last night...Tony hits send and a computerized voice says they don't open until 10 a.m.

Tony calls Gibbs

"Boss, he's not here...there's something wrong, he left his cell phone and work bag. "

"Have I checked his car? No...on it, Boss."

Tony walks out of McGee's place..

Tony looks through the windows of McGee's Porsche...

"Man, that thing is tiny."

Tony hears a commotion from the roof of McGee's apartment complex.

Tony runs back into McGee's apartment and checks the windows, a fire escape leans upwards...Tony gets on it and quickly ascends

"McGee!?"

Tony now on the roof..."Ruby?"

"Hey, Tony."

"What's going on?"...Tony sees a unconscious partial naked McGee behind her..."He's not dead, is he?"

"No, just asleep"

"No, don't tell...he fell asleep again in the middle..."

She starts to cry..."y-yes."...Tony gives her a hug..

"it's not you, Ruby, this is totally on Timmy."

"That's what he told me."

"I would believe him, he's a lot smarter than me and you believe me, right?"

"I suppose..."

"Hey, why don't you come to my party on Friday...McGee will be there, I'll make sure he washes behind his ears and stuff, make sure he drinks a lot of Mt. Dew. Don't worry."

"I'd love to come."

"I do have one question, though...why are you on the roof?"

"When I arrived last night, I could smell perfume on him and we had an argument...the neighbor started yelling at us to stop, so we took it outside, we drank a couple bottles of wine to cool down and we talked...and then things got a bit sexual and...then he fell asleep...then I woke up around 20 minutes ago and we tried again and he fell asleep again."

"He fell asleep twice!? Poor Probie"

"No, poor Ruby.'

Tony calls Gibbs

"Found him, Boss. He's still a dud."

click

Ruby starts to leave..."What time Tony?"

"Seven." ..and she leaves

Tony walks over to Tim and picks him up, putting him over his shoulder...when McGee's pants fall down around his ankles

"McGee, we definitely need to talk about stuff. You're making men look bad everywhere."

Tony carries him down the fire escape and back into his apartment..."Time for a shower, McGee."

Tony walks into bathroom and puts him in and turns only the cold water on.

McGee screams as Tony brushes his head with a scrubbing brush..."yeah, behind the ears!"

"Tony, that's for scrubbing the toilet with!"

"Ewwww" tosses it in the shower with Tim .."take a shower, I'll be in your kitchen looking for food."

McGee quickly turns the hot water on..."What in the hell just happened?"

Tim walks into the kitchen after showering and getting dressed

Tony is eating a pop tart waiting for him..."Thanks for the pop tart, Probie."

"Go ahead, make fun of me, Tony."

"For what?"

"You know."

"Nope, sure the first time, but not after that, you have a problem Tim...and I'm gonna help ya."

"How are you gonna help me?"

"Behold, the awesomeness that is Tony DiNozzo."

"What does that mean?"

"I dunno, but it sound cool"...flicks his teeth with his tongue..."...but for real Tim, I'm gonna help ya."

Tony walks over to McGee

"Gibbs has his rules...now, here are mine for the ladies...number one...so grab a piece of paper and pencil, Probie!"

"Are you serious, Tony?"

"Yeah, except for the whole pencil and paper thing, I'll record it for you on a tape later, but anyway...number one, when you go out with a woman, never drink more than she does...number two, when she asks you how she looks, always tells her she looks great, even if she looks bad...number two and half, never ever and I mean ever answer the...does my ass look fat in this...question yes unless you've been in a relationship at least two years and that's pushing it."

"Are there gonna be a lot of these, Tony?"

Tony gives him a look..

"Go on."

"Next, number three; women love flowers, especially out of nowhere...not just when you're sorry. Number four, when a woman asks you what you're thinking, don't say I don't know, it pisses them off. If you have to, make something up, but it's good to just say, you're thinking of them...they love that, they love attention. Number five, if you're tired and about to make love, suck it up and be on top, you can't fall asleep if you're the one in motion...and if you do, Timmy, it's probably a good idea to stop all together. Number six, wash a woman's hair, they can't get enough of it, Probie...you wash her hair then brush it afterwards, it's like their putty in your hands. Number seven, cook for them, women love a man who'll actually spend time making something for them, from the heart...and if all else fails, buy something out and then serve it in your own dishes, that works, too. Number eight, take care of yourself, shave in all the right places, women like a well groomed man, as we like a well groomed woman."

"That's a lot to remember, Tony."

"We just got started, Probie...but we gotta get goin', so get your gear...I'll tell ya more on the way there."

Tony pats McGee on the back..

Tony and McGee now in Tony's car

"You know, I was worried about ya, Tim….you're one of my only friends in the world, it would totally suck to lose you."

Tony rubs Tim's head

"…and forget about those ladies rules, as long as you're both happy, that's all that matters."

"I'll take all the help I can get, Tony."

"Well, maybe I'll tell you some more later."

Tony takes out a small box from the inside pocket of his leather jacket

"Hey, McGee…what you think of this?" ..handing it to McGee.

Tim opens it…"Is this an engagement ring!?"

"Sure is."

"I don't believe it…you're gonna ask her to marry you?"

"Yup…it's either that or get killed by her mom." …Tony goes silent for a second…"…but seriously, I'm ready, Probie. I'm past ready."

"I'm glad for you, Tony...this must've put you back a pretty penny."

"There's no value on love, McGee."

"Sounds like you really have changed, Tony."

"Now, back to you and Ruby….I think it has more to do with outside distraction than the relationship itself."

"What do you mean?"

"Well…do you usually write for your book every night?"

"Yeah…usually 15 or so pages, then re-write, then edit."

"Well, there you go…you're probably doing that for what, 2 hours? Plus 10-12 hours at work. No wonder you fall asleep. You're tuckered out before she even comes over."

"Huh…that kinda makes sense."

"Yeah. Look at me, I work, I go home, I play hide n seek with Sienna, then Ziva makes me her sex puppet and I sleep like a baby. You'll get used to it, Probie."

"But she'll never talk to me again, Tony."

"Aww, McGee…she'll be at my party, things'll turn out ok."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah, of course…and if you ever need anything, Tim…anything at all, I'm there for you."

McGee takes out his gun and realizes he forgot his clip

"You got another clip, Tony?"

"Look in the glove box, should be a few in there."

"It's locked."

"Aww, right, it's Sienna proof now…I'll get it for ya, when we stop."

Tony phone rings…

"Hello?"

Tony slams on the breaks and does a quick 180 and floors it

"What's up, Tony?"

"Baby time…"

Tony races towards the hospital

"What did Gibbs say, McGee?"

"He's on his way with Abby and he said he'd tell the director and Ducky." as he hung up his cell

"Good probie, McGee!"

Tony is sky high..."I'm gonna be daddy! I'm gonna be daddy! I'm gonna be a daddy!"

"Aren't you nervous, Tony?"

He continues to sing, "Naw, I'm scared.."...a horn goes off..."...less, McGee."

Tony points at McGee..."sing with me, McGee!"

"I'm gonna be a daddy!"

"You're gonna be a daddy!?"

"I'm gonna be a daddy!"

"You're gonna be a daddy!"

They continue, dashing through numerous red lights

They arrive at hospital and Tony drives up to ER entrance and gets out

McGee scoots over and goes to park the car as Tony runs inside

"NCIS, I'm looking for a pregnant Israeli woman!" Tony shows his badge

They all point to room 3, even all the people in the waiting room..."GOOD LUCK!"

Tony runs in..."My little Israeli flower!"...just then a bedpan flies and hits Tony in the face...

"You must be the father." a orderly said as he helped Tony up .."it's rare, but that does happen from time to time."

Tony rushes to Ziva's side, holding her hand "I'm here."

Ziva grabs him by the tie and yanks him downwards, "Where the hell were you?"

"I went to McGee's, he was missing."

"I called you at work 20 times."

"Why didn't you call my cell?"

She lets out a angry moan, "Tambalon!"

"You're not stupid, Ziva" kissing her on the lips

Ziva looks up at him...and lets out a half smile

"Doc, how is she?"

"She's doing well, a little angry, but fine."

"That's normal, doc."

Ziva elbows Tony in the gut.

"Ouch, so pointy."

"I'll give you pointy! Where's my purse."

"No knives today, dear."

"Six centimeters, doctor."

"What does that mean?"

"It means she's not ready yet, Mister..?"

"Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo."

"Huh?"

"Sorry, force of habit...Tony DiNozzo."

"Well, Mr. DiNozzo...wait, Tony DiNozzo...are you the one who played at Ohio State?"

"Yeah, that's me."

"I really thought you had a chance that year, you had a helluva team."

"It was heartbreaking."

"Yeah, your guard play was magnif.."

"Shut the hell up!" Ziva yells

"Oh sorry, well...she's almost ready, we'll be moving her soon to the delivery room."

"Thanks, doc."

Tony walks over to Ziva..."wow, I have a fan."

Ziva looks at him with disgust.

"I'm sorry."

McGee comes running in, "here's your keys.."...as he sees the doctor examining Ziva..."Whoa, that's...that's..."

"Snap out of it, McGee, you have seen that before!"

"Yeah, but not like that."

Tony looks at it..."Yikes!"

"I think I'm gonna go wait for Gibbs and Abby in the waiting room." He starts to walk out..

"Tim, wait a sec...take my gun and knife...just on the safe side." ..Tim nods in agreement as he takes them from Tony

"Ok, Ziva...are you sure you don't want an epidural?" The doctor asked

"No, it's against tradition."

"Can I have hers instead, doc?"

"TONY!"

"Sorry."

"How far apart are the contractions?"

"three or four minutes."

"Ok, Ziva, it's almost time." He motions to the orderly and nurses that it's time

Tony moves back to her side and holds her hand, she squeezes it really hard..."Damn, Ziva!"

"Consider yourself lucky, Tony...it wasn't my first choice..."...she lets out a angry moan..."...to squeeze!"

Tony gulps...

The doctors come in..."It's time." ..they get the bed ready to move..."Are you ready, Ziva?"

She nods...as she grabs Tony's tie and yanks him down to him. "Ready."

"I can't breath, Ziva."

"Good."

"Let's go, people."

They move the bed out of the room and through a set of double doors

Ziva again lets out an angry moan..."I hate you, Tony."

"I love you, too."

"God, I hate you!"

"I love you, too."

"If I had a gun, I'd shoot you."

"I love you, too."

"Ben elef kelev!"

"Whoa, say what you will about me, but lets keep Flotz out this!"

Ziva pulls harder on his tie and gives him an evil look

"I REALLY..."...screams..."HATE YOU, TONY DiNOZZO!!!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH I REALLY LLLLLLLLLLLLLOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!" gagging

Tony runs into a wall as they go through another set of double doors, knocking him down."

They continue on without him...

"...TONY!?"

Tony picks himself up..."I'm coming, sweet cheeks!"

Tony runs, but is stopped by an orderly before going into the delivery room.

"You are going in with us right, sir?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then put these on." The orderly hands Tony some scrubs and shoe covers and bag for his other clothes

Tony quickly takes off his leather jacket and starts undoing his pants.

"Sir! You can put those over your clothes."

"Oh..." He quickly buckles his pants back up and throws the scrubs on, then falls down trying to put the covers on his shoes.

"Tony, where the hell are you?"

"I'm coming, sugar plums!" ..as he gets up, but falls again, taking the orderly with him...

Gibbs and Abby arrive

"Hey, Boss, they took her into the delivery room."

"I wonder what she's gonna have. I hope it's a boy."

"What we need, another male DiNozzo running around."

"Gibbs!" Abby smacks him on the back of the head

"Holy crap, Abby!"

Gibbs looks at Abby..."I deserved that."

Abby acting tough..."Yeah, you did."

"Don't push it, Abs." Gibbs kisses her on the cheek...

Someone screams from down the hall..

"Was that Ziva?"

"No, it was DiNozzo."

The small box bounced across the floor, Tony dove for it, hitting his arm on a crash cart letting out a yell.

"Ben elef!" ..as he picked up the box and rose to his feet..."great, now I'm cursing in Hebrew."

Tony walks into the delivery room, "I'm here, Ziva." ...grabbing her hand and holding it.

She's sweating profusely

"Don't push, Ziva!." Tony moves more behind her and holds her tight

"We have some bleeding doctor."

"What's wrong?" ..a worried Tony asks

"Your baby is breeching."

"What!?!"

"It's coming out feet first."

"Is that bad?"

"We have to turn it around. Just tell her not to push."

"Don't push, baby.." He holds her tight and pushes her hair out her face .."You're doing a great job, honey." ...kissing her on top if the head

"Ok, we turned the baby around. Push ZIVA!"

Ziva screams as she pushes...Tony grabs her even tighter.

"Again, Ziva!"

She pushes again and this time, Tony screams with her. "Thatta girl!"

"The heads crowning"

"What?"

"You babies head is out."

Tony looks..."whoa, that's...beautiful is a disturbing way."

"One more good push, Ziva."

"Come on, baby...one more, do it for me!"

"I hate you TONYYYYYYYYY!"

The baby cries..."You did it baby, I'm so proud of you." Tony kisses her on the lips.

"You have a son." The doctor said holding up the baby

Tony starts to cry..."We have a son, Ziva..."

"Sir, would you like to cut the cord?"

Tony moves down to the doctor, "Whoa, that is HUGE...he takes after his old man."

"That's the umbilical cord, sir."

"Heh..I knew that!"

Tony cuts the cord and the doctor wraps the baby in a blanket and hands him to Tony.

"Oh my god, he has my eyes, Ziva...and my hair...and my nose. He's already a lady killer!"

Tony turns to Ziva.."Ziva!? Doctor, what's wrong with her!?"

"She's fine, she hemorrhaged a bit and she passed out, but her vital signs are good."

"Are you sure!?"

"I promise you, she's fine."

Tony leans down and kisses Ziva...

"Sir, we need to do some more tests and examinations on the baby."

Tony hands the baby to the nurse.

"Sir, you can go tell your family and friends the news...we'll take good care of them."

Tony starts to walk out...

"Doctor, we have a problem..."

Tony stops..."What's wrong, doctor!?"

Tony runs over to Ziva.

"We need to get her to the OR, stat!"

"You promised she'd be all right, doc. You promised, damn it!" ..as tears fall from Tony's eyes

Tony takes Ziva's hand and brings it to his face, "your hand is so cold."...he takes the ring out of the box and places it on her left ring finger..."Please..." ..as they roll Ziva out.

Tony stands in the middle of the room silent...

Ducky arrives with Jen, "Any news, Jethro?"

"Not a thing, Ducky."

"Awww, I know the attending ER chief, let me go talk to him."

Ducky walks off.

"Tony is gonna ask Ziva to marry him."

"What, McGee?"

"Yeah, I saw the ring...he showed it to me today."

"Wow, our Tony has really grown up, Gibbs."

"I guess he has Abs."

Ducky comes back, "Of course, it's his off day." ...he sits down..."However, I did hear they took someone to surgery from the OB wing."

"I hope it's not, Ziva."

"We all do, Timothy." ..as Ducky pats McGee's knee

Tony still stands alone in the room

A nurse comes in..."Please come with me, sir. I have someone for you to meet."

45 minutes later

A nurse walks into the waiting room..."Are you the friends and family of Ziva David?"

"Yes, we are...is she ok?" Abby asked

"She was just in surgery."

"Oh my god!" ..as Abby hugs Gibbs

"She's fine, ma'am."

"...and what about the baby, my dear?" Ducky politely asked

"Well, follow me and I'll show you."

"Aww, Abby, all is well..."

Abby smiles and they all follow the nurse

They all arrive outside the nursery and looks through the glass.

"I don't see it."

A nurse walks up to the glass and says, "name?"

"DiNozzo, please." Abby exclaimed

The nurse turns around and motions to another nurse...who walks over to her, she picks up a baby and carries him over to the glass, "His name is Anthony Michael DiNozzo Jr."

"Oh my god, he's adorable." Abby and Jen gush over him

"Good looking godson you got there, Jethro." ..as Ducky pats Gibbs on the back

The nurse puts him back...

"...and.."

"What do you mean, and?" McGee and Abby together

"This is Leroy Jethro DiNozzo." ..as she picks up another baby

"What!?" Jen screamed

"Are you kidding!?" Abby screamed

"Twins!?" a shocked Gibbs.."...and he named him after me?" Gibbs is in complete and total shock

"You know, we're never gonna hear the end of this. Tony having twins. His ego is gonna be in orbit" McGee said jokingly

Abby walks over to Gibbs, "He admires you that much, Gibbs."

Gibbs stares at the babies..

Tony is seen sitting next to Ziva in a chair, he's holding her hand and his head is resting on their linked hands

Tony repeats the saying, "ani ohevet otcha" over and over again.

"Where's Tony, anyway?" Abby asked

"He's probably with Ziva, Abigail"

Ducky walks over to the nurse's station and asks, "I'm looking for a Ziva David?"

"Let me check...yes, she's in recovery. She's just down this hall, then take two lefts and she's in the first room on the left."

"Thank you, my dear."

"Director, if you would...please escort Abigail and Timothy to Ziva room, I need to speak with Jethro for a moment."

"Sure, Ducky...come on, guys." The Director, McGee and Abby all head towards Ziva's room.

Ducky walks over to Gibbs.

"Jethro, are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask, Duck?"

"I haven't seen you like this ever, Jethro."

"I am totally humbled...he named his son after me, Ducky."

"Yes, it is quite the honor. You do know, you're the closest thing he has to a father."

"His father is still alive."

"Awww, yes, Jethro...but who did he call when Ziva went into labor? Where does he go when he needs help or a favor?"

Ducky moves to the other side of Gibbs

"He's your son, Jethro...just not in blood."

McGee and the gals arrive at Ziva's room

They do not go in, they watch from the hall as Tony still lies with his head on their hands repeating, "ani ohevet otcha."

Gibbs walks away from the nursery towards Ziva's room with Ducky

"Did you know anything about twins, Ducky?"

"Not a word, Jethro."

"Do you think Tony knew?"

"Absolutely not, he would've bragged."

They both laugh..."So, true."

They walk upon McGee and the girls waiting outside Ziva's room.

Abby hugs Gibbs once more, "You're crying black, Abs."

"I'm just so happy for them."

Gibbs walks into the room..."Tony?"

Tony looks to his left, sees that it's Gibbs and rises and walks over to him.

"Yeah, Boss?"

Gibbs hugs Tony..."You did great, DiNozzo."

Abby comes up from behind and hugs them both, "They're beautiful, Tony...absolutely beautiful."

Jen now joins the hug..."She'll be fine, Tony...she's tough."

Then Ducky joins..."Aww, Excellent job, Mr. DiNozzo."

Tony backs up...

"Probie, get over here!" Tony hugs McGee and gives him a kiss on the forehead.

"What was that for, Tony?"

"I didn't want you feeling left out."

"What are you all doing hugging like that?"

"Ziva!" Tony rushes over to her side.

"How do you feel?"

"Like I just gave birth, McObvious."

"Oh lord, he's turned her into a DiNozzo before the marriage."

"What marriage?"

"Oh dear.." ..as Ducky backs away

"Stop Ducky.."...Tony drops to one knee..."Ziva David, will you marry me?"

The room goes quiet...Ziva notices the ring on her finger...she brings her hands to her eyes, covering them...some tears escape..

"Yes." Tony gets up and hugs her and kisses her passionately

Everyone clears their throat at the same.

"Thank god, now your mom won't kill me."

"TONY!" said by everyone

"That's our DiNozzo."

"You love me, Boss."

"Unfortunately DiNozzo, I do." Gibbs goes to smack Tony, but instead rubs the back of his head gently.

"Awww, that's nice."

"Don't get used to it, Tony."

"Got it, Boss."


	4. Sanded

Seven days after the birth of Tony and Ziva's twins...

Tony lies back sleeping in his recliner, both babies on his chest, all three sleeping like babies.

Ziva wakes to find Tony missing, she goes to the babies room and sees Tony and watches them from the doorway

Ziva's mother walks past "Ziva, what are you doing up?

"I was looking for Tony."

"Watch him, Ziva...he's good looking, I don't trust him, look what he did to you."

"MOTHER!"

LJ wakes up

"Oh no..." Ziva rushes in and picks him up, rocking him back and forth

Ziva takes LJ and leaves the room

"For a, what is it called, a man-whore, he makes nice babies."

Ziva sighs...

"I can't believe you gonna marry him, I had one of him before your father, sure, he's better than your father, but not reliable."

"Kalba!"

"How dare you talk to me like that, Ziva!"

"Then quit acting like one." ..as Ziva heads off to her room with LJ in hand

The next day

Gibbs answers his phone, it's from Tony

"Hey, Boss, is there any way possible I can come back early?"

"Why would you want to, DiNozzo?"

"Ziva's mother is driving me freakin' insane."

"It can't be that bad, Tony."

"You wanna bet? This morning, I was taking a shower and I turned around and she was staring at me, then she got in...and let me tell you Boss, I dunno what's worse, the sight of a 60-ish yr. old Israeli woman or the fact Ziva will look like that in 35 years or the fact that she said Ziva wasn't lying about the size of my manhood. Please, Boss, I'd rather be shot at than spend another minute with this crazy woman."

"You still have two weeks left on your paternity leave, DiNozzo."

"Can't I wave it or something, Gibbs?"

"Come on in, DiNozzo, we'll do something."

"Thanks, Boss."

Tony is about to hang up..."Oh wait, Gibbs, I'm sending you some pics over the phone of the boys."

click

"McGee!"

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Show me how to get pics on this damn thing."

Meanwhile at Tony's

After sending the pics, Tony walks out of the nursery and into the kitchen

"Ziva..."...Tony wraps his arms around her waist..."Oh, god...I forgot, are you ok!?"

"I'm fine, I'm no longer in pain." She kisses him..."You're going back to work early aren't you?"

"H-How did you know?"

"I'm amazed you lasted this long...my mother has been awful to you." She puts her head on his chest..."Only five more weeks, Tony."

"Five more weeks?"

"Yes, that's how long the doctor told us to wait."

"Wait for what? Oh, OH! I get it now." Tony laughs..."Baby, don't worry about it, just make sure you're ready."

Tony thinks for a moment..."Hey, I got a great idea, how about we mark that occasion on our honeymoon?"

"You want to get married in 5 weeks?"

"Sure, can you get it ready in that amount of time?"

"Yes, of course." She smiles..."Now go to get ready for work."...smacking him on the butt

Tony walks towards his bedroom...

Ziva walks into the bedroom, as Tony is about to tie his tie.

"No, wear the black one, it goes better with that suit. Wait, I'll get it."

She goes to the closet and picks it out, then walks back and places it around Tony's neck, pulling him down and kissing him

"Are you sure you're gonna be ok alone with your mom?"

"Absolutely"..."she finishes tying his tie..."she loves the kids, just hates you."

"At least there is some good in here."

"True, but don't worry, she'll be out of our hair soon enough."

"I guess you're right."

Ziva brushes off his suit..."Do you have everything?"

"Gun? Check. Knife? Check. Sunglasses? Check. Kiss?" Ziva kisses him.

"Check."

Tony grabs his leather jacket and heads towards the nursery...he picks each of them up, kissing them on forehead, "See ya later, boys!"

Tony walks out and into Sienna's room. "You ok, Sienna?" ..as Tony puts on his jacket

"Yeah." Tony sits next to her on the bed

"I'm sorry if we haven't been paying as much attention to you lately because of the boys and all, but I'll make it up to you. How about you and me go out for ice cream when I get home from work?"

"Really?"

"I promise."

She hugs Tony. Tony leaves for work, only stopping to pet Flotz and kiss Ziva at the door going out to the garage.

Tony arrives at work

"Here you go, Boss." ...handing Gibbs a cup of coffee…"McGee, heads up!" ...tossing him a snickers.

"Right in time, DiNozzo."

"What's up, Boss?"

"Have you read about this serial killer, dubbed the "The Sander?"

"Yeah, I read about him in the paper, isn't there like five victims?"

"It's actually eleven, Tony...and the eleven has just been identified as a retired naval officer."

"Name?"

"Don't know yet, we were just about to go to Abby to find out."

In Abby's Lab

Gibbs and Tony walk in

"What you got, Abby?"

"It took me awhile, Gibbs, but after getting authorization from Director Shepard to search the Naval health record, we came up with a match, she was a retired Lt. Harriet Sims-Roberts."

"That name sounds familiar, Boss."

"Was she married, Abby?"

"Yes, to a...whoa, Commander Bud Roberts, he's a JAG."

"I knew it, Boss...what was her name...ummm, Lieutenant Singer?"

"Yeah, she was a pregnant JAG officer who was murdered, I believe our main suspect was a Commander Rabb, Gibbs."

"Should we pick up Commander Roberts, Boss?"

"Lets see what Ducky has to say first."

Now in the morgue/autopsy

Gibbs and Tony step inside...

"What we got, Ducky?"

"Just awful, Jethro...this woman was sandblasted while alive, the inside of her lungs are literally sanded down to nothing...absolutely horrendous."

Tony examines the head, "what happened to her face, it's half gone."

"The sandblaster was so powerful, it blew away the bones and teeth. The only reason we were able to identify her is because she was in the military. I've read the other autopsy files on his other victims and they were all prostitutes, most likely."

"So, he screwed up?"

"It's possible, this is the first victim who can be positively identified, because of DNA."

"Tony, take McGee and question Commander Roberts."

"On it, Boss."

Still in the morgue

Gibbs looks through the pictures Tony sent him, as Ducky looks over his shoulder.

"Quite handsome, Jethro. Do you know which is which?

"LJ is the better looking one, of course."...Gibbs chuckles..."I honestly have no idea."

"Nor, do I."

"All this talk about sanding has gotten me thinking about teaching them how to build a boat."

"You'll have time for that for years, Jethro."

Ducky thinks to himself..."Sand? Yes, that could be it."

"What are you talking about?"

"I was look at some of the other photos from other crime scene and this sand seems a different consistency and color."

"Well, send a sample up to Abby and send for a sample of their sand."

"Yes and I think I want to see one of the bodies."

"Keep me informed, Ducky." ...as he closes his phone.

Tony and McGee arrive at Commander Robert's house

Tony knocks on the door and a woman answers, she looks to be a maid or nanny

"Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS" Shows her his badge..."...and this is Special Agent Timothy McGee. We'd like to talk to Commander Bud Roberts."

"Yes, please come in...one second, I'll get him."

Commander Roberts walks in, "May I help you?"

"Special Agent DiNozzo, Tim McGee, NCIS." shows him their badges...

"Hey, I remember you from way back, how can I help you?"

"We have some bad news, you may wants to sit down."

Commander Roberts sits down..."I'm sorry to tell you this, but your wife is dead, she was found two days ago and was positively identified today."

"It...it can't be, she's in London visiting friends."

"When did she leave, Commander?"

"Four days ago...and what of my children?"

"Your children?"

"Yes, all four of my children were with her...she just had a baby 5 weeks ago."

"We knew nothing of the children, Commander...my prayers go out to you, though...I just had twins myself."

Tony drops his pen and notices Commander Roberts shoes, with look to have sand on them.

"Commander Roberts, take off your shoes."...Tony motions to McGee... "Probie."

"On it, Tony."

"What? I'm building a sand box for my children."

"When they're not here?"

"It's suppose to be a surprise."

"When were they suppose to come back?"

"Two weeks...look, I have nothing to hide."

"Then take off your shoes."

"Fine." Commander Roberts takes off his shoes and places them in the bag McGee is holding.

"Excuse me for a second."

Tony walks by the front door and calls Gibbs

A couple minutes later...Tony walks back in

"Commander Roberts, you're under arrest for the murder of Harriet Sims-Roberts."

Back at NCIS, the squad room

"He's ready, Boss, he's in interrogation #1...McGee took the sand down to Abby to be analyzed."

"Tony, check his story about the children and when Ducky gets back, get down there and see if he has any new info..."

"...and see if he had any motive to kill his wife, on it, Boss."

Interrogation room #1 - 15 minutes later

A silent Commander Roberts sits, as Gibbs watches him though the 2-way mirror.

Gibbs answers his cell..

"I think I found some motive, Boss. Harriet Sims-Roberts parents died in a car accident 6 months ago...She inherited their entire fortune, 21.3 million dollars, plus 2 houses and numerous other luxuries. She was the only child, Gibbs...still haven't gotten through to London, I'll keep trying."

click

Gibbs walks into the interrogation room and sits across from Commander Roberts, Gibbs just stares at him

Minutes pass by before Commander Roberts says in frustration, "Are you just going to stare at me?"

Gibbs does nothing, just continues to drink his coffee.

Tony arrives in the morgue

"Hey, Ducky, what did you figure out?"

"Whoever killed Harriet Sims-Roberts was a copycat."

Ducky points to the grooves in the body... "See how the widths are different? It's determined by the width of the nozzle on a sandblaster. The first 10 are all the same width, while the last is at least half the width of the others. There's no doubt about it, Harriet Sims-Roberts was not killed by the same machine...they were also much sloppier, look at the straight lines compared to the shaky lines on the last one."

"I dunno if I should be happy or sad, Ducky. Happy in that we might have Harriet Sims-Roberts killer, but sad in that, there's a psycho bastard killing people with a sandblaster still running around out there."

"Aren't you glad you came back to work early?"

"Oh god, absolutely!"

"I heard about Ziva's mother."

"I don't want to talk about it...anyway, how about the sand samples?"

"I brought Abby a sample, I had Mr. Palmer deliver it moments ago."

"Thanks, Ducky."

Tony leaves...

NCIS squad room

Tony's working at his desk, still trying to contact London.

Tony's cell rings..

"Oh, hey Ziva...what's up?

"You're father is here."

"My father is what?"

"You father is here and he wants to see the boys."

Tony is in deep thought...

"Tony!?"

Tony snaps out of it, "Umm...do what you think is best?" Tony answers like he's asking a question

"Tony, I'm more worried about you than anything."

"My father always thought I was a useless bastard...and I suppose he was right some of the time. I could never do anything to make him proud of me."

"Tony..."

Tony interrupts her..."I gotta go, Ziva."

McGee arrives in the squad room...

"Tony, good news.."

Tony stares into space

"Tony?...are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure."

"Yeah, what you got?"

"Abby matched the sand from Commander Roberts shoes to the sand found on and in Harriet Sims-Roberts body. We got him, Tony."

"Go tell, Gibbs."

"I thought you would've wanted, too."

"No, go ahead." ..as he picks up the phone and dials out

McGee leaves to go tell Gibbs

Tony waits as the phone continues to ring..."Come on."

The elevator opens and an Admiral in the United States Navy walks out.

"I'm Rear Admiral Harmon Rabb, Jr. and I'm here for Commander Bud Roberts."

"Let me guess, just in from London? That was pretty quick."

"Well, you know there are advantages to being a former Navy fighter pilot."

"I wouldn't know."

Tony puts down the phone..."So, how can I help you, Rear Admiral?"

"I want to talk to your boss."

"He's busy...you can talk to me or you can wait...and Gibbs just got a new cup of coffee."

"Where exactly is Gibbs, Special Agent.." He looks around his desk..."...so, you're DiNozzo. I've read a lot about you, seems like you've killed a lot of people lately. Did you learn that from Gibbs?"

"Nope."

"NCIS must need agents badly to let you keep your job."

"Harmon.."

"That's Rear Admiral Rabb."

"Well, Harmy...if you're trying to upset me, stop while you're behind, my soon to be mother-in-law is living with us and she scares me a million times worse than you'll ever."

"Ziva David, am I right?"

"What of her?"

"How does it feel to be the less of the two agents in the family?"

"I could say the same about you, Harmy. Oh, what's her name, Sarah MacKenzie? Hey, I dated a Sarah MacKenzie a few years back. I wonder if that could've been her? Marine, right?"...Tony closes his eyes and remembers..."She was nice. Really nice."

"I don't like your attitude."

"Thanks."

Outside interrogation room #1

McGee knocks then opens the door..."Boss, can I have a word with you?"

Gibbs gets up and exits

"What's up, McGee?"

"Abby got the results, the sand collected from Harriet Sims-Roberts and from the Commander's shoes matched."

Gibbs goes back into the room as McGee goes and watches through the 2-way mirror.

Gibbs sits back down, "Commander Roberts, why did you kill her?"

"I didn't kill her."

"The evidence is pretty damning...sand taken from her body and your shoe matched. Can you explain that?"

"I...I must've been set up."

"They all say that."

"Why would I kill my wife?"

"I can think of over 20 million reasons."

Back in the squad room

Tony hangs up the phone, Abby has given him the information about the sands matching

"It doesn't look good for Commander Roberts. The sand from her body matched the sand from shoes we took off him. I just hope he didn't hurt his children, as well."

"How could he? They're in England with my wife and our child."

"Oh really? What's your address?" ...tosses him a piece of paper and pen..."Why did Harriet Sims-Roberts leave them with you?"

"She told me she was looking for a place to live in England." ...as he writes his address down

"How long did she say she'd be gone?"

"Just the day."

"She was leaving the Commander?"

"Not that I'm aware of." ...he hands Tony the address.

"Did you wonder at all why she would be looking for a place to live then?"

"I never really thought of it, to be honest with you."

"Hmmm..." Tony picks up the phone and calls the London NCIS...

"Ok, we should here back from them within the hour."

"Was she cheating on him?"

"God no, they were an amazing couple."

"When exactly did she leave her children with you?"

"Two days ago, in the morning, 0600 hours."

"Hmmm, don't you think it's quite odd that on the same day she was found dead in Washington, D.C., at let me..."...Tony looks through the file..."at 5:17 p.m.?"

Rabb says nothing.

"So, lets recap, she tells you she's gonna be looking for houses to live in England, but she'd be back that day...she leaves her children with you, a 5 week old one, at that...and then ends up in Washington, D.C. with absolute no answer on how she got back into the country, no travel plans, ticket reservation, nothing...then she's found, her face is sanded off completely and that exact sand just happens to match the sand that was on the Commander's shoes? He doesn't need a lawyer, he needs a priest."

"He had to be set up."

"That's what they all say."

Tony's phone rings, it's from the London NCIS

Tony takes a walk to somewhere more private

"Wow, that was fast."

"Special Agent DiNozzo, one of our teams was in the immediate area when you called, they investigated and they have confirmed that Harriet Sims-Roberts children were there."

"They were unharmed?"

"That is correct."

"Why was there a team near their residence?"

"I'm not sure, Sir."

"Ok, hold for a moment."

Tony walks over to Rabb..."I need Commander Roberts children back in America, can your wife escort them?"

"Yeah, sure, but I'd like to have custody of them until Commander Roberts is cleared..."

"...and if he's convicted of murder?"

"He's not guilty."

"That wasn't the question."

"We'll come to that bridge when we cross it then."

"Agreed."

Rabb leaves to make the arrangements.

Interrogation room #1

Tony now standing behind the 2-way mirror with McGee

"Where are my children?"

"You tell me, Commander Roberts."

"They were with my wife."

"When's the last time you spoke with her?"

"Three days ago...look, I didn't kill her...please tell me where my children are!?"

Gibbs drinks his coffee

"How can you just sit there and drink coffee while my kids are missing?"

"Who said they were missing?"

Tony exits and goes next door, he knocks and opens the door

"Gibbs.."

Gibbs gets up and exits once again

"Anything new, DiNozzo?"

"Yeah..." Gibbs stops him...

"Take over for me."

"Boss?"

"Do it."

Tony walks in with Commander Roberts and sits down

"Commander Roberts, you look guilty...all the evidence is against you, your wife's actions before her death are unexplainable. Two days ago, your wife was in England, 15 hours later, she was found dead in Washington D.C. and evidence says you were there and you can't explain it? You were set up?"

Roberts drops his head...

"...and yet, I think you're innocent, Commander Roberts."

"Look, Commander, I need you to be completely and utterly honest with me about everything and I mean everything and if I find out you've lied to me, even in the tiniest of detail, I'll do my damnedest to make sure you get the needle...do you get me?"

"Yes."

"Ok, let me first say, we have found your children, they are fine, they are in England, but they are coming back to Washington. Admiral Rabb is making the travel arrangements."

"Oh, thank god...I'll answer anything."

"Why was your wife and children in England?"

"We had it planned, we were suppose to visit the Admiral Rabb and his family, but I got stuck on a case and they went on without me."

"What case?"

"The marine was killed in a live fire training exercise on Parris Island and the Drill Instructor was brought up on charges of endangering his men. It was a clean and shut case, it's just that it happened exactly when we were suppose to go on vacation."

"Is this case still active?"

"No, it ended yesterday, he took a plea of 2 years at Leavenworth."

"Were you going to join your family in England?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'm not exactly proud of it, but I was happy to be home alone, no kids screaming or crying."

"Any person who has kids can understand that."

Tony looks over his notes..

"You said you were building a sandbox...is that true?"

"Yes, my oldest son has wanted one for the longest time and I actually have the time now, so I decide to make it."

"Where did you get the sand?"

"From a hardware store."

"So, a 50 pounds plus bag?"

"Yes, four of them."

"That must've been hard for you, having only one leg and all."

"It can be difficult, but my brother was there to help."

"Your brother?"

"Yes, Mike...he's in his final year at the Naval Academy."

Tony writes something down in his notes...

"Why would your wife tell Admiral Rabb that she was going to be looking for houses in England?"

"I honestly have no idea."

"Could she have been having an affair?"

"Never."

"You're positive? You're betting your life on it."

"To my knowledge, she was not and the thought of it never even entered my mind."

"How was your marriage, as of late?"

"You just had kids, you know."

"So no sex? Did that make you angry?"

"Angry? No. Less wanted? Absolutely."

"Were you having an affair?"

"God no."

Tony opens up a file

"Have you ever used a sandblaster before?"

"Absolutely not. Look at my hands." he shows his hands, no rough areas at all, no bruises or scrapes, etc. at all. His fingernails are perfectly manicured.

"Did you have any threats or altercations with anyone lately?"

"None."

"How has your wife been since the death of her parents?"

"Not good, she almost lost the baby because of it."

"One last question...who gets custody of the kids if you were to die or go to jail?"

"My brother."

Tony gets up and leaves…

"Nice job, Tony." Gibbs replies as he steps out of the 2-way room meeting Tony in the hall..."Get a search warrant for his brother's place and when you have it, take McGee with you.

"On it, Boss."

Housing near the Naval Academy

Tony and McGee arrive with warrant...Tony knocks on the front door

A man opens the door

"Michael Roberts? NCIS," Shows badge

"No, I'm his roommate, he's out on a date."

"We have a search warrant, please step out for me."

He steps out and McGee starts to look around.

"Do you know where he went?"

"Yeah, it's a little cafe done the street, maybe 2 miles."

"Has he been acting weird lately?"

"Not that I've noticed. He did just break up with his long time girlfriend, though."

"Then who is he out on a date with then?"

"He said with someone he met online."

"Hey Tony, his laptop is here."

"Good, take it...take everything."

Tony starts looking around and sees a picture of Commander Roberts standing next to a naval cadet."

"Hey..." Tony turns to his roommate..."Is this Michael Roberts?"

"Yes."

"Wow, this guy looks like that crazy-ass bastard Chip who framed me for murder...I hate that guy."

"Probie, get everything back to Abby and you and her work on that laptop."...McGee frozen..."NOW!"

"On it, Boss, errr, Tony."

McGee leaves with everything

"A Cafe, huh? What's the name of it?"

"Sunset Safe"

"Ok, here's my card, if you think of anything else." Tony hands his card

Tony outside of the Sunset Cafe

Tony walks in, still holding the picture of Commander Roberts and his brother...walks to the cashier

"Have you seen the man on the left?" Tony holds up the pic

"Yes, he's in all the time...usually every other day, with a new girl."

"Is he here now?"

"Yes, he's back by the bathrooms." She points

Tony nods and puts the picture away...Tony walks over to him

"Michael Roberts?"

"Yes."

"Special Agent DiNozzo. Please come with me."

"What is this about?"

"Your brother...he's been arrested for the murder of his wife."

"Harriet's dead? No. It can't be."

"Does your date need a ride home?"

"What date?"

"Who's plate is that then?"

"It was there, when I sat down."

Tony looks at his plate...half way eaten

"You know what I hate Mr. Roberts?"

"What's that?"

"Liars...and guys that look like Chip, but especially guys who look like Chip that lie."

"What?"

"You're under arrest."

"For what?"

"Pissing me off."

Tony grabs him, pushing him against the wall and handcuffing him.

"This is police brutality"

"No this is what you get for lying to me."

Tony motions to the waitress..."he'll be needing his check."

She brings him his check..."Oh look, two meals. $13.50? Here let me get your wallet out..."

Tony looks at her nametag, reading April..."Well, April it's your lucky day, he only has a 50. Keep the change."

"Hey, you can't do that."

"Do what?"...he motions to April again, "can I get a couple clean bags please."

She comes back with the bags.

"One last favor, if you would." Tony hands her a latex glove..."could you be a dear and place his MISSING date's plate and glass in those bags for me."

She places the plate in one ziplock bag and does the same to the glass and then hands them to Tony

"Thank you, April."

Tony marches Michael Roberts out of the cafe..."This is entrapment."

"Shut up, Chip."

"Who the hell is Chip!?"

"Thanks for the tip!"

Back at NCIS

Tony places Michael Roberts in interrogation #2.

"Why is he handcuffed, DiNozzo?"

"He lied to me."

"You can arrest someone for lying to you."

"He also pissed me off."

Gibbs shrugs, "I've done it."

"This guy is a scumbag."

"Hey, he looks like that guy who framed you for murder, Tony."

"Yes, I know Gibbs...God, I hated that guy."

"That was the real reason you arrested him, wasn't it?"

"No, that's the reason he paid 50 bucks for a 15 dollar meal."

"That must've pissed him off."

"Yep, but it made April happy."

"Go down and see if Abby and McGee have found out anything."

"You got it, Boss."

Abby's lab

Tony arrives with caf-pow in hand

"What you got, Abs?"...handing the caf-pow to Abby

"Wow, Tony, you're becoming more and more like Gibbs everyday...if your hair starts turning gray, I may have to start stalking you...again."

"Again, Abby?"

"Yeah, Tim...when I was dating you. "

"Hey! That's not funny!"

"Children!"

"Ooh, you're turning me on, Tony."

"Heh...I do that to the ladies."

Tony smacks McGee in the back of the head

"What was that for?"

"For what you were thinking."

"But I wasn't thinking anything."

"Exactly."

"OOH! OOH! OOH! Can I tell you what I was thinking Tony?"

"Is it PG-13? Tim is sensitive, ya know?"

"Aww, I better not then."

"Just tell me later."

Tim sighs...

Tony rubs McGee's head, "What did you find out about the laptop?"

"He was addicted to porn."

"He's a man, Abby...of course he's addicted to porn. What else?"

"He had 324 people on his buddy list and he talk almost every night with someone different, we have the transcripts, he saved them ALL, there must be a million of them."

"Good luck with that, McGee."

"What about everything else?"

"We found sand on his shoe and it does match the sand taken from his brother's shoe and on the victim"

"That's good, but unfortunately his brother is his alibi for that."

Tony walks to the other side of Abby

"What about the DNA or fingerprints from his date's plate/glass?"

"Not back yet, I'll call you when I know."

"Thanks, Abs."...rubs McGee head once again then starts to walk out..."You too, Timmy!"

The elevator door opens.."Ani ohevet otcha."...click

Tony steps off the elevator and walks towards interrogation

Tony's cell rings

"Tony, we got the DNA results."

Tony hangs up...

the elevator opens and Tony walks out

"What's the word, Abs?"

"I ran the DNA through CODIS and got a hit."

"Well?" Abby pushes a key on her computer

The picture and profile of Sarah MacKenzie pops up.

"No way."

"Yes way, Tony."

"I did date her."

"What?"

"Nevermind...Rabb is getting his ass kicked."

Tony busts through interrogation room #2's door, grabbing Mike Roberts by the throat and pushing him against the wall

"Michael...if you lie to me again, I will send you somewhere so deep, so dark, so dirty...your ass will never see light ever again."

Michael starts to say something, but Tony stops him.

"SHUT THE HELL UP...you talk when I say you can and only then...do you understand? Nod if you understand."

He nods

"Sarah MacKenzie. Speak."

He's silent

Tony squeezes harder

"ok, ok..."

Tony squeezes harder..."Did I give you permission to talk?"

Michael nods to the sides

"Go."

"She...she...called me, she wanted to talk about something."

"What?"

"I don't know."

Tony starts to squeeze harder

Michael chokes

"Want some more? Talk."

Michael struggles..."She was having an affair"

"With who?"

"Harriet." Tony lets go...as Michael starts to cough

"Sit your ass down." ...as Tony leaves

"He's lying, DiNozzo."

"Yeah, I know, Boss...he looked down and to the left when he said it."

"Why'd you stop?"

"I dunno, Gibbs...I want to kill the bastard."

"The Chip thing still bothering you?"

"Yeah, it's freaky. I dunno how you do it, Boss."

"I've been doing it 20 years, DiNozzo...you get used to dirtbags, just kick 'em in the ass, makes ya feel better."

Tony sighs..

"Boss, Rabb is back."

"I got the Roberts', Tony...take Rabb."

"On it, Boss."

"Tony..."

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Calm down..."

Tony walks into the squad room and standing in the middle of the room are Admiral Rabb and Sarah MacKenzie.

Tony sits at his desk and puts his head down

Sarah sees him and recognizes him immediately

"Mr. DiNozzo?"

"No, Harm, I'd rather talk to another agent."

"Why, Mac?"

Tony raises his head..."Because she's had sex with me before, Harmy."

Harm looks at Mac and she looks away

"Long time no see, Sarah."

"Are you still an immature sex-crazed movie-holic?"

"I'm working on the immaturity, but yeah...but hey, I have 3 kids now."

"Wow, THE TONY DiNOZZO has kids?"

"Believe me, I'm more shocked than you."

"Wow, it's like you're a different person, but you look the same."

"Yeah, well..."...Tony pauses..."Please stay here, I'll be right back."

Tony heads to Abby's lab...

Tony steps out of the elevator...and heads right for Abby

"Abby, I need you do some things for me, but you need to keep them on the down low right now."

"Of course, Tony...what can I do?"

Tony grabs a pen and write on a piece of paper..."I need to your check into these things."

Abby looks at them..."You're kidding right?"

"Dead serious." ...Tony writes something else on the paper..."also see where he is right now."

Abby looks at Tony like he's completely insane

"I'm serious, Abby."

"Ok, Tony...I'll do it for you and I'll let you know when I get the results."

"Thanks, Abs." ...kissing her on the cheek and Tony leaves

"I hope you know what you're doing Tony."

Tony stands in the middle of the elevator, he takes out his cell and calls Ziva

ring...ring...ring...ring...their answering machine at home picks up

"The Big D isn't home right now, he's out gettin' it done. But hey, leave a massage and if you're lucky he'll be out gettin' done with you next time...beep..." Tony hits the emergency button, stopping the elevator

Ziva sits in a chair by the answering machine listening...

"Umm, damn, I guess we need to change that, huh?"...Tony pauses..."It's only been 6 hours, but I miss you so badly."...Tony sighs..."My arms feel so empty without you in them."..."God, I miss your smell, the taste of your lips...your voice, your beautiful voice."...Tony sighs once again..."You were right, I need someone to listen..."...Ziva goes to pick up the phone...

"I love you..." ...and Tony hangs up..

"I feel it in my gut, Boss."

"You sure that's not the 13 pieces of pizza you had for lunch, DiNozzo?"

"I know it."

"All right, run with it Tony."

Tony walks into interrogation room #1

"Commander Roberts...have you recently had any strange things happen to you or around your house?"

"My alarm has gone off more times this week than it's ever gone off before, but it usually turned out to be my kid brother."

"He doesn't have a key? passcode?"

"Yes."

"...and he still sets off the alarm?"

Roberts shrugs, "Yeah, I guess."

"Does your brother have a storage locker or anything like that?"

"Why do you ask?"

"He's lied to us, Commander...he told us Harriet was having an affair with Sarah MacKenzie."

"What?"

"Did he have a storage locker or anything?"

"Not to my knowledge."

Tony thinks for a moment..."Damn it, Tony...why didn't you think of that earlier?"

"What are you talking about?"

Tony exits..

"McGee, I need some help, come with me."

"Boss?"

"Go ahead, Tim."

Tony and McGee leave...

One Hour Later...

Gibbs walks into interrogation room #1

"Commander Roberts, you are free to go...but please come with me, you do not want to miss this."

Gibbs takes Commander Roberts into the 2-way room looking into interrogation room #2

"What is this all about?"

"You'll see."

30 minutes earlier..

"McGee, hand me those bolt cutters."

McGee hands them to Tony and he cuts off the lock to storage #102 and they lift the door

"That's a sandblaster isn't it, Probie?"

"Sure is, but how did you know?"

"I never forget someone who hates me."

10 minutes before that

Tony on his cell...

"I got those results, Tony...you were right about everything and I found that storage you wanted, it's off the Beltway, 3rd street, storage #102."

"I owe you big time, Abby."

click

Present time, back at NCIS

McGee walks into the 2-way mirror room, looking into interrogation #2, leading Rabb, Mac, Ducky and the Director in.

"So, what's this all about, Gibbs?"

"Tony solved it, Jen."

"So, my brother killed my wife?"

"No..."

Tony walks into the 2-way mirror room...

"You guys ready for the show?"

"You don't have your weapons do you, DiNozzo."

"Nope, locked in my desk, Boss."

"Good."

Tony exits...and walks into the interrogation room #2

"Get the hell away from me, man. I want a lawyer."

"You've been declared a terrorist by our government, you no longer have any rights."

"What?"

Tony places an image in front of Michael

"This is your storage locker, #102."

Tony places another photo

"This is the sandblaster we found inside the locker."

"I've never see that locker or sandblaster before."

Tony backhands him

-------

"Was that really necessary, Agent Gibbs?"

"Hey, I made sure he didn't have his weapons with him."

-------

"What did I tell you about lying to me, Michael?"

"That you'd send me to some dark place or something."

"So, you were kinda listening, but unfortunately for you, your boarding pass to there has been downgraded to hell, on the needle express."

Tony places another photo, showing the sandblaster grooves matching to the grooves on Harriet Sims-Roberts body

"Look, more evidence against you."

Tony places a piece of paper..."ok, this is where you were gonna get away with this, Mikey...your fingerprints and DNA don't match."

"Of course, they don't, I didn't do it. I told you that."

Tony backhands him again

"Guess what? I know your secret."

"What secret?"

"Brookville State Hospital"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Tony backhands him again

"You know. Six months into your prison sentence, you got a judge to transfer you there, claiming you were insane."

Tony places another piece of paper.

"See?"

"My fingerprints or DNA still don't match, do they?"

"Aww, no...they didn't, but...you're gonna love this."

Tony turns around..."Abby if you would, please come in here."

Abby walks out of the 2-way mirror room and into the interrogation room

"Abby, please tell us the bad news for Mr. Roberts."

"No bad news for Mike Roberts, Tony...only good, but very bad news for Chip."

"How so, Abby?"

"Well, Tony, Chip didn't think we'd keep hard copies of Chip's DNA or fingerprints...Chip wasn't able to change those."

"You're telling me, this isn't Michael Roberts?"

"No, it's Chip."

"Chip?"

"Yes, Chip."

"My name is not Chip, it's Charles."

"But I thought it was Michael, Chip?"

"Damn it, stop calling me, Chip!"

"Chip is a cool name, Chip, it rhymes with dip, Chip."

"Oh lord, the lad has gone a little overboard, I must say."

"Who the hell is Chip?"

"He's a guy who framed Tony for a murder last year, his name is Charles Sterling."

"...and where is my brother?"

"Aww, he's fine Commander, he was at the state hospital, he was being heavily medicated, since everyone thought he was Chip and he kept saying he wasn't. It was actually a brilliant plan."

"Then how did he get caught?"

"His hatred for DiNozzo, it seems. When he flew over to England, he used the alias Anthony DiNozzo and they checked the airport surveillance cameras and got a picture of him."

"Why did he kill my wife, Agent Gibbs?"

"Money. He was going to kill you, as well. If you died, the children would've went to him, therefor, he would've had control over the money. Thankfully for you, he didn't have the right passcode and I guess he thought he couldn't chance it. It's very lucky DiNozzo and McGee showed up when they did."

"Stop calling me, Chip!"

Tony knocks on the door..."someone take this piece of crap out of my sight."

Two NCIS agents come in and take him out the door...

"Burn in hell, Chip." ...as Tony walks out with Abby under his arm in the opposite direction.

"Ugh, I'm finally finished...I hate paperwork, Boss."

Tony looks up and realizes, he's the only one there

Tony looks at his watch...10:06 p.m.

"Damn..."

Tony puts a copy of his report on Gibbs desk and locks one in his desk, then grabs his jacket and bag and leaves..

Tony stops at a convenience store, he runs in and comes out with a bag.

Tony arrives at home and is greeted at the door by Ziva.

"Tough day?"

"It was long...but it was a good day. Yours?"

"Fine. I didn't let your father see the boys. I told him he had to work things out with you first."

"What did he say?"

"He wasn't thrilled, but he said, whatever it takes."

"That doesn't sound like him at all."

"Things change, Tony."

"How about your mom?"

"I'm not Jesus."

"That was wrong on so many levels."

Ziva sticks her tongue out at Tony

"Come to bed, Tony."

"In a minute...a promise is a promise."

Tony goes to the kitchen and grabs 2 spoons and goes into Sienna's room

"Wake up, honey."

She starts to wake up.

"I keep my promises"...handing her a spoon.

Ziva comes to the door…"May I join you?"

Sienna nods her head as she eats her ice cream

Ziva sits next to Tony...Tony feeds her a bite...

"What, no cookies?"

Tony looks at her funny...

"Don't look at me like that, I like cookies."

"Me, too." Sienna whispers.

Tony looks at them both, "Me, three."


	5. NCIS Wedding: DiNozzo Style

NCIS Wedding: DiNozzo-style

Four weeks later...Wednesday, three days until wedding...

"Special Agent DiNozzo, today is our last appointment isn't it?"

Tony sits down..."I believe it is. You're gonna miss me aren't you?"

"In a matter words, yes."

"I start to grow on ya, don't I?"

"Yeah...like a tick."

"Heh...I love it when the head doc gets a sense of humor"

"Now, for the reason we're here...how do you think your angry is at this moment?"

"Fine and I've never thought I had an anger problem."

"You didn't slap around anyone in interrogation?"

"Only dirtbags and people who deserved it."

She looks through papers

"Even so, violence is the best solution?"

"For my line of work? It definitely comes in handy."

"So, you don't have a problem with anything you've done?"

"Nope, I did what I thought was right...how I was taught...and I was taught by the best."

"Speaking of Gibbs, do you still deny getting smacked on the head numerous times by him?"

"Never happened."

"So, anger isn't a problem for you outside the job?"

"Absolutely not."

"How's fatherhood?"

"Amazing. Simply amazing."

She smiles..."I'm glad to hear that...do you get enough rest at home?"

"I get enough."

"Does it anger you when the babies cry constantly at night, keeping you from sleeping?"

"Crying means they need us and to be needed is the greatest thing."

"Well, Mr. DiNozzo...lets wrap our final meeting a little early."

"What no sex questions? Those are your favorite!"

"I think...I've heard enough about your sex life, it certainly puts mine to shame."

"You didn't say that when you wanted me to go into detail last week."

"Well, I needed to know last week."

"Oh, so the gears have been lubed now, huh?"

She quickly stands..."Thank you for coming, Mr. DiNozzo."

"I could stick around if you wanted me to, I have more stories."

"Please, for the love of God...go."

"I'll tell you about the time I went white water rafting in college with THE Ohio State girls volleyball team."

"ANTHONY!"

Tony stands up, "Ok, I'm going."

"Maybe you should sign up for some more appointments?"

"Heh...you wanna hear the story, don't ya?"

Tony starts to walk out..."Oh, here's an invitation to my wedding, if you wanted to go. It's an open bar, so even if the only thing you want to do is get ripped for free, it worth coming. That's why Gibbs is going."...he hands it to her and leaves..

"He'll be back..."

Tony walks into the squad room...

"Right on time, DiNozzo...we have a case. McGee, fill him in." ..as they all walk towards the elevator

"Supposively a marine was kill in a Chinese restaurant."

"Supposively?"

"Yeah, they aren't sure. Apparently they found marine fatigues near the body. From what we hear, it's a bloody crime scene." ..the elevator door closes

Now in the car

"Boss, did you get your tux?"

"Not yet."

"Me either."

"Tony, you're get married in three days and you don't have your tux yet!?"

"Nope...I take it you have your penguin suit, McGee?"

"Yes, Ducky and I went last Thursday."

"Is Ruby coming with you, McGee? Ziva said you plus oned."

"Yeah, we're dating again."...he pauses..."Don't say it, Tony."

"Say what?"

"Probably about him falling asleep on Ruby."

"Boss!"

"Why do you think I drink coffee so much, McGee?"

"I dunno."

"I always thought it was because you couldn't drink Jack at work, Boss."

"Good guess, DiNozzo."

They turn into the Panda Buffet Chinese Restaurant parking lot

"Oh man, this is Ziva's favorite Chinese restaurant."

"I come here, too, Tony...I love their eggrolls."

They all get out and duck under the police tape and walk inside

"Look likes the murder wasn't in the dining area, Boss."

"Ya think, DiNozzo?"

They walk into the kitchen and see a man hanging from a hook naked, his back to the camera, blood covers most of the kitchen floor.

McGee puts his hand over his mouth and rushes out the door and the sound of vomiting is heard.

"I guess he won't be eating here again, Boss."

"You all right, Probie?" Tony pats him on the back

"His...his thing is gone."

"Thing?"...looks back at the body..."Oh, his thing." Tony cringes..

"His eyes are gone, too."

"So, what we got here, a body part snatcher, Boss?"

Gibbs calls Ducky

"All right, Ducky said he'll be here in 10 minutes, so we got 20 minutes until he's actually here, lets look around, but no touching the body."

McGee again runs to the other room and vomits..."Probie's not looking so good, Boss." Tony goes out and checks on McGee

Gibbs walks over and examines the body, being careful not to step into the blood

"Boss, I got a couple bloody shoe prints by the back door, definitely not a marine boot...Nike Air logo." Tony takes a few pictures and takes a blood sample from the floor.

"I'm ok, Boss. Sorry."

"Talk to the owner, McGee."

"Got it, Boss."

"Hey, Gibbs...look up."

Gibbs looks up and sees a bloody cleaver stuck into the ceiling.

"The ceiling is about 10 foot, Boss." Taking some pics of the cleaver

"I don't like the look of this DiNozzo."

"Why, because our killer could be 8 foot tall?"

"No, I got blood on my favorite jacket."

"Man, I hate when that happens...hey, aren't we suppose to get new NCIS jackets soon?"

Gibbs closes a door..."Tony, get over here and take some pictures of this."

Tony walks over..."Voodoo, Boss?" Tony starts to take pictures of what seems to be a pentagram.

McGee walks back in..."...all she said was that, she opened up the door and she went into the kitchen and saw him and she ran across the street to the Laundromat and called the police. LEOs arrived 5 minutes later and they called NCIS 10 minutes later, because of the marine clothing."

"Tony, go look outback and take McGee with you."

"Come on, Probie..."

Gibbs looks at the body again..."He's definitely a marine, has a marine tattoo...what the hell happened to you?"

"Aww, Jethro, we need to stop meeting like this."

"Get to work, Ducky."

Ducky starts to examine the body, he places a thermometer in his liver...and checks out the rest of the body..

"TOD, Duck?"

"Six or seven hours, Gibbs."

"COD?"

"He bled out from the gash from his privates...the eyes were take post-mortem, Jethro."

"Any idea what was used?"

"It definitely wasn't from a knife, the cut isn't smooth, very jagged, almost like it was torn off."

"Did he just say his thing was torn off, Boss?" Tony cringes again...

"You find anything DiNozzo?"

"McGee found some bloody rope in the trash dumpster. We bagged it."

"Ducky...take the bod.."...McGee screams as Tony turns towards the door and runs to him..

"Boss, McGee found the marine's you know what...well, some of it."

"I grabbed it, Tony...with my hand, I didn't recognize it right away, then I freaked out and I threw it and it bounced off the side and landed on my bill of my cap."

"What the hell were you doing, playing catch Probie?"

Tim shakes..."Come on, Tim, get out of there. I'll get it."

"Thank you, Tony."

"Tony jumps in and grabs it and places it in a bag...you owe me big time, Probie."

"...any sign of the eyes?"

"I didn't see any, Boss, but I just got in there. You see them, McGee?"

Tim, still traumatized..."McGEE!"

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Eyes. Did you find any?"

"No."

"Hey, Ducky"...Tony handing him the bag..."I'll keep looking for the eyes, Boss."

"Come on, McGee. You've seen enough for the day."

twenty minutes later...

"Been all through the dumpster, Boss...no eyes."

"Ducky took the body back, go back and see if he finds out anything else."

"Where you gonna be?"

"Hosing off McGee." ...taking McGee by the arm

"Good luck, Timmy." ..as Tony leaves

Tony arrives at the morgue...

"Aww, Mr. DiNozzo, how is the wedding coming?"

"Honestly, Ducky, I have no idea, she's taking care of all of it."

"Smart man, very smart."

"You find anything out, Ducky?"

"His penis was bitten off."

"Ouch, by a dog or something?" Tony cringes

"No, Tony...the teeth marks look human."

"What!?"

"Yes, I took samples and sent them up to Abigail, hopefully we get DNA from saliva."

Tony making a painful face..."that's just awful, Ducky."

"Indeed and sadly, this happens more times than you'd think."

"Really?"

"I've worked on a couple myself. Usually they're in domestic violence cases."

"Remind me not to piss off Ziva."

"Awww, our dear Ziva wouldn't do that, Tony."

"Oh really? Right after the first time we made love, I went to take a shower and she joined me, she wasn't there for any leftover sex, she was there to imply her will and when I say will, I mean fear towards my private area. She kneed me in the groin, knelt across me and told me if I ever cheated she'd turn big D into no D..."

"She was just trying to scare you, Tony."

"She did a damn good job, Ducky...especially when she pulled the knife."

"Oh dear...and what did you say?"

"Help me!"

"You're screwed."

"I know, but thanks for stating the obvious, Ducky."

"Anyway, back to our marine...there was some trace in his left eye socket, looked like metal scrapings...I sent them up to Abby...I also found some possible needle holes on his neck."...Ducky points to them.."...so, it's possible he was drugged."

"Anything else?"

"Yes, he had some kind of sticky substance in his hair, Abigail has it, as well."

"Ok, let me know if you find anything else out."

Tony leaves...

Tony sits at his desk in the squad room

His phone rings and its Ziva

"It's set up, Tony...are you sure about this?"

"Absolutely."

"Are you sure you don't want me to be there?"

"No, I have to do it alone...what's the address?"

Tony writes it down

"Do you need anything, Zivalicious?"

"Nooner."

"Only a couple more days, Ziva."

"It's getting harder and harder to wait."

"It'll be worth it, I promise."

"It better be." She hangs up

"Man, I better eat my wheaties."

The elevator door opens and Gibbs walks out with a soaken McGee right behind him.

"You all right, Probie?" Tony tosses him a duffel bag..."These are my back-up clothes, ruin them and die, McGee."

McGee takes the bag and gets back into the elevator.

"What did Ducky tell ya, Tony?"

Tony tells him everything that Ducky told him...

"Bitten off, huh? That's a first for me."

"The thought of it still makes me cringe."

"Do I have to hose you off, too, DiNozzo?"

"That's ok, Boss...I remember the feeling, I'll pass on that, thanks."

"Anything from Abby yet?"

"Nothing yet."

Tony gets up and walks over to Gibbs...

"Boss, what was your father like?"

"What?"

"Oh, I'm just having lunch with my father today and I'm dreading it, I suppose."

"He can't hurt you, Tony."

"I know that, it's just that he thinks of me as a huge disappointment."

"That's his problem, he failed you, not the other way around. If anything, he disappointed himself."

"I'm not scared of anything, Boss...except him."

"You're not a child anymore, DiNozzo, snap out of it!" Gibbs stands up and smacks him on the back of the head...

"Thanks, Boss."

"Of course, I could go with you and kneecap him, if you want."

"Tonya Harding, huh?"

"Who?"

"She was an ice skate...nevermind..."

"Tony..."

"Yeah, Boss?"

Gibbs points to his head

"Got it, Boss."

Tony leaves to go have lunch with his father..

Tony sits at a small table in a small out of way Italian restaurant, he's been waiting there for some time, only ice remains in his glass

Tony takes his cell out of his pocket and starts to dial...

"Anthony?" ...as a tall, older gentleman in a double-breasted suit walks up

"Yes?"

"How are you, my son?" ...as he comes closer, more into view, the lighting inside is quite on the dark side.

"Father?"

"Yes, it's me." ...as he takes a seat across from Tony, he looks exactly like Tony, except for graying hair along his temples and maybe weighing 50 more pounds than him. Two men stand in the background.

"I heard you went to see my sons awhile back."

"I tried, that woman of yours...very nice, Anthony. But her mother...rompipalle!"

"...and then some."

"Oh, I bet...how have you been?"

"Do you honestly care?"

"Sure I do, I admit it, I messed up, but you're my only child and you now have kids, it should be a happy time for our family."

"Is that the only reason you want me in your life now, because of my children?"

"I won't lie, it's a big reason...that's for sure. Hey, I opened up your trust fund, didn't I?"

"That was mine to be begin with, mom was the one from money."

"Hey, don't be like that."

"Be like what, you've treated me like crap my entire life."

"What, it's wrong to raise a child to be strong?"

"Congratulations...I'm strong and I fear nothing, except failing and disappointing you."

"Come on, Anthony...it wasn't always that bad."

"Sure wasn't good, you made me dress up as a civil war soldier and carry a crap bucket around and people called me the little pooper boy. I was 10, dad...freakin' 10."

"I bought you things, I spoiled you rotten."

"You tried to buy my love and after awhile I gave in, because that was the only thing I was ever gonna get from you."

"I tried, Anthony...after you mother died, things were hard on me."

"Oh come on, you had a new woman every week and people wonder why I've had commitment problems in the past."

"Hey, you're a DiNozzo...the ladies love us...and...I can't stop living just because your mother died."

"Do you even miss her?"

"Oh course, I do...what kind of question is that?"

"What color were mom's eyes?"

"I don't know, I don't remember."

"How can you forget about something like that?"

"Fine, Anthony...I'm a bastard, what do you want from me? Want me to kill myself?"

Tony sighs..."It's too late for that, the damage is already done."

"What can I do, Anthony...please tell me, I'll do anything!?"

"I dunno, dad...I dunno if there's anything you can do."

"Give me a chance, Anthony...I'm beggin' ya. Look, let me come to your wedding, let me show you I can change. I promise you, you won't regret it."

Tony runs his fingers through his hair..."Fine, dad...come to my wedding and after that, we'll talk again, but I swear to god, if you do anything to make me regret this...you will never see your grandchildren EVER."

"That's all I wanted to hear...I won't fail you, Anthony."

"No, dad...don't fail yourself."

Mr. DiNozzo waves at the waiter..."Ciao!"

The waiter comes over...

"Give my son the veal parmesan, it's too die for!"

"Excellent and for you, sir?"

"I have business, Anthony...I won't be staying, it was great to see you."

Mr. DiNozzo gives Tony a soft smack on the face..."Be good, my boy." ...and he leaves.

25 minutes later, after Tony finishes eating

"How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing, sir...it was on the house."

"Oh, thank you." Tony pulls out a 5 and hands it to him..."here's a tip."

"Grazie!"

Tony walks out of the building and heads toward his car, when a van speeds up next to him and 3 guys dressed all in black, with masks on jump out and grab Tony and push him inside, where they give him a shot in the neck, knocking him out.

The man in the passenger seat motions to one of the men in the back to get him Tony's phone.

He opens it up and dials a number...ring...ring...ring...

Ziva answers, "I was just thinking about you Tony."

silence..

"Tony?"

silence...

"Tony are you there?"

"Shalom, Ziva..."

"Father?"

Tony sits handcuffed to a chair, his head covered with a black hood in a darkened room, he's still unconscious.

A man, his face now unmasked brings a tray over to the left of Tony and places several items, including a syringe, a bottle of some drug, a scalpel, artery clips, amongst other things.

The leader of the men searches through Tony's wallet, then tosses it in a box with the rest of Tony's things..."Wake him up."

Tony is given a shot, which brings him around...Tony's head starts to move slightly...

"Mr. DiNozzo..."

Tony doesn't answer...

"Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo..."

Tony still struggles...now looking through Tony's eyes and all you see is darkness...Tony lets out a soft moan...

The leader slaps Tony in the face four times..."Wake up!"

Tony shakes his head..."Where am I?"

"Finally, Mr. DiNozzo...you're awake."

"Who are you?"

The leader backhands Tony in the face..."I ask the questions here."

Tony starts to shake his whole body...trying to get loose...

"Stop or I'll continue hitting you."

"What are you, a coward? Is the only way you can beat someone up is by tying them up?"

"Stop, I've had more years of training than you've been alive."

"Man, you must be old."

The leader backhands him again.

"No sense of humor, I see."

"Do not test me, Special Agent DiNozzo."

"Ok, you know my name, who are you?"

He backhands him again...

Meanwhile at NCIS, Abby's Lab

Gibbs steps off the elevator

"What you got, Abs?" ...handing her a caf-pow

"Absolutely no prints, not a one."

"Professional."

"You get a name?"

"He's Sgt. James Dixon, he was in the middle of a transfer, coming from Camp Pendleton."

"What was his last assignment, Abby?"

"He was second in command of their supply."

"What else, Abs?"

"The DNA on his penis was female and I ran it through CODIS and it came back to a known prostitute, Rachel Ridgeway. Here's her address." ...Abby hands Gibbs a piece of paper with the info on it.

"Was anything in his system?"

"Yes, erowid methaqualone..."

"Quaaludes, Abs?"

"Yes."

"What about the gum in his hair."

"Strawberry and it also had Ridgeway's DNA in it."

"Anything else?"

"Oh the scrapings from his eye sockets came back as aluminum shavings."

"Like from something that's been milled out?"

Abby shrugs...

Gibbs leaves and enters the squad room...

"What...DiNozzo isn't back yet?"

"I've tried calling him three times in the past 10 minutes, Boss."

"Lets go, McGee...we need to pay a visit to a hooker."

"Boss?"

"Off your ass, McGee!"

They leave via elevator...

Back to Tony

"You hit like a girl, grandpa."

"HAHAHA"

"What's so funny?"

"In my language it's Zaide."

"Why would I care how to say grandpa in some stupid foreign language."

The leader speaks Hebrew to his men...Tony is silent...

Ziva arrives at NCIS, all 3 of the children with her.

"Sienna, hit that button for me."

Sienna hits the button and they step into the elevator...they get off on the squad room floor, but no one is there..

"Stay close, Sienna." ...as Ziva carried the boys up the stairs to the director's office.

"Ziva, what you doing here?"

"Where's Gibbs?"

"I dunno, have you called him?"

"I can't, my phone might be bugged."

"What are you talking about?"

"I think my father kidnapped Tony."

"What!?" Jenny picks up the phone and calls Gibbs

Ziva hangs up the phone..."You can't tell him anything about this...just tell him to come here."

"We're in NCIS, I think things are secure."

"I don't want to take a chance, Director. Please."

"Fine..."...she picks up the phone and calls Gibbs, but he doesn't answer...so, she called McGee and tells him to get back here ASAP.

"Thank you, Director."

Gibbs and McGee inside Ridgeway's apartment

"Tell me about the marine you had a date with last night?"

"Someone paid me 1500 bucks to show him a good time, he was at motel, I went in, I did my thing, then left. It was over in about 2 hours."

"Who paid you?"

"Some older guy, weird accent."

"Think you can go with the police and give a description?"

McGee's cell rings...he walks into another room and answers it...

"No, but he did give me the money, I still have one of the hundreds he gave me."

"Can I have it?"

"You got a hundred to replace it?"

"McGee?"

"Yeah, Boss?"

"You got a hundred dollar bill?"

"Yeah, I think so, Boss...why?"

"Give me it."

McGee takes the hundred out of his wallet and hands it to Gibbs...he then hands it to her and takes the hundred from her with a latex glove.

"Get this back to Abby, Tim."

"Boss, that was the director...she wants us back, ASAP."

"Lets go then."

They head back...

Back at NCIS

Abby now in the director's office

"Why are the kids here, Ziva?" Abby asked

"I can't trust my mother."

"Why?"

"She's very submissive to my father. She'll fold like lawn post."

"Lawn chair"

"Whatever..."

"Why do you think your father kidnapped Tony, Ziva?"

"I got a call from Tony's cell and it was my father."

"Was he invited to the wedding?"

"No. He shouldn't be in the country."

"It's gonna be ok, Ziva...Gibbs will take care of this." Abby gives her a hug

LJ starts to cry..."May I?"...Ziva nods to Jenny...Jenny picks him up and starts rocking him..."Shhh, sweetheart, shhhh."

Back to Tony

Tony struggles to get loose

"Tisheeteki!" ...as Tony is backhanded again.

Tony moves his jaw around, popping it..."My 5 year old daughter hits harder than you!"

Tony is punched in the face...

"A lot harder."

He's punched again

"This is getting boring."

One of the men takes a gun out, cocks it and points it at Tony, "Stom ta pe!"

"I hope your aim is better than punching."

The leader grabs the gun as the gun fires, barely missing Tony. "Tembel!"

"I guess not."

The leader kicks Tony in the chest, he falls backwards, hitting his head, knocking him out...

Gibbs and McGee arrive back at NCIS

"Get that bill down to Abby now, McGee."

"On it, Boss." ...as Tim gets back on the elevator

Gibbs goes up the stairs and sees Ziva and the kids

"What are all you doing here? As something happened to Tony?"

"I think my father kidnapped him."

"What? Why in the hell would the director of Mossad kidnap Tony."

Ziva stands there pointing at herself, then her kids.

"Oh...I take it he shares your mother's opinions of Tony."

"Obviously worse, Jethro." ...as Jenny puts LJ back in his car seat...

"Help me, Gibbs...I'm afraid for Tony and my children..."

"Ziva...no harm with come to them..." ...Gibbs notices Abby..."McGee just took something down to your lab for analyzation."

"I'll go down there right now, Gibbs." ...she rushes out the door

"Abby, tell McGee to get his ass back up here, I need him!"

Back to Tony

Tony is splashed with water, waking him...Tony's left hand is badly hurt from the fall, it seems his thumb and index finger are either broken or dislocated

"Sit him back up."

The leader walks over to Tony...

"Are you going to behave now?"

Tony doesn't answer...

The leader backhands him once again.

"Shakli b'tahat!"

"Aww, you speak Hebrew...you're not as dumb as I thought. You're still not good enough for my Ziva."

Tony is silent..

"So, now you know...but do you want to know why I've kidnapped you?"

Gibbs and Ziva now in the squad room, the kids are still upstairs with Jenny

"This is the address where Tony was meeting his father for lunch." ...she writes it down and hands it to him.

McGee steps off the elevator..."Abby said you wanted me, Boss?"

"Yeah, track DiNozzo's phone, tell me where it was last used."

"What happened to Tony now?"

"He was kidnapped."

"Again? You're joking right?"

"Does it look like I'm joking, McGee?"

"On it, Boss!"

McGee goes to his computer...he types for about 30 seconds..."Ok, I got."

"Good, put it up on the big screen, McGee."

McGee clicks a few keys and it pops up.

"Gibbs, it's exactly the address I gave you."

"Don't worry, Ziva...we'll find him...McGee, did Abby get anything from that bill?"

"Not yet, Boss."

Gibbs, under is breath..."hang in there, Tony."

Back to Tony

Tony still silent

"How does it feel to be lied to for over 2 years?"

Director David paces back and forth in front of Tony

"You've been betrayed."

Tony still silent

"Ziva has been lying to you all since the day you met her."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"She's been spying on you."

"She quit Mossad to join NCIS."

David stops..."Aww, that's where you have it wrong, she's still in Mossad, to this very day."

"Why the hell are you telling me this then?"

"Because she's gone rogue...and she's done this because of you. We haven't gotten a report from her in nearly 10 months...you see, since she got pregnant with your evil spawn, but now...I'm taking her back."

"Why spy on NCIS? Why not the CIA?"

"Because you killed my only son..."

"Hopefully he's still burning in hell."

He punches Tony in the face

"Your son was pathetic...he begged before I shot him..."

He punches Tony again

"He got on his knees and begged...he was a coward...a pathetic excuse for a man...he pissed his own pants..."

David pulls a gun and points it at Tony..."shut your mouth!"...cocking the gun..

Gibbs, Ziva and McGee arrive in the lab..

"What you got Abby? Anything on the bill?"

"Yes, but it's classified, top secret, Gibbs...I can tell you every law enforcement agency wants him, though...CIA, NIS, MI6, interpol..."

"It has to be my father, Gibbs."

"Is he really that hands-on, Ziva?"

"He used to be, but not recently."

"Anything at all, Abs?"

"I got nothing, Gibbs...I'm sorry."

"Ziva, do you know any Mossad safe houses in D.C.?"

"Yes, a couple, but I doubt they would use them, since they know I'd be helping you."

"Give them to me anyway."

Ziva writes down the address..."Can I go with you, Gibbs?"

"Ziva...no, stay here and be with your children...Tony may be dead already, you know that...they can't lose both parents. I'll find him, Ziva. I'll find him."

Ziva backs up and Abby puts her hand on her shoulder...

Gibbs and McGee leave...

Back with Tony

"Come on, shoot...shoot me damn it...he tried to kill your daughter...and you still care about that son of a bitch!?"

"He was my son...my only son..."

"I take it back, you're the pathetic one...no wonder he grew up to such an ass..."

Tony is hit with butt of the gun..."You bastard, you ruined everything...you killed my son, you disgraced and molested my daughter...you've taken everything from me!"

"That's both of them, Boss."

"Damn it, where the hell are you DiNozzo!?"

Gibbs pounds on the steering wheel...

"The aluminum shavings."

"What, Boss?"

"McGee, check for machine shops around the area Tony was last seen and around the Chinese restaurant."

McGee works on his computer...

"I found four, Boss."

"Any abandoned?"

"There's one that was closed in November 2006, it's four blocks from Tony last known location."

"Address?"

"167 S. Garfield."

Gibbs races towards it

"There it is, Boss."

Gibbs pulls in across the street from it..."Get your vest on, McGee"...as Gibbs pushes the button to open the trunk...Gibbs joins him in the back and puts on his bulletproof vest..."Be precise, Tim. Don't hesitate."

Multiple gunshots are heard

"On my six, McGee."

They rush across the street...more gunshots are heard...Gibbs works his way to the front door. He kicks it in, "NCIS!" ...as he moves in with gun raised.

5 minutes earlier...

Tony lifts his head..."Zaide"...

David lowers his gun...

"A request..."

"Mah?"

"Take off the hood, so I may see you."

"Why?"

"I want to look into the eyes of the man who's going to kill me and I want that man to see who he's killing...to see the father of his grandchildren."

David walks over and unties the rope around Tony's neck and takes off the hood...David looks right into the eyes of Tony...his eyes are cold, evil...Tony squeezes his left hand with his right, pushing his thumb further toward his pinky, then pulls his hand out of the handcuff, but keeps his hands there until David turns around.

Just then Tony stands..."Sir!"...David bodyguards yell pointing at Tony rising, Tony picks up the scalpel from the table and throws it at the closest bodyguard, hitting him in the chest. He then grabs David around the neck with his left arm, pulling him tightly into his body and grabs his gun by twisting his hand back, breaking his thumb and wrist, David lets out a scream as Tony fires twice into another bodyguards chest, then shoots him once in the head.

Tony pulls him back, shooting the bodyguard with the scalpel in his chest in the head and moving directly behind David, eliminating any shot.

"Put it down! I'll kill him." ...as Tony holds the gun to David's head, the barrel pressing against his head, scorching his hair and skin. David screams, as the bodyguard maneuvers to get a shot.

Tony aims down and fires a round into David's foot. David screams..

"I said, put your damn gun down. NOW!"

He starts to lower his gun, when David yells at him in Hebrew...Tony pushes David downward and fires twice at the last bodyguard, hitting him the stomach. Tony stomps on David's right hand four times with his foot, smashing his hand, then kicks him in the ribs.

"Don't move!" ...as Tony walks over and fires a shot into the final bodyguard's head.

Tony heads back, pushing David against a worktable..."Get up!"...

"NCIS!" Gibbs rushes in..

"Beg me for your life, David."

"Tony, don't do it."

"He deserves to die." ...wiping away the blood from his mouth...

"You're better than him, DiNozzo. Think of the paperwork."

Tony laughs...

A gunshot goes off and David's face is covered in blood. Tony looks back at Gibbs, who looks back to see Ziva with a gun, smoke seeps from the barrel.

Tony is shocked, then quickly moves back to her, grabbing the gun...he fires twice more into David's chest.

"You weren't here, Ziva...McGee, take her back to NCIS."

"Tony..."

"Go, Ziva." He kisses her as McGee pulls her out the door

Tony sighs..."I hate paperwork, Boss."

Ziva and McGee in the car driving back to NCIS

Ziva has her face in her hands crying..

McGee's cell rings...

"Ziva...it's Tony for you."

"Tony.."

"Are you ok, Ziva?"

She wipes tears from her eyes..."No...and I have to tell you something."

"Ziva, I know and it doesn't matter."

"But.."

"No buts, no ifs...it's just over...things happen for a reason. We...us happened and it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't done what you did."

"...and Gibbs?"

"I'll tell him. I'll work it out."

Ziva is silent..

"Ziva, are we still getting married?"

Ziva laughs..."You bet your ass on it."

"Honey, would it be a bad time to tell you I haven't gotten by tux yet?"

"What!?"

"Uhh, gotta go!" ...Tony hangs up..

"I'm gonna kill 'em."

"Ziva?"

"Do you at least have your tux?"

"Yep, Ducky and I went last week...Tony told you he and Gibbs didn't get their tux's yet?"

"Gibbs, too? Harah!"

"Do you have your dress?"

"Ummm, maybe...are you still falling asleep on Ruby?"

"My life sucks..."

Two days later, Friday, the day before the wedding...8:15a.m.

"Special Agent DiNozzo, I see that you're back again."

"Yeah, I knew how much you missed me, Dr. Gillian."

"What do you want to talk about first?"

"You're the head doctor."

"Fine, how's your hand?"

"It's fine, just a couple broken bones."

"You're back on desk duty again until it heals?"

"Unfortunately."

"Angry about it?"

"Not as much as Ziva."

"Why?"

"She fears I won't be able to do some things on our honeymoon."

"Like what?"

"Heh...well..."

Dr. Gillian interrupts him..."Nevermind."

She looks through her report, "I see the Director pushed your shooting through quickly and declared it a good shooting. Special Agent Gibbs wrote off on it, as well."

Tony nods...

"How are you not traumatized by all this, Mr. DiNozzo?"

"Can't you call me Tony?"

"I'd rather not...lets keep this professional."

Tony shrugs..."Traumatized? I am...I can't get the image of Megan dying out of my head."

"I meant all the people you killed."

"No, not at all. If that bothered me, I couldn't do my job."

"So, killing doesn't bother you?"

"Absolutely not, it's not like I'm killing people just to kill them."

"You shot your soon to be wife's father...how did make you feel?"

"He was going to kill me, I don't feel anything except relieved that he's dead and I'm not."

"...and Ziva?"

"She's coping."

"How?"

"I'm helping...everyone on the team is helping...like the saying goes, time heals all wounds."

"It must not be that bad if you two are still getting married tomorrow..."

"We didn't want to give that bastard the satisfaction of ruined our big day."

"You still sound upset over him."

"He beat me, he was going to kill me...what do want from me? Want me to do some cartwheels and yell yippee!?"

"Mr. DiNozzo..."

"Look, I'm glad the bastard is dead...and if I had to do it all over again, I would."

"Ok..." ...she pats him on the knee..."We'll talk again when you get back from your honeymoon."

Tony rises...

"Take care of yourself, Tony."

Tony now at his desk, his head resting on his arms.

"Tony...I've been thinking."...a long pause...

"What, Probie?" ...his head still down

"How about I throw you a bachelor party?"

"What?"

"Come on, it'll be fun."

"Have you ever thrown a bachelor party, McGee"

"No...but all you need are strippers and alcohol, right?"

"In a matter of words, yes..."

"So, is that a yes?"

"Where would we do it, at your house? I don't feel like shooting your neighbor because he keeps complaining about the noise."

"I know...the paperwork."

"That, too."

"Maybe Gibbs will let us do it in his basement."

"HAH...and chance someone throwing up on his boat? ...and yes, I mean you, McQueezy."

"It was just an idea, Tony."

"I appreciate it, Tim."

Gibbs walks in...

"No, Tim."

"I didn't even ask yet, Boss."

"No."

McGee sighs..."Could we do it here? Maybe in the morgue?"

"That's sick, McGee."

"Really?"

"Naw, but we could all get fired for it...what do you think, Boss?"

"No."

Abby walks in..."Hey, Tony...how are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Abbycakes." ..she rubs the top of his head..

"Why don't you ask her, too, Tim."

"Ask me what, Timmy?"

"I've trying to find a place for Tony's bachelor party."

"...and you wanted to ask if you can have it at my place? Sure."

"Really?"

"Sure, the female body is a beautiful, beautiful thing, McGee."

"Too much information, Abby."

"Sorry, Gibbs..."

"Are you really sure, Abby?"

"Absolutely, I haven't throw a party in ages."

McGee gets up and walks off with Abby..."Tim, do you know where to get strippers?"...McGee nods no..."Don't worry, McGee...I got you covered."

"Ziva...come, I have surprise for you."

Ziva walks into the living room to find her mother holding up a wedding dress.

"This was my wedding dress...hopefully, you will be happier than I was on my wedding day."

"It's absolutely beautiful."...Ziva takes it from her mother and holds it up against her body.

"It may be a little tight on top, though."

"Yeah, I know, they're huge now!"

"That's what you get for having babies...especially twins."

"Tony loves them."

"Of course, he does...he's a man."

She moves over to Ziva, "He's a good man, Ziva."

"Wow, that's the first nice thing you've ever said about him."

"Not true."

"Mentioning about the size of his penis isn't exactly being nice, mother."

"I think he took it has compliment."

"That sounds like Tony."

"Your father hated him."

"I know, but he's gone now...and I am sorry, mother."

"For what? He was a horse's ass."

"What?"

"Yes, he was a mean old man."

"I never knew you thought like that."

"Why would you? It's none of your business."

"I know, but still...I want to know if my mother is happy or not."

"It's not about being happy, Ziva...it's about surviving."

"I can't live like that, mother...that's no way to live."

"I'm glad you have the choice."

Ziva hugs her...

"Ahavah olam..."…together

At Abby's...loud instrumental music is playing

"Abby, where's Tony!?"

"Last time I saw him he was in the kitchen!"

McGee walks into the kitchen, Tony is sitting at the table drinking a Mt. Dew.

"Why aren't you drinking, Tony!?"

"Not feeling it, Probie."

"Come on, I'm already on my"...McGee holds up one, then three, then five, then two fingers... "...beer."

"I hope Ruby isn't here."

"HAHA, very funny...why, have you heard something?"

"Damn, Probie...you're plastered already and it just started 10 minutes ago."

"I know, isn't it great?"

McGee runs off

"DiNozzo..."

"Wow, you came Gibbs?"

Gibbs sits next to Tony

"It's not everyday my senior field agent has a bachelor party."

"You came for the free Jack didn't ya?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

A naked McGee runs by...

"How many beers has he had DiNozzo?"

Tony shrugs and then sees Abby raise 2 fingers.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure he gets home, Boss."

McGee again runs by, now carrying a lid of a coffin...and Abby is chasing after him with a skull...

"You don't see that everyday."

Two women come in dressed as police officers..."ok, who's getting married tomorrow!?"

Tony points to Gibbs..."Here he is, ladies!"

They grab him by the arms and haul him off to the living room

"Damn you, DiNozzo!"

"Have fun, Boss!

Tony still sits at the table

"Tony...not having a good time?"

"Hey, Abby...naw, that's not it, it's just that...I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm a one woman guy now."

"I have to tell ya...that does sound weird coming from you."

"Yeah, I know."

"There's nothing wrong with getting a lapdance, though...I get them all the time."

"I didn't know guys gave lapdances."

"Oh, they do, but I was talking about women."

"Ok, that's a little hot, Abs...no, wait...that's way hot."

Abby straddles Tony, with her back to him and she starts bouncing up and down on his lap.

Tony looks to his left, as Abby's head lays on his left shoulder..."May I help you?"

"Shut up, if you won't let them give you a lapdance, let me give you one."

Tony chuckles..."I really do love you, Abby, but come on..."..he eases her off him

"You're a stinker, Tony."

"I'm sorry." ...he holds out his arm and she jumps on his lap and they hug..."You're the best Abby."

Tony cradles her face in his hands and kisses her on the forehead, but Abby quickly moves her face and she kisses Tony on the lips.

"Whoa, did you just slip me some tongue, Abby?"

"Heh...now look who's sorry."

Tony sits there a little shocked at the fact Abby just French kissed him...

"What in hell just happened?"

Tony rises and walks into the living room..."Hey, Boss...having fun?"

Gibbs gives Tony an evil look...

"Ok, that's enough ladies...I'm the bachelor, not him."

"Awww, we were just started to have fun."

They untie Gibbs and start to move toward Tony..

"Sorry, ladies...lapdances are against my religion."

"The hell they are!" ...as Gibbs grabs Tony and places him in the chair..."See how you like it."

The camera pans back..."Watch those things ladies...you'll poke an eye out with one of those things."

The camera is now on Abby, tears fall down her face, her makeup starts to run...

Gibbs walks back, grabbing his glass of Jack.

Abby sits at the table, looking towards the back of the house.

"Hey, Abby."

"Hey." ...she sniffles..

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, Abby, talk to me."

She turns around...

"Why are you crying, Abs? Who hurt you? Just point him out."

"No one hurt me, Gibbs...I'm just sad."

"Oh...why?"

"It's complicated."

"What is it, Abs?" ...he puts his hand on her shoulder

"Why didn't Tony ever ask me out?"

"What?"

"Why am I the only girl at NCIS that Tony never asked out?"

"Awww, Abby...he sees you as more of a sister."

"I hate being the sister! The daughter, too."

"Was that aimed at me? I'm too old for you, Abby..."

"How do you know until you try?"

"I know, Abby...believe me...please don't cry."

She wipes her tears away...

"I don't get it, what is it about DiNozzo that every woman likes?"

"Do you want me to tell you, Gibbs?"

"No."

"He has..."

"Not a word Abby."

"Come on, you want to know..."

"No, I don't..."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't."

"It's huge!"

"Abby!"

"Heh.."

Gibbs shakes his head..."Just know this...Tony and I would die for you, that's how much you mean to us."

She smiles..."I know."

"BBBBOSSSSS!" ...as other people start screaming...

Gibbs gets up and runs into the living as sees a woman with a knife, knees Tony in the stomach, then trying to stab him.

"Someone shoot this bitch!"

"Die, dog!"

Gibbs punches her in the face and she falls backwards

Abby jumps on top of her and starts smacking her face

"Abby!"

Gibbs grabs her and pulls her off.

"Damn DiNozzo, how many damn women want to kill you."

"I dunno who the hell that is Gibbs!"

"You killed my team." ...as she regains the knife from the floor and attempts to stab Tony again.

Gibbs punches her in the face once again..

"For the love of God, someone untie me!"

Gibbs unties him as the woman starts to get up again.

"Imekha zona!" ...as she goes for Tony again

"My mother is dead, bitch!" ...as Tony shoves his knife under her chin.

Tony stands..."I'm getting tired of this crap, Boss."

"Good thing you remember your knife, DiNozzo."

"Rule number nine, Gibbs. Rule number nine."

"Cool! Someone died in my house."

Tony and Gibbs both look at Abby

"What?" Abby shrugs..

Tony sighs..."I really, really, really hate paperwork."

"Check her pockets, DiNozzo."

"Where, Boss? She's wearing a bikini."

"Anyone know this woman?"

"No" ...from a lot of people

"I think she had a bag, though."

Tony walks toward the stripper, "what color was it?"

"Brown." ...there it is, pointing to it

Tony goes over and picks it up and looks inside. "No ID, Boss."

"Anything?"

"Just some clothes...wait, some car keys."

"DiNozzo, go outside and see if its out there."

Tony exits...clicking the unlock button as he walks down the street...the sound of unlocking is heard...Tony pats his pockets, "Damn, no gloves."...he locks it and goes back inside.

Tony walks back inside. "Got any gloves, Boss?"

"Abby?"

"Yeah, I have some, I'll get them." ...she walks past a still naked McGee, he's pasted out on the floor, a pizza box covering his privates.

"McGee!" Gibbs yells

"That Ruby is one lucky lady."

Gibbs walks over to the sink and fills a glass with water, then walks back and pours it on McGee's face. "Get up, McGee."

McGee struggles to get up, then realizes he's naked..."what...where are my clothes?" ...as he picks up the pizza box, covering himself

"Wow, I didn't think it was possible, but I think is ass is whiter than his teeth...you need to tan your ass, Probie."

"...and you need to stop killing people, Tony."

"Tony killed someone else?"

Tony sighs..

Abby returns and hands gloves to Tony..."Thanks, Abby...come on, Tim...lets find your clothes."

"You really tan your ass, Tony?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

Tony smacks McGee in the back of the head...

A now clothed McGee and Tony are outside...Tony unlocks the car and opens the driver side door.

"Check the backseat, McGee."

Tony turns on the overhead light..."it was just vacuumed, I doubt we'll find anything."

"I found something, Tony." McGee grabs a case from under the passenger seat..."I think it's a gun case."

"I'll be damned... spoke too soon."

McGee looks inside..."Nope, it's a needle."

"Looks like a interrogation/torture kit, Probie." ...as Tony clicks the trunk button

"You think she was Mossad?"

"Yeah, she said I killed her team."

"You really know how to piss people off, Tony."

"Don't remind me." ...as Tony moves back to the trunk.

"Nothing else, Tony."

Tony lifts the trunk and looks inside, there's a bag...he opens the bag and finds a camera and a big yellow envelope.

"I found something, McGee."

McGee joins him by the trunk...as Tony opens the envelope.

"Hey, that's you and Jeanne."

"Yeah, looks like we found their recon member."

"So, they knew Ari was still alive?"

"I'd say so."

"Wow, they spent close to two years trying to get inside NCIS, huh?"

"More than you know, McGee."

"What?"

"Nothing...get this car towed."

"Yeah..." ...as McGee leaves...

"Ziva..." sighs...

Tony sits at is desk, just finishing up with the paperwork from his latest killing.

He lowers his head

"Tony..."

Tony lifts his head..."hey, I remember you...Cindy, right?"

"Yes, I used to work down in accounting until I transferred away from NCIS."

"Oh, what are you doing here?"

"I dunno, this is your dream."

"Dream?"

"Yes, why else would I be dressed in a nurse's outfit?"

"Heh...good point."

"What about me, Tony?"

"Paula? Paula Cassidy?"

"You're a pig, Tony."

"You haven't changed."

"Neither have you."

"But I have."

"Doesn't look like it to me."

"What do you know, you're just a dream."

"Yeah, your dream...it's your doubts..."

"What..."...Ziva appears and starts walking away from Tony.

"Ziva! Stop!" ...she doesn't, she continues walking...Tony starts to run after her, but the faster he runs, the faster she runs.

"Stop, Ziva!" ...she continues running, as Tony chases her.

"I know what I want…I want you and only you!" ...Tony starts to catch up to her and just when he's about to catch her, he wakes up.

Tony raises his head...and then covers his eyes from the sunlight.

"Damn, what time is it?"

Tony struggles to focus on his watch, 10:17a.m finally comes into focus.

"Holy crap, I'm getting married in an hour and 43 minutes and I don't have my tux yet!"

Tony gulps..."Ziva is gonna kill my ass."

Tony unlocks his desk and takes out a box with a bow on it, then re-locks it, he grabs his bag, putting the box inside, then his jacket...he moves quickly to the elevator and pushes the button.

"Come on, come on...screw it." ...and Tony races down the stairs.

He runs into the parking lot and jumps into his car.

He opens up his phone..

"Boss, you know where to get a tux in less than an hour?"

laughter is heard over the phone

"Nevermind" ...as Tony hangs up

Tony is driving down the road..."what in the hell am I gonna do? She's gonna kill me."

Tony pulls into a gas station and goes inside..."Do you have some yellow pages?"

"Yeah." ...as the cashier hands him it

Tony quickly looks through it for tux rentals and finds one that's 10 blocks from where he is..."Thanks" ...as he hands him back the yellow pages

Tony jumps back in convertible and speeds off...he arrives at the tux place to find it closed for renovation..."Oh great, just my freakin' luck"

Tony again calls..

"Hey, Boss..."

"What?"

"Oh sorry, dad...I must've hit the wrong number."

"You sound upset, my boy."

"I'm about to die a horrible death...I don't have a tux yet."

"Aww, don't worry, I know a guy. Go to Hector's on 3rd and Main, tell them Mr. DiNozzo sent you and you need a emergency fitting."

"For real?"

"Yes, but watch Hector...he can be a bit handsy."

"Handsy?"

"You'll see."

"Thanks, dad."

Tony looks at his watch..."only 80 minutes to go...I am SOOOO dead"

10 minutes later

Tony walks into Hector's, a older man and a younger woman stand in the middle of the store

"I've been sent by Mr. DiNozzo for a emergency fitting."

"Aww, yes, we've been expecting you...what color? what color is her dress?"

"Black...white and off white."

"What shoes will you be wearing?"

"Damn it, I knew I forgot something."

"...and you really wanted to get married?"

"I suck all right."

"At least you admit it...anyway, I'll take care of you. How much time do I have?"

Tony looks at his watch..."68 minutes."

"Merda!" ...as he grabs his measuring cloth and starts measuring Tony

"So, are you Hector?"

"Yes, now be quiet, I'm working...someone bring him a cappuccino and a canole."

"Heh...it's like I'm at a mafia tailor..."

Hector gives him a look.

"Holy crap, I'm at a mafia tailor aren't I?"

"Don't move!" ..as Hector grabs his crotch

"Off the package, man!"

"Like it tight in the butt?"

"Hell no."

"I mean your pants."

"Oh..."

"It has to be snug...Luca, take these measurements."…Luca takes the measurements and heads in the back.

"Put your arms out to the side."

Tony does as Hector measures.

"You like your arms past the wrist?"

"Usually."

Hector now measures is neck...

"Definitely not tight around the neck, Hector."

Hector takes the rest of the measurements into the back

Ziva stand in her wedding dress, in front of a mirror

"You look amazing, Ziva...simply amazing."

"You really think so, Abby?"

"Yeah, for it being white and all...speaking of which, you're not a virgin, are ya?"

Ziva turns around...and Abby grins..."Wow, Abby, you're wearing heels."

"Yes, I know and I'm hating every second of it."

"Well, take them off." ...Ziva kicks her heels off to the side..."no one wears heels, it's a day to be comfortable."

Abby follows..."but what about the dress? It's very uncomfortable to me, too."

"Abby, it doesn't matter what you wear, it's just as long as you're here."

"Even for you or Tony?"

"I'll kill him if he comes in jeans and t-shirt...with my bare hands..."

"Ok, you answered that question."

Abby grabs her bag and goes into the bathroom...a few minutes later, she come out in a black and red skirt with a white blouse and a red tie and her hair up in pigtails..."that's better."

Jenny walks in, "only 20 minutes until you're Mrs. DiNozzo."

"Ziva DiNozzo...?" Ziva questioned

"I like it, it sounds exotic."

"I think it sounds sexy."

"I think it sounds like I'm married."

Luca comes out from the back

"Please take off your clothes."

Tony just stands there.

"Well?"

"I...I can't."

"Why?"

"I'm not wearing any underwear."

"I didn't mean out in the open, you dingbat!"

"Oh..." ..Luca points to a dressing area and hands him the suit and a pair of boxers

Tony puts them on and then comes out

"Stand on the platform...Hector will be right with you."

Tony stands on the platform, as Hector comes out...

"How does it feel?"

"Good, I guess."

"Can you bend over?"

"Why?"

"To make sure they don't bust.."

"Oh..." Tony bends over..."Nope, they're good."

"Aww, I need to hem the bottoms, it'll take me 5 minutes...is everything else ok? The jacket?"

Tony puts on the jacket..."wow, it feels great!" ...as he starts moving his arms around a lot, stretching and so forth

Hector grabs his crotch once again..."good, no space...I hate space in the crotch. Give me the pants, please." ...and he leaves..

Tony stands there shocked..."Don't worry, he does that to everyone." Luca explained

Tony slowly moved his hands over his crotch, covering them from future attacks.

"Here, put this shirt on...and I picked some socks and shoes out for you, as well. I put them on the couch over there." ...she points to it.

Tony walks over, still protecting his privates and sits down...Luca looks at him and shakes her head the whole time

Tony puts on his socks and the shirt...as Luca brings him his tux tie…"Do you know how to tie one of these?"

"I used, too."

Tony stands as Luca buttons the top button on his shirt and places the tie around his neck and then starts tying it.

She finishes and steps back..."it looks good"...she then hands him a vest, "this will keep your stomach in."

"I'm not fat...ok, maybe a little, but Ziva likes my love handles."

"More like love baggage."

"...and where are the customer satisfaction cards? I need to fill one out."

"Fine, love handles."

"Thank you."

Hector comes out with his pants. "Here, you go."

Tony puts on the pants..."wow, perfect length."

"...and the crotch?"

"Still fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Fine, go ahead, touch my crotch again..."

"No, who do you think I am?"

"Ok...well..." Tony starts to turns when Hector touches Tony's crotch again..

"No space...damn, I'm good, even looks great from the side."

Tony quickly gets down from the platform and puts on his shoes and takes his old clothes and rolls them up into a ball

"How much do I owe, Hector?"

"Usually, it's 9,000."

"9,000!?"

"...but since you are the son of the Mr. DiNozzo, it's free."

"Wow, it's like my dad's the godfather"...Tony pauses for about 10 seconds..."No, he can't be...is he?"

"You don't have time, Mr. DiNozzo. It's 11:48a.m."

"Oh crap" ...as Tony runs out..

Gibbs, McGee and Ducky stand next to the altar, which is outside...there are about 100 guests, most of them are on Ziva's side...the wedding is taking place at a country club, it is a beautiful sunny day.

"Have you heard from Tony, Jethro?"

"Yeah, about an hour ago, Ducky...he wanted to know where to get a tux."

"Oh lord, he still doesn't have a tuxedo?"

"Ziva is gonna kill him, Boss."

"No she won't, Timothy."

Gibbs calls Tony

"Where are you, DiNozzo?"

Tony in his car, speeding his way to the country club..."I'm almost there, Boss."

Tony honks his horn and yells "MOVE!"

"What the hell are you doing, Tony?"

"About 85 in a 30, Boss."

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long until you're here?"

"5 minutes, Boss."

"You got 3...go faster,"

"Got it, Boss."

click

"He's screwed."

Tony accelerates...

"Is Tony here yet?"

"Not yet."

"Hamor!"

"Don't worry, he's coming..."

"He better, I'm beyond horny."

"Oooh, ok." Abby slowly backs up, leaving the room and then walks up the aisle to Gibbs

"Where in the hell is Tony? Ziva is going to snap"

Gibbs shrugs...

Abby hurries back

"Well? Ziva asked

"He's...ummm, near?"

Tony drives to the intersection that goes around the golf course, there are 6 cars in line most of them wanting to turn left.

"Screw it!"...Tony turns right onto the golf course, driving down the fairway on the 7th hole.

Tony honks as he passes a golf cart

"Wow, his golf cart is sweet."

"I don't think that's a golf cart, Bob."

Tony zooms by...

Tony speeds up, hitting a bump and his car pops slightly up into the air.

"Heh...that was awesome."

Tony hits the breaks and comes to a stop right behind the gazebo the altar is on...Tony jumps out of his car, grabs his bag and walks to the altar.

"Did I make it?"

They all look back at the golf course and the tire marks Tony made...

"What?

Gibbs smacks Tony in the back of the head

"Hey, what was that for?"

"Right on time, DiNozzo."

"Huh?"

"The smack is for the bet I lost with Ducky."

Ducky shakes Tony's hand..."good show, lad."

"What was the bet?"

"A buck."

"You hit me for a buck, Boss?"

"Yeah, I would've shot you if it was more...want me to reconsider?"

"That's ok, Boss."

Tony, Gibbs, Ducky and McGee stand waiting...and the music starts...

Sienna starts to walk down the aisle...dropping red and black rose petals...

Tony goes to her, dropping to one knee and hugs her and she sits in the front row...then comes Ruby, she walks down the aisle and McGee meets her, they walk the rest of the way and they split off again...then Jenny and Ducky...and finally Gibbs and Abby...

3 brides maids and 3 groomsmen...Then Ziva appears with her mother, Ziva sees Tony and her face lights up. Tony extends his hands..."Come to me, baby."

Ziva's mother brings her down the aisle, but stops right before getting to Tony..

"Anthony, I know I've been hard on you, but you're a good man and I wish you all the best...you will need it."

"Was that a joke?" He chuckled

"No, Israeli women are tough, your life will never be the same again."

"Yes, I know...it can only get better."

She kisses Tony on the cheek..."You may now have my Bat, my Ben...mazel ubracha!"

She lifts Ziva vail and kisses her, then she hands Ziva over to Tony.

"Hi, baby."

"You weren't late."

Tony points to his car

She laughs, "Anything not to be late, huh?"

"Anything to be here with you."

The priest coughs..

"Oh, sorry, I got lost in her eyes."

"Wow, he's whipped"

Laughter from everyone

Ziva turns...and everyone goes silent

The priests goes on with the ceremony..."If there be anyone present that may present just and lawful cause why these two individuals may not be lawfully wed, let him speak now or forever hold their peace..."

Silence...

"You've both written your own vows?"

Ziva nods...Tony does not...

"Tony, you may go first..."

"Ummm..."

The priest trying to help Tony... "I..."

"I?"

"I...state your name.."

"I state your name? Oh...ok. Gotcha, father!

Tony clears his throat…

"I, Anthony, take Ziva to be my wedded wife."...He clears his throat again..."To have and to hold or to caress or even cuddle, from today, tomorrow and beyond, to never lie to you, never harm you, in any way. To make you so damn happy that all your girlfriends want to do me, but they can't, because I'm your man and you can rub it in their face. I promise to rub your feet, when your feet hurt, to rub your back, when your back hurts, to rub your butt, no matter what...to buy your feminine hygiene products and be proud of it, to put my clothes in the hamper, to put the cap back on the toothpaste, to mow the grass, to take out the trash, to put my dirty dishes in the sink, to put the toilet seat down, to get items off the top shelf, to open bottles and jars for you, to wash your hair and dry and bath you and spoil you rotten, to take care of you when your sick, to lose myself in your eyes, to pick up the kids after work, so you can relax with a bath, to doing the paperwork at work, so you don't have to, to kiss you for hours and hours, to apologize to you immediately when I upset you, to bring you flowers even when you're not mad at me. Damn it woman, to love you, forever and ever, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer...and once again love you so damn hard that I cherish it until the day that I die, because that is the day I stop loving you...and oh yeah, to make sweet, passionate love to you that lasts for hours, days or even a long weekend making your girlfriends even more jealous. I pledge my life and love to you...I would die for you...I would kill you...I live for you. Ani ohevet otcha! …and oh…" Ziva stops him.

"I get it, Tony...you love me."

"...and you Ziva?"

"Ditto."

"Heh..."

"Do you have the rings?"

Gibbs hands the rings to the father

"Anthony, if you would."

Tony takes the ring...

"Repeat after me...with this ring...I be wed..."

"With this ring, I be wed..." He slides the ring on Ziva's finger...

Ziva takes the ring from the father..

"Ziva, repeat me after me...with this ring...I be wed..."

"With this ring, I be wed.." She slides it on Tony's finger...

"Anthony and Ziva have consented their love for one another in holy wedlock and have been witness before god and these witnesses and each other. By the power given to my by god and church, I pronounce that they are husband and wife. Anthony, you may kiss the bride."

Tony kisses Ziva

"For the first time, allow me to introduce...Mr. and Mrs. Anthony DiNozzo!"

Tony and Ziva walk down the aisle as people throw rice on them

Tony stops, "Probie, get my car." Tossing him the keys

Tony and Ziva get into a limo

"Do we really have to go to this reception, Tony?"

"Yeah, we do...it's where our friends will be...you can wait another hour...unless..."

"Unless what?"

"We could do it in here, on the way over there."

She laughs evilly

"But you can't mess up by tux, it cost 9,000 bucks."

"WHAT!?"

"Don't worry, my dad's in the mafia."

"Oh...ok...WHAT!?"

"Yep, that's how I reacted."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just learned it today and it exactly wasn't the first thing on my mind today."

He kisses her...her expression goes from mad to happy.

"Ok, take it off...all of it." she grins...as she rolls up the middle divider

"How is your team gonna get along without DiNozzo and Ziva for 2 weeks, Jethro?"

"A lot less deaths, I would think, Jen."

"I love weddings." Jen continues crying

"I usually hate them, but they're usually mine."

The limo starts to rock back and forth...

"That's our Tony." Gibbs and Jenny together

Now at the wedding reception...

"Have Tony and Ziva arrived yet?"

"I have yet to see them, Abigail."

"Man, I'm starving...I need to eat something, I think I've had too many red bulls."

"I'll find them, Abs."

"Their limo has arrive, Jethro."

"Where at, Jen?" ...Gibbs walks to her

"Side entrance."

Gibbs walks to the side entrance and goes to the car, it's still rocking..."Come on you, guys...hurry up, Abby's hungry."

"Hey, Boss..."

Gibbs turns around and sees Tony and Ziva walking towards them..."if you're there...who's in there?"

The window rolls down and McGee's face appears out the window.

"McGee!?...who's in there with you?"

"It's me."

"Oh...Ruby."

"Carry on."

"Probie, gettin' it done."

"DiNozzo!"

"Yeah, Boss?"

"You're a bad influence on him."

"I know...isn't it great?"

Gibbs walks over and smacks him, then Ziva on the back of head

"Heh...you smacked her, too, Boss."

"I had, too...she's a DiNozzo now."

Tony and Ziva now inside at the reception, Tony's dad walks up to them

"Thanks for everything, dad."

"That tux looks good on you, kid."

"You were right about Hector."

He laughs..."He's a good boy, though."

"You can see the boys, dad."

"Thank you, Anthony."...he turns to Ziva…"May I say, you are one stunning bride."...he kisses her on the cheek.

"He doesn't look like a godfather, Tony." she whispers.

Tony's dad laughs...and then pats Tony on his face a few times

Gibbs grabs a glass and hits it with a fork..."Attention...attention...attention!"

Gibbs clears his throat...

"Tony, you've been a good friend, a good teammate, a good leader while I was gone...you've kept sane with your constant humor and easy going lifestyle, but you've also made my life hard, but that's a good thing...life isn't easy, sometimes you have to work through bad things...it's called living. But now, you two are starting a new life together and I know you two will make yourself extremely happy. Much love to both you and Ziva. The two biggest sex crazed people in the world are now together...it's a match made in heaven...or hell, whichever comes first. May you have many more children, for which I will teach to build boats in my basement." ...he pauses.."...and oh yeah, if I ever catch you two having sex at work, I'm kickin' both your asses, you got it?"

"Got it, Boss!"

"Cheers!"

They all drink champagne

The waiters bring around the food.

Tony stands up..."One last thing." ...as he grabs his bag and pulls out the box with the bow on it.

"This is for you, Ziva."

Ziva takes it from Tony and opens it...inside is a black book.

"This is my little black book, every woman I've ever dated is in this book...but as of today, I no longer need it. Ziva, do with it, as you will."

Ziva stands..."I need a lighter, please."

She is handed a lighter and she lights the bottom of it and holds it in the air, then lays it on a metal champagne tray as DiNozzo pretends to blow on it.

Laughter fills the room, then applause.

"I'm yours and only yours, Ziva." He kisses her and she kisses him back

They roll the cake in.

Tony and Ziva walk over and cut the cake...Ziva takes a piece and puts it in Tony's mouth, he then licks the frosting off her fingers.

"Delicious...and the cake isn't bad either."

"Kiss me, you fool."

"Can't, eating cake."

She grabs and kissing him, taking the cake from his mouth into hers.

"Mmmmmm, it is good cake."

"You cake thief! Give that back." He kisses her.

"Haha, no cake left!"

Tony frowns..."There's something I want more than cake."

"Oh yeah?"

Tony picks her up..."Yeah, you..."

Tony leaves with her...Tony stops and turns around.

"Thanks for coming everyone." Ziva says with cake still on her face...

"SHALOM!!" Tony and Ziva together


	6. UnderCovers: Part Deux

Tony and Ziva lie asleep spooning, Tony's body draping over her...the clock on Tony's nightstand reads: 4:19 a.m.

Tony's cell phone rings...and again...Tony finally awakens and rolls over and grabs his phone...he answers it...

"Yeah?"

"Tony...it's Jenny."

"What time is it?"

"Just after 4a.m."

Tony swings his legs over the edge of the bed, putting his feet on the floor..."Yeah, what's up?"

"I need your help."

"With what? We're heading on our honeymoon in about 5 hours." Tony rubbing his eyes

"Yes, I know...something has come up...can you and Ziva meet me at NCIS in 30 minutes?"

Tony runs his fingers through his hair..."...better make it an hour."

"Ok, I'll be waiting."

"What, you're there now?"

"Yeah, it's really important...please hurry."

"Ok, Jenny." ...Tony hangs up

Tony lies back, his head lies on Ziva's stomach..."Baby, wake up."

Ziva turns over, dropping Tony head to the bed.

Tony sits up and slides to the end of the bed, where he stands and moves to the bottom, right below Ziva...he grabs her ankles and pulls her to the end of the bed...Ziva sits up...and looks into Tony's eyes..."Good morning, Mrs. DiNozzo."

She wraps her legs around his neck and squeezes..."I...I...can't breathe.."

She loosens up and pulls him onto of her. "You were saying?"

Tony moves his neck around popping it..."Good morning, dear."

She kisses him..."What time is it?" Tony looks to his right..

"4:25a.m...Jenny wants to see us in about an hour."

"She does know we're going on our honeymoon today, right?"

"Yes, dear."

"...and she knows no one messes with my vacation time."

"Yes, dear."

"...especially when it involves a lot of sex."

"Yes, dear."

"Then what does she want?"

"I have no idea, dear."

"If you say dear one more time, I'm gonna bite your tongue off."

"You're quite hostile in the morning, Mrs. DiNozzo."

She stands, grabbing his hand..."come with me"...she guides him to the shower...

An hour later, at NCIS

Tony and Ziva arrive and step off the elevator and walk up to Jenny's office

"You've finally made it."

"What was so important that it couldn't wait, Jenny?"

"La Grenouille."

"What about him, Jenny?"

"I just received reliable intel that La Grenouille will be in Hawaii on Tuesday, meeting with a Korean scientist, Hideo Nobo, selling a highly classified weapon, we're not exactly sure what kind of weapon it is, but this is where you come in." ...Jenny shows a picture of Hideo Nobo on her plasma.

"This is our honeymoon, director."

"I know it is, Ziva...but I want this man badly. I can not let him escape again."

"What did he do to you, Jenny?"

"Nothing, Tony."

"Jenny..."

"I can't, Tony...I just can't..."

Tony sits down...Ziva moves closer to Jenny.

"What would we have to do, Director."

"Please, Ziva...call me Jen."

"Fine, Jen...what would you have us do."

"Just be on your honeymoon."

"That's it?"

"Well, plant a trojan horse in the Korean scientist computer, so we can track and analyze the weapon he is trying to sell."

"...and?"

"Eliminate La Grenouille, if possible."

"Is Gibbs on board?"

"Absolutely not."

"I won't do it."

"Tony..."

"I will not lie to Gibbs again. No."

"Fine, I'll bring him in when the time is right."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"When does the Korean arrive in Hawaii?"

"On Monday night...you'll arrive before him and I've set everything up, you'll be next door in room 4, he'll be in room 5 at the Hawaii Eclipse Resort."

"Christ, that place is 2,500 a night."

"NCIS is picking up everything...you'll also fly on a charter jet I've set up for you, ASAP. You can take your fire-arms and whatever other equipment you need...I'll contact you at exactly at 12:15 a.m. everyday with further instructions."

"Recon needed for today?"

"None, unless you feel it's wise to check out his hotel room beforehand."

"Probably not a bad idea."

"But don't feel like you need, too...it is your vacation after all, so enjoy yourself. I don't want you doing anything until I've given the word."

"I only have one other problem."

"Yes, Tony?"

"You were suppose to watch our children, remember?"

"I still will be, with the help of Abby, I've worked it out with her."

"Ok...still Tango 8?"

"That is correct."

"Anything else?"

"Good luck..."

"Is this ok with you, Ziva?"

"It's fine...we'll make love, we'll plant a bug, we'll make more love, then we'll kill Frenchy and then make more love..."

"Sounds simple enough."

"Yeah...too simple."

They leave...

The plane in safely in the air, Tony rises and walks over to the kitchen.

"Wow, Ziva, this plane has an oven."

"I don't care, Tony."

"NCIS went all out, there's champagne and chocolates in the mini-fridge."

"Tony..."

Tony pops the top on the champagne and eats a piece of chocolate and he starts to search through other things...he grabs a couple champagne glasses and bring the chocolate and comes and sits back down.

"Here." ...handing Ziva a glass of champagne...

"Toda." ...as she takes it

"Want some chocolate?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I want something else." She drops to her knees in front of Tony and leans in and kisses him, amongst other things...

"Let me guess, flying making you horny?"

"How'd you guess?"

"Oh, I dunno...your hand is on my crotch and you just bit off one of my shirt buttons with your teeth."

"Don't worry, I have a sewing kit in my luggage."

Tony downs the rest of his champagne. "The things I'll do for my country." ...as he grabs Ziva, lifting her on his lap, then turning her over so she's sitting in the chair, the camera pans back and disappears through a wall.

The pilot and co-pilot are seen

"Honeymooners, huh?"

light moaning is heard through the door

"Seems to be."

The moaning gets louder and louder...

"Whatever they are, they seem to be enjoying it."

Ziva wakes with a blanket covering her

"Tony?"

Tony walks into view from the kitchen area.

"Get some clothes on, Tony."

"I do have clothes on."

"Wearing only an apron isn't exactly what I call wearing clothes."...Tony turns around to go back, showing his bare butt.

"Tony!"

"Yeah, sweet cheeks?"

She's shocked, but she's not..."Where did you find an apron?"

"In the kitchen, honey muffins."

"What are you doing?"

"Baking."

"Baking? What?"

Tony brings her a cupcake

"Ooh, I like cake."

"I know."

"What no frosting?"

"I'm not Julia Child, sugar lips."

Ziva eats her cupcake

"Get dressed, Ziva...we're about to land in about 20 minutes."

She nods..."Oh Tony?"

Tony turns around...

"Keep the apron."

"Ziva...turn around." She turns as he zips up her dress.

Ziva grabs her gun from inside Tony's bag and checks the clip, then slides it back in and places it on her person.

"Where do you put that anyway, Zivalicious?"

"Heh...wouldn't you like to know?"

"Remind me to go exploring later."

"Such a naughty boy."

"Heh..." ...as Tony grabs his gun and places it in his holster...and he walks towards the kitchen

"What are you doing? We're about to land."

"I need to get something."

A few minutes later, Tony comes back with a full bag.

"What's that?"

"I emptied the fridge and cabinets."

"Why?"

"Why not?...they had three bottles of Kristal in there, might as well take it...being undercover rules."

"You're costing tax payers lots of money."

"I pay taxes, too."

"True...anymore cupcakes?"

"No, you ate them all, you little cake gobbler."

"Aww, too bad...and I was gonna get some frosting on the way to the hotel...but now what would I put it on?"

"Speaking of naughty."

"...damn you and your sexiness."

Tony playing with his tie..

"We are on final approach, so if you aren't in your seat, please do so..."

Ziva grabs his tie and kisses him..."Got everything?" ..as they sit down

"I guess, should I take the towels in the bathroom?"

"God no, they were yellow...ewwww."

"Note to self: Don't buy anything yellow for Ziva." Tony makes a clicking noise.

The plane lands...

The captain and co-pilot come out...

"I hope you enjoyed your flight."...as they open the door.

"We did, thank you."

Ziva steps off the plane...and Tony follows her...

"Aww, Hawaii...I've never been here before, Tony."

"Aloha, Ziva."

"Mr. and Mrs. DiNozzo?"

"Yes?"

"Your limousine is on the way."

"Thank you."

"I'll get your luggage now."

He leaves...

"I think your right, Tony...the director did go all out."

"Indeed." ..as he smacks her on the butt

The limo pulls up as the man with their luggage comes back...the limo driver opens the trunk as the other places the luggage in the trunk then closes it...Tony walks over to him, reaches into his pocket and takes out his money clip, he licks his fingers then hands the man a 50.

"Oh, thank you, sir."

The limo driver opens the door and Ziva gets in, followed by Tony.

"You gave him a 50 Tony."

"Jenny gave me a little extra cash."

"How much?"

"$10,000...we have to take it look real, Ziva."

"Do you know our destination driver?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Good."

They arrive at the Hawaii Eclipse Resort...the car stops and the limo driver gets out and opens the door, Ziva exits, then Tony...then he opens the trunk and a bell hop takes the luggage out of the trunk..

"Here you are, my good man." ...as Tony hands him a 50.

"Thank you, sir."

They head inside the entrance.

"Mr. and Mrs. DiNozzo...we've been expecting you...your room is ready, if you will, please follow me."

The young lady walks and they follow...the bell boy right behind them with their bags

"Here we are." ...she opens the door and goes inside, Ziva follows her as Tony waits for the bell boy...he places the bags inside and Tony hands him a 50 and he leaves with a smile on his face.

"Here is your jacuzzi bath, next to it, is your sauna...and on left is the bar, it is stocked for you, free of charge." ..as they come back out of the bathroom into the living area of the suite.

"That's very nice of them, isn't honey?"

Tony walks towards them holding a 100, "Thank you.."...Tony looks at her nametag..."Jill." ...handing her the 100.

"If you need anything, just let me know."

"Thank you, we will."

The door closes.

"Holy crap!"

"You can say that again."

"Holy crap!"

"Just a figure of speech, Ziva."

"Oh..."

"This room does cost more than our house, though."

Ziva walks into the bedroom..."The bed is huge, Tony."

"We've been here 2 minutes and you already wanna do it again?"

She peaks her head out of the doorway..."Yes."

"heh...be right there." ...as Tony walks over to the fridge and places the Kristal inside

"Tony..."

"Yes?"

"You better hurry."

"Start without me if you have, too."

"TONY!"

"Sorry!" Tony runs into the bedroom

Ziva lies alone in bed, a knock is at the door, with the sound of a shower in the background...then another knock

"Coming." ...as Ziva wraps up with the blanket from the bed

She walks to the door and opens it..

"A package for Mrs. DiNozzo."

Ziva takes the package, it's a long rectangle box with a bow on it.

"One second, I have to get my purse."

"No need, Mrs. DiNozzo, your husband has taken care of it already."

"Well, thank you." ...as she closes the door.

She walks back into the bedroom and places the box on the bed, then opens it, she folds back the tissue paper to find a card and a black dress...the note reads: "If I'm wearing Armani, you should be wearing Valentino" ...Ziva lifts the dress by it's spaghetti straps..."This must've cost a fortune."

"It doesn't matter what it cost...do you like it?" ..as Tony walks out of the bathroom wearing a towel

"I love it."

"Good, then it's money well spent...now, take a shower and get dressed for dinner."

"What, you're not joining me?"

"Sorry, I have to do something, we'll take bubble bath later tonight, ok?"

She smiles..."Sure."...as she walks into the bathroom, dropping the bed covers.

Tony walks over picking them up, places them on the bed...then goes to get dressed.

Tony opens up the door, walking back into their suite...he takes out his cell and calls someone...

Ziva steps out of the shower and wraps her body with a towel and stands in front of the mirror, she wipes off the mirror with her hand and wraps her hair with another towel..."Tony, should I put my hair up or leave it down?"

No response

"Tony?" ...as she walks out of the bedroom and into the bedroom, where Tony is talking on the phone.

"Are you minding Auntie Abby, Sienna? ...well, that's good and you're taking care of your brothers, aren't you? ...that's my big girl. ...what? ... oh, we'll be home in a few days...we miss you, too. ...look, I gotta go, kiss your brothers for me, will ya? ...I love you, Sienna."

Tony hangs up...

"Hey..." ..as Ziva gets on the bed and crawls over to Tony wrapping her arms around his neck..."Everything ok at home?"

"Yeah, everything is fine...the kids are with Abby."

"You miss them as much as I do?"

"More." Tony sighs..."You ready to eat?"

"Yeah...should I put my hair up or leave it down?"

"Whatever is easier for you...you could put it in a ponytail if you want."

"Ok..."...as she gets up to get ready.

Tony sits on the edge of the bed with his face in his hands...then he rises and goes to the bar and takes out a bottle of water, he takes a drink then pours some over his head, then pushes his hair back with his hands.

"I'll be right back, I'm going down to send a postcard to the kids..."

"Ok..."

Tony gets to the door and starts to turn the handle..."Oh, Ziva?"

"Yeah?"

"Wear underwear..." ...as Tony turns the handle and leaves

Tony opens the door and walks inside

"Are you almost ready, Ziva?"

Ziva walks out in the black dress, with her hair pulled back into a ponytail, except for a few strands of curls that hang down the right side of her face. "What shoes should I wear?"

"Something comfortable...ummmm, how about the Jimmy Choo black sandal heels I'm holding in my hand?"

"You're spoiling me, Tony."

"So?"...Tony sits on the bed..."Come here." ...she walks over to him..."give me your foot." patting his knee...she raises her left foot, placing it on his knee...he caresses her calf, moving down to her foot...finally sliding the sandal onto her foot, then buckling it around her ankle. "Now, the other one." ...she places her other foot on his knee and he again caresses her calf and foot before putting her sandal on. He lets go of her foot and she leans down and kisses him.

"Can't we just skip dinner?"

"No, I've set up something special for you."

Tony turns her, rises and kisses the nape of her neck...moving his mouth to her ear…"Very special."

Ziva opens up her neck more to him, but Tony moves away, grabbing her hand..."Let us be on our way."

They leaves through the front door...they walk to the entrance...

"Our limo?"

"It's right outside, sir."

Tony hands him a 50 as they walk outside

"You look absolutely stunning, Mrs. DiNozzo."

"Here's a another 50." giving him a wink

"Right, sure."

Ziva enters the limo first, then Tony follows

"Where to, sir?"

"Rose Rogue, please."

"Right away."

The limo leaves..

The limo arrives at the Rose Rogue...Ziva steps out, then Tony...they go inside.

"DiNozzo, party of two. Merci."

"Aww, yes, we have a special table for you. Please, follow me." ...he walks off and they follow, he heads up a set of stairs, into the balcony..."here we are, sir...the best seat in the house." He pulls out Ziva's chair and she sits...

Tony hands him a 100

"Merci beaucoup!" ...and he leaves...

Tony sits...

"You know, you're turning into a regular James Bond."

(as Sean Connery) "DiNozzo, Anthony DiNozzo."

A waiter places bread and pours them a glass of wine

"It's kosher, Ziva...I made sure of that."

She smiles..."Thank you."

Tony laughs...

"What?"

"I wonder if I'm considered kosher?"

"Tony!"

"It was just a question...heh"

The waiter places soup in front of them and lays out napkins across their laps

Tony raises his hand and a man walks over to him and Tony whispers in his ear and he hands him a 50 and he leaves..

"What was that about?"

"You'll see."

Ziva is finicky..."I don't want to mess up my dress."

"Eat, baby...you're gonna need your energy tonight."

She laughs...and she picks up her spoon and tastes her soup..

A young girl comes up and hands Ziva a dozen roses

"Merci" ...Tony stares at Ziva...

"What?"

He continues staring.

"Tony...?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you staring at me?"

"Because you're the most beautiful woman in the world."

"Oh stop it!"

"I can't."

She continues to eat her soup..."You know, this is really good."

Tony continues staring at her...he moves a strand of her hair out of her eye...

"Sir?"

"Yes, please."

The waiter places their dinner in front of them.

"You hardly ate anything, Tony."

Tony looks down at Ziva's plate..."...and you ate everything."

"Yes, I know."

He reaches out to her, dabbing the side of her mouth with a napkin..."...and you didn't get a thing on your dress."

The waiter places a piece of 8 layer chocolate cake between them.

Tony takes his fork and cuts into it and moves it too Ziva' mouth, feeding her a piece.

"Mmm, very sweet."

Ziva slides her finger into the frosting and slide it into Tony's mouth.

"Very sweet."

Tony motions to a waiter..."Please leave us a lone."

The waiter leaves...as Ziva take another bite of the cake.

"Do you want some more, Tony?"

"No..." ...he leans forward..."Take your panties off."

Ziva looks at him..."...what?"

"Take them off and hand them to me."

"Here?"

"Yes."

Ziva scoots forward in her chair..."I can't believe I'm doing this."

Tony sits back and watches...

"What movie is this from, Tony?" ...as she continues

Tony takes a drink of his wine..."are they off?"

"Yes."

"Hand them to me." ...she tries to hand them to him under the table..

"Above the table, please."

"Tony!"

Tony just looks at her...

She hands them to him and he takes him into his hand and bring them to his nose, then places them in his suit pocket...he then leans forward and kisses her..."Sliver."

Back in the hotel suite, laughter and giggling is heard

The camera moves from the front door, through the bedroom and finally through the bathroom door...Tony and Ziva are inside the over-sized bathtub, she's lying on top of him, her head laying back on his right shoulder...bubbles cover everything

"Too many bubbles, I can't see anything."

"I like it like that...it's called mysterious."

"I call it teasing."

Tony tickles Ziva...she giggles..."stop it!"

He tickles her...she giggles again...she turns over quickly, she collects bubbles with her hands and builds a bubble beard on him, then soaps up his hair.

"How do I look?"

"Silly."

He tickles her again...and she once again giggles...then pushes off sliding to the other side of the tub.

"What are you doing all the way over there?"

"Stay away from you."

Tony frowns...

Ziva grins...

"What are you doing with your foot, Mrs. DiNozzo?"

"Searching for a sea serpent."

"Heh."...Tony's cell rings..

"Yeah?"

"Hey, Tony..."

"What's up, Jenny?" ...as Ziva laughs in the background

"What is that splashing sound?"

"Where taking a bubble bath."

"Oh, hello Ziva."

"One second, I'll put you on speaker." Tony clicks a button..

"Shalom, Jen."

"I totally lost all track of time, Jenny."

"It's ok, nothing important, just checking in...making sure everything is ready for tomorrow."

"Yeah, I already checked out his apartment."

"When did you do this, Tony."

"When you were in the shower before dinner, Ziva."

"Anything to report, Tony?"

"Not really, we have the same exact room layout, so it should be easy to navigate in the dark if required."

"Any intel for us, Jen?"

"Actually, yes, Ziva...it seems the Korean will have a companion, a woman, we assume it's his assistant...so, we're gonna need detail on her, as well."

"Anything else?"

"Nope, just make sure you install that trojan horse on his computer tomorrow."

"Have you gotten Gibbs up to speed, Jenny?"

"Not yet, Tony...but I will."

"I'm trusting you, Jenny." ...Tony hangs up..

"Now where were we Tony?"

Tony disappears under the water...

Ziva sits by the pool, wearing a bikini with a sarong wrapped around her, with sunglasses on.

"Oh, pool boy!"

"Yes?"

"A mai-tai, please."

He nods and leaves.

"Zulu 8, radio check."

"Loud and clear...how's video?"

"Your legs look amazing."

"Thank you, Tango 8...the target has arrived, with companion."

"MTAC is coming online, waiting for instructions."

"Here's your mai-tai, Mrs. DiNozzo."

"Thank you." ...she takes a sip

MTAC comes online...Tony turns his mic off to Ziva..."Jenny, the target arrived minutes ago, Zulu 8 is waiting for instructions."

"We need a pic of his companion, Tango 8."

Tony turns his mic back on..."Zulu 8, we need a photo of the companion."

"Got it." She rises, takes off her sarong and takes a step into the water...

"Be steady, Zulu 8." ...Tony clicks a few buttons..."Got it."

"Jenny?"

"That is all for now."

"Zulu 8, mission accomplished"

"I'm gonna need someone to put suntan lotion on my back, Tango 8."

"See you in 10, Zulu 8...Tango 8 out."

"Tony..."

"Yes, Jenny?"

"We've got a name."

"Already?"

"Mi Suki, she's Chinese, she's American educated...MIT, 2000-2003...Nuclear Physicist"

"Nuclear?"

"That is correct."

"Homeland security?"

"Only as a last option."

"Gibbs?"

"Not yet."

"Please don't hesitate, Jenny...have you asked McGee, maybe he went to school with her."

"He's not in the loop."

"Maybe you should bring him in."

"Tony...you two can do this."

"Jenny..."

"Do it, Tony."

she signs off

Later in the day, Tony is sitting on the edge of the bed, while Ziva lies under sheets

"Why did you stop?"

"It doesn't feel right."

"What!?"

"The mission."

Ziva looks up and says a prayer...she then smacks Tony on the back..."Don't scare me like that!"

She rubs his back where she hit him..."You're not lying to Gibbs, Tony."

"But it feels like it."

She sighs..."I'm going to kill her!"...she pauses..."Look, I'll take care of everything, I'll bug his computer and I'll take out the frog."

"I don't like how she's acting...I think she's out of control."

"He did something to her, Tony."

"Did she tell you what?"

"No...but I know how she feels."

She pats the bed..."come on, lay back down...I have a plan and I will need your help."

Tony lays back down...she snuggles up next to him..."What's the plan?"

"Well...I was thinking..." Tony rolls over and kisses her..."I thought you wanted to hear the plan." ...he kisses her again.

"Later, I'm not a quitter and I'm not quitting now..."

"Oh, Tony..." ...fades to black...

Later that night

Ziva walks through the door, she's wearing all black.

"I need to you distract Mi Suki, Tony...she's at the bar right now."

"How?"

"She's been sitting there drinking margaritas and flirting with a lot of guys...so.."

"Turn on the charm, huh?"

"Just be Tony."

"I think I can do that."

He starts to leave..."Tony, one night stand her."

"What?"

"Bring her back here."

"I'm not gonna sleep with her, Ziva."

"I know...I would kill you."

"Oh...well...that's comforting."

She kisses him..."Just do it."

He leaves..."Great, I got a horny Israeli wife wanting me to pick up a Chinese lady for sex, but I can't have sex with her, because she'll kill me, but I gotta make it out like I really want to have sex with her, but we won't be, but what happens if Ziva thinks I went to far, will she get pissed at me about that? I'm screw, right? Oh the hell with it. I'm screwed either way."

Tony licks his left ring finger and takes off his wedding ring..."Showtime, Tony"...then walks into the bar...and sits down next to Mi Suki.

"Bartender, margarita please..." ...handing him a 50..."keep the change."

"Good choice."

"Excuse me?"

"The margarita."

"Oh..."...Tony takes a drink..."you're right, it was a good choice, maybe I should come to you from now on for my stock picks."

She laughs..."I don't know about that."

Tony takes another drink..

"I..I'm Mi."

"Mi?"

"My name."

"Awww, I'm Anthony...it's nice to meet you Mi."

"Likewise"

"What brings you to Hawaii...business or pleasure?"

"Mostly business."

"Aww, that's too bad...it's such a beautiful place to waste with business."

Tony takes another drink..."Another round, barkeep and another for the beautiful lady."

"Thank you, Anthony."

"My pleasure."

"Speaking of pleasure, is that why you're here?"

"Well..." Tony takes another drink..."It's complicated."

"How so?"

"I'm suppose to be on my honeymoon."

"Suppose to be?"

Tony brings his hand to his face...he struggles to get out, "It's hard to talk about."

"Aww, I'm so sorry." Tony picks up his glass and it shakes

"She didn't deserve you, Anthony."

"I keep telling myself that...but this pain...it won't go away."

Tony turns away from her..."I'm sorry, I don't mean to ruin your evening."

"You haven't...really."

The bartender delivers the margaritas...as Tony digs into his pocket for money

Her hand reaches over grabbing Tony's wrist, "Let me."

She opens her purse and hands him some money.

Tony grabs the new margarita glass, taking the frost off the glass and applies it to his face, making him appear to be crying..."Thank you, Mi...I think it's best if I go back to my room."

Tony pushes on the bar to stand up...

She lays her hand on top of his...Tony looks over at her..."Do you want some company?"

Tony wipes his tears away with his right hand...he turns and takes a step...then holds his right hand back and she puts her hand in his and they walk out of the bar together.

They are outside Tony's suite

"Anthony?"

Tony turns to her..."Yes?"

She takes a step toward him and kisses him...he pulls away..."I'm sorry."

Tony opens the door...then takes a step back and kisses her, pulling her into the room.

"Did you just kiss her?"

"Yes."

"Who are you?"

"Shut up...why did you kiss her?"

"Because I had, too."

"Anthony, what's going on?"

"I said shut up."

"She's my wife."

"Wife?"

"Oh, I didn't mention that?"

"I'll ask one more time, why were you kissing her?"

"Sealing the deal, babycakes."

"No hanky panky?"

"You interrupted that."

"What!?"

"I'm very confused."

"You're Mi Suki, a nuclear physicist, you went to MIT and you're working with a Hideo Nobo."

"But...how?"

"NCIS"

"Who?"

"Believe it or not, I'm getting used to that."

"We're Naval police."

Ziva ties up Mi Suki to a chair, blindfolding her and gags her mouth

Tony walks over to Ziva..."are you really mad at me?"

"Yes, you kissed her."

"I was acting."

Tony kisses her..

"You reek of margaritas...that's...that's...so hot."

Ziva attacks him, ripping his shirt off...pushing him onto the bed...everything fades to black..

45 minutes later

Ziva buckles her pants as Tony still lies in bed

She walks over to Mi Suki and takes off her blindfold...then gag..

"Oh my god, I can't believe you two had sex while I was sitting here...I could hear everything...I think I need a cigarette.."

"That was our first threesome, dear."

"...and our last."

Ziva takes a leather case from her baggage and starts to lay it out on the dresser behind Mi Suki.

"It's not necessary, babe."

"What is she doing?"

"She's ex-Mossad...it's her torture kit."

"Please do something, Anthony."

"Don't worry, she's not gonna hurt you."

Ziva chuckles and continues to set up.

"Please, don't hurt me. I'm just a tech."

"I know."

"What do you mean, I know, Tony?"

"She's CIA, Ziva."

"H...How did you know?"

"She's CIA?"

Tony places his hands behind his head..."I called McGeek and asked him about her, he told me she was accepted to Langley."

Tony looks up..."you two didn't date or anything, did ya?"

"Who?"

"Tim McGee."

"Who?"

"Figures."

Ziva moves in front of Mi Suki..."What is your assignment?" ...she's holding her knife.

"We're all on the same time, please don't hurt me."

"Ziva, behave."

"I should rip her lips off...she kissed you."

"You have to forgive, Ziva…she's a little...possessive."

"Is your assignment Nobo or La Grenouille?"

Silence

"Cut her, Ziva."

"No, stop!"

"It's Nobo."

"Go on..."

"Please, this was my first assignment."

"Why are you even a field operative?" Ziva asked.

"I wasn't suppose to be, but since I'm Chinese, they said they couldn't pass it up."

"...and how much training did you have?"

"6 months."

"What were they thinking? The CIA has become a joke."

"Ziva, hate the CIA later...Mi, tell us about Nobo."

"I was to see if he had uranium enriched rods."

"...and does he?"

"No."

"So, what is he doing here to meet La Grenouille?"

"He was going to try and bluff his way into 25 million dollars."

"In blood diamonds?"

"Yes."

"That's La Grenouille, all right."

Ziva moves to the back of Mi and cuts her free..."Then La Grenouille doesn't know Nobo is the one they're meeting?"

"No, they just know a codename, Nobo has been extremely paranoid"

"What's the codename?"

"Magma"

"Mi, I want you to introduce me to Mr. Nobo."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to become him."

"We'll contact you later." ...as Ziva opens the door and lets her leave

Ziva closes the door and looks at Tony...and shakes her head

"What?"

"Only you would interrogate someone nude."

"It turned you on, didn't it?"

"Maybe."

"Heh..."

Ziva walks in through the patio sliding glass door into their suite

"Tony?"

She walks through the bedroom into the bathroom

"Tony..."

Tony sits in the jacuzzi.

"I thought you were gonna wait?"

He doesn't answer

"Hey!" ...she walks over and smacks him in the back of the head

Tony turns around and takes the ear piece out..."Yeah?"

"Oh sorry.." ...as she starts to rub his head.

Ziva starts to disrobe as the camera pans to Tony as she climbs inside

"What are you listening too?"

Tony hands her one of the ear phones...

"Is that me moaning and screaming? You have a recording of me orgasming? ...and you're listening to it?"

"It's the greatest sound in the world."

"I dunno if I should be freightened, honored or turned on."

"Maybe a little of all three?"

Tony turns off his ipod and places it on a towel just outside of the tub

"So, what's up?

"Mi persuaded Nobo to meet us for breakfast tomorrow."

"So, your plan worked, huh?"

"I'm worried about Mi, though...she's totally green."

"She'll do fine, all she has to do is sit there."

"How are we gonna do this?"

"I just talked to Jenny, she's gonna be erasing me from NCIS, I'm going in blind."

"Is that smart?"

"Probably not."...he pauses..."Don't worry, I've set things in motion that will secure our safety."

"What things?"

Tony moves to her..."Everything is going to be fine."...as he kisses her...

Ziva wraps her arms around his neck and squeezes...and whispers..."Don't make me raise 3 kids by myself...they need their daddy"

Tony doesn't say anything...he just hugs her back...

Ziva wakes..."Good morning."

She looks to her left and Tony is gone.

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank goodness." under her breath

Tony walks out of the bathroom, completely dressed

"No need to have breakfast with Mi and Nobo, dear."

"Why's that?"

Tony points to the bathroom..."Nobo's in there."

Ziva gets up and walks into the bathroom...Nobe is literally duct taped to the wall of the shower, his hands handcuffed behind him with duct tape coving his mouth.

"How much duct tape did you use?"

"Four rolls."

She shakes her head...

"His laptop is on the table, it's online with MTAC right now."

"How did you get him, I've never seen him outside his room, since he's arrived."

"On my way back from the airport, I just happened to see him walking down the hall. I guess he ran out of toiler paper, because when I knocked him out, 3 rolls fell out from under his pajama top."

Tony walks over next to Ziva..."by the way, what kind of terrorist wears pajamas to bed? Not just pajama, but pajamas with footies"

"They all can't be like you, Tony...it takes a certain kind of man to sleep naked."

"My boys need air, Ziva. I hate 'em sweaty."

"Me, too."

Tony gives Ziva a glare..."Heh.."

Tony puts in his earwig and hands one to Ziva

"Go for Tango 8."

"La Grenouille arrive at 11 a.m., Tango 8. The mission is a go. The meeting is at the Laguna Airport, remember codename: Magma. Good luck."

"Thanks, Jenny."

"Tango 8, out."

Tony puts on his sunglasses..."video?"

"It's working."

"Time to go."

She kisses him..."come back to me."

"Of course, we haven't had sex today."

"Giving you added motivation?"

"You could say that."

Tony starts to leave...Ziva grabs his arm..."I mean it, Tony...come back to me."

"I promise."

Tony stands waiting for his limo, with Nobo briefcase in hand

Tony coughs..."Check."

"Nice and clear, Tango 8."

Tony coughs again.

"Your limo, sir."

"Thank you, Patrick." ...handing him a 50.

Tony gets inside..."Laguna Airport, driver."

"Right away, sir."

"How long?"

"15 minutes."

"Thank you."

"Mi is with me, Tango 8."

Tony coughs again..

"Mi says the rods should come off as radioactive, Nobo dummied them up."

Tony coughs..

"How's the fishing in Hawaii?"

"Pretty good, sir."

"Any good boats?"

"Yeah, the Sienna."

"We're here, sir."

Tony steps out.

Tony walks to the driver's window..."About that boat, I'd like to go there when we're done, if that's ok?"

"Yes, sir...the boat is anchored close by."

Tony walks through a gated area...La Grenouille plane is straight ahead...two men wait by a car..

"Stop, up against the car."

"I have a gun, it's in my holster and I have a knife, it's on my belt, right side."

They take his gun and knife and pat him down.

"Codename?"

"Magma."

"Wait."

A man goes inside the plane...then comes back to the door waves Tony and the other man in

"He will see you now."

Tony walks up the stairs as the other man follows him..

The sound of scratching is in Ziva's ear...then a smash...

"Aww, damn it! They're onto him...they found his earwig..." Ziva hands cover her face...

"Look, the video is still working."

Ziva looks up as Tony sits down facing La Genouille.

"Bonjour, so what can I do for you today?"

Tony hands him the briefcase

He hands it off to someone else..."Would you like a drink?"

"Yes, please."

He waves his hand and a man in a suit brings 2 glasses..."I hope you like it, it's from private collection."

Tony takes a drink..."Macallen, isn't it?"

"I'm impressed. You know your scotch."

"At close to 35,000 a bottle, it's hard to forget."

"True."

Tony takes another drink..."I have other business to talk with you, La Grenouille."

"Please, call me Rene."

"If you'll call me Anthony."

"Than it shall be done, Anthony."

"I've recently come into contact with a special person you may know."

"Who would that be?"

Tony takes another drink..."Jennifer Shepard."

Rene thinks for a second..."Oh, really?"

"I know she screwed you on the ARES deal."

"Screwed me? How did you know?"

"I know the men who bought it from you and how unhappy they were."

"Go on..."

"I can deliver her to you."

"Alive?"

"For the right price."

"How much?"

"I don't want money."

"No money?"

"No, I want to start a business relationship with you...I have people all over the Pacific region."

"North Korea?"

"It's one of my key areas of business."

"Terms?"

"You supply the money, I do the leg work...we split it 50/50."

"What kind of equipment are we discussing?"

"Weaponized anthrax, materials for dirty bombs, stingers, body armor, etc., ...hell, I can get you a civil war cannon, if that's what you need."

"Sounds good."

"Rene, as a good gesture...the rods are my gift."

Rene rises and behind him is a picture of Jeanne Benoit."

Tony stares directly at it…Tony flashbacks to times with Jeanne, them making love, bowling, then seeing her dead...Rene notices..

"Aww, my daughter, she recently passed."

"I...I'm sorry for your loss. She was quite beautiful."

"Oui, she was indeed."

"May I use the restroom?"

"Yes, of course. It's right this way."

Tony walks into the bathroom and washes his face..."Get it together, Tony." ...he smacks himself

Tony takes a huge breath...then another one...he then takes out his pen and writes something on his hand then steps out of the bathroom

"Rene, would you show me out?"

"Of course."

Tony is right at the door..."Thank you for the scotch."

"My pleasure." ...He grabs Tony arm..."When should I expect shipment of Miss Shepard?"

Tony walks out the door...then looks at his watch, then turns his hand over, showing the word: "Gibbs"

"Gibbs?" Ziva says shockingly

Just then a bullet takes out one of his bodyguards as Rene jumps back in the plane, Tony follows him. Gibbs is shown with a sniper rifle on a rooftop about a mile away from the airport...Gibbs fires again, another guard is shot in the shoulder...a limo speeds toward him, McGee jumps out and tackles him and cuffs him.

Rene runs down the center of the plane screaming..."Take off!"...Tony chases after him as another bodyguard runs past Rene going for Tony.

"Kill him, Marco!"

Rene runs into the cockpit and locks it behind him...a woman comes out from behind a curtain..."No shooting, Marco!"

Marco works his way towards Tony as the plane starts to take off.

Ziva watches in terror as Marco lunges at Tony, knocking him down, his glasses fly off...the glasses fall on the ground, upside down...a few moments pass...then a pool of blood slowly works it's way into view on the carpet.

"TONY!"

Marco rises, as Tony stays on the floor, then Marco slowly turns around showing Tony's pen his back, he falls forward smashing the glasses.

"Something just happened." Mi pointing at the screen

"What? What did you see?"

"I dunno, like something hit the glasses, then it went black."

Tony rises and walks up behind the woman, on the way he grabs his gun and knife from the Marco..."Hello, Regine Smidt."

"How do you know my name?"

"You're a terrorist, I'm an NCIS agent, I have a computer, your name is in it...any other questions?"

She holds up a gun, pointing it at Tony.

"Give me that damn thing"...taking it from her, takes the clip out, tosses it, then gets rid of the bullet in the chamber then tosses the gun to the side..."I wish my wife was here, she'd really love to kick your ass."

"What? Afraid to hit a girl?" ...she punches him in the face...

"Do it again."

"What?"

"Do. It. Again."

She punches him again

"Again. I like pain."

"You...you're crazy."

"Come on, you're suppose to a terrorist."

She punches him again...finally drawing blood..

Tony licks blood from his lip...Tony grabs her by the throat and pushes her back to the cockpit door..

"Rene!"

Tony pounds on the door with her head.

"I have your, bitch!...come out and get her."

Tony squeezes her throat..."Scream for me, baby."

"Never."

Tony takes out his knife and pins her ear to the door with the knife...She screams..."Better."

"Rene Benoit! Next time I use my gun."

"How did you know my last name?"

"Long story short, I dated your daughter."

"No, Jeanne was a good girl."

"No, she was quite naughty."

"How dare you!"

"She loved it, Rene. She couldn't get enough!"

"Don't open up that door, sir!"

"Shut up, whoever you are."

Regine grabs a bottle and hits Tony upside the head with it...he turns his head as the wine inside pours over his suit...his grip loosens and she starts to run away, but Tony grabs her arm and pulls her back, he grabs her by the throat again and smashes her head into the door 5 times, he lets go as she slowly slides down the wall, leaving a trail of blood.

"Rene, open this damn door or I'm bringing us all down."

Tony fires and shoots out a window.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Tony shoots out another window.

"Fine, stop it...as he opens the door."

Rene sees Regine on the ground..."You've killed her."...he jumps at Tony, grabbing his gun, they struggle over it and it goes off, shooting the captain in head, killing him.

The plane does a sudden nose-dive taking Tony and Rene into the cockpit, as the co-pilot struggles to regain control.

Rene wrestles the gun from Tony and points it at him and shoots, but Tony knocks his arm up and he shoots a hole in the plane's windshield...Tony kicks Rene in the stomach knocking him out of the cockpit.

He falls over Regine's body...he crawls and grabs a gun, he turns and fires at Tony...click

"You need bullets to fire a gun."...as Tony kicks him in the ribs.

"Please, I have lots of money."

"No."

"I'll give you 20 million in blood diamonds right now."

"No."

Tony kicks him again...

"What did you do to Jenny Shepard?"

"Nothing."

Tony shoots him in the hand...He lets out a scream...

"Tell me!"

Tony points his gun at him again..

"She worked for me...I took her on as a lover...she was undercover...when I tried to find out who she worked for...I had her drugged, beaten and raped for several day and then finally left for dead."

"Get up!"

Tony yanks him up and pushes him to the door, then hits the door button and it starts to open. Rene holds on for dear life.

"Let go."

Rene screams.

Tony shoots him in the knee..."Let go!"

Rene continues to scream

Tony shoots him in the other knee...Rene falls to his knees...Tony kicks him in the face with bottom of his shoe, Rene flies out the door as Tony struggles to make it to the button, but he does and he pushes it...the door closes.

Regine comes running into view, she hits Tony over the head with the briefcase, knocking Tony back into the bathroom, she goes to hit him again, but the briefcase is too wide and the doorway stops it. Tony fires once, hitting her in the stomach, he fires again...his gun is empty. She falls back, Tony grabs the briefcase and starts beating her over the head with it..."die, bitch, die!"

Tony kneels as the plane suddenly takes another nose-dive...Tony flies back into the bathroom, hitting his head on the mirror.

Tony lies unconscious, water quickly fills the plane

Water reaches Tony body as the plane slowly starts to sink...water splashes on his face, bringing him around, he has a severe cut on the back of his head.

Tony tries to stand, but falls and slides down the center aisle, his feet now against the cockpit wall, half of his body is now underwater...Tony lays his head back resting, as water rushes onto his head, the salt in the water, makes the cut on his head burn. Tony puts his hand on his cut, then looks at his hand. His hand is covered in blood.

Tony dives through the cockpit door and starts to kick out the water in the wild shield of the plane.

-------------

Gibbs is now at the airport, the man Gibbs shot lies dead from his injuries, a paramedic is strapping him to a stretcher.

"Boss, the plane Tony was on just crashed, on the other side of the island...the Coast Guard has been alerted."

Gibbs gets in the limo, "Get in the damn car, Tim."

Tim runs and gets in the car.

"Have you seen Ziva, McGee?"

"No, she wasn't in the limo with Tony, Boss."

"Call her, McGee...find out where the hell she is."

McGee calls Ziva cell..

Tony swims back through the cockpit door, popping out of the water...he's breathing hard..."I just can't do it...I'm sorry.."

Gibbs stops the limo as Ziva and Mi stand on the corner, LEOs have Nobo in custody.

"Where's Tony, Gibbs?"

"Get in Ziva."

"Where is he!?"

"We don't know...the plane went down."

Ziva grabs her hair in frustration..."He promised."

"Get in, Ziva...please."

Ziva and Mi get in the back and they drive off

Tony lies still, the water up to his chest now as he lies on the slope...memories fly through his mind...Ziva and his children...then of Gibbs..

"DiNozzo!"

"Yeah, Boss?"

"Get your ass up!"

"I can't, Boss."

Gibbs walks over and smacks DiNozzo on the back of the head

"Now!"

Tony starts to crawl upwards, grabbing the chair arms...Tony falls back into the water as luggage and items fall on top of him...Tony heads back through the cockpit door and starts kicking and punching the windshield...he finally opens the bullet hole up some more, then he grabs and starts pulling it back with his hands, cutting them in the progress until he can fit through...he slides through and floats to the surface.

He then blacks out

The Coast guard chopper is now on the scene...

"They say no survivors, Boss."

Ziva starts crying..."No, please god...no."

Gibbs hugs Ziva..."He promised, Gibbs...he promised!"

Ziva, Gibbs, McGee and Mi stand on the beach looking into the ocean.

"I can't believe he's gone." McGee kneels picking up some sand and letting it slip through his fingers

Gibbs continues to console Ziva

"If you need anything, Ziva."

"Thank you, McGee."

Tony walks up behind them..."Anyone else feel like crap?"

Ziva turns around..."TONY!"...she runs over to him...then slaps him so hard she knocks him down

Tony looks up at her...then lays back..."I should've stayed on the boat."

Ziva jumps on him, kneeing him the groin.

Tony moans..."What's wrong, Tony?"

Tony continues moaning...

Ziva looks down..."Oh my...I just kneed your boys, didn't I?"

Ziva gets up..."What boat?"

20 minutes earlier

Everything is black...water gushes out of Tony's mouth...his vision slowly comes back...19 women in bikinis surround him

"Am I in heaven?"

"What?"

"Am I dead?"

"Are you ok?"

"Huh?"

"We pulled you out of the water."

Tony turns his head and sees that he's on a boat..."Hawaiian Tropics? God does like me."

"Are you ok? You weren't breathing. Rob gave you CPR."

"Wait, of all the people on a boat full of bikini models and a dude gives me a CPR?"

"No, Rob did...short for Robin."

"Oh, thank god!"

"You're bleeding."

"Heh…hazard of the job."

"What exactly do you do?"

"Would you believe bikini inspector?"

Tony sits up..."I didn't think so...I'm kind of like a cop."

"Do you have a uniform? I love a man in uniform!"

"He's got a ring, ladies...he's taken."

"Aww, that's too bad."

"Hey, I can't eat, but I can look at the menu, can't I?"

Robin helps him up..."We're heading to shore now, the cuts aren't as bad as I thought. I bandaged them up. I don't think they need stitches, but you might need a second opinion."

"Thanks...you a nurse or something?"

"Nope, I'm in veterinarian school."

The boat arrives at shore, Tony says goodbye to everyone, then tries to step up onto the dock and fall head first. "I think I'm gonna lie here for a minute."

"Bye, Tony!"

"Bye, ladies!" Tony says in a muffled voice

A man walks over..."You ok, man?"

"Yeah...could you help me up?"

He helps up Tony and he walks down the pier..."Hey, I think I know them people."

Tony walks over towards them..."Anyone else feel like crap?"

Tony still lies on the sand….Ziva holds out her hand..."Come on, Tony...you kept your promise."

"Ziva, I feel like crap...I just can't get THAT done right now."...Tony pauses..."All right, give me minute, I think I can do it."

"What are you talking about?"

"I dunno, what are you talking about?"

"Going home."

"Oh, I thought you wanted sex."

"In your condition?"

"I could do it...I think."

"Really?"

"You two do know we're here, don't you?"

Ziva turns..."I'm emotional right now...and when I'm emotional, I get horny."

Gibbs starts to walk away..."Good luck, DiNozzo...you're gonna need it."

McGee and Mi follow him

"Boss? McGee? Mi? Help? Hello?"

Silence

Tony gulps..."I'm so screwed."


End file.
